As i sit here my mind wanders.who have i become,what is my life,do i live for me or exists to make sure everyone else is ok.
Do i matter or just a easy way to not be alone.
I ponder,do people actually know me,or just the parts that benefit them.Do they actually love who i am,or just want to not be alone so make do?
Its not that peoples opinion of me matters,its not that.
People fling around the word love without barely understanding its true meaning.To me love is deep and its real,it means something.to say you truly love someone is to understand and appreciate who they are,im not sure many people truly do.
I'm slipping into a place where i am alone in my thoughts again.That place isn't fun.i long for someone to understand how i see the world,share my passion and vision.But it seems I'm destined to be a lone wolf.
I love someone because i really see them,i fear many don't.Its so sad in this day and age that there is always a condition put on love.people stay with each other out of fear of being alone,siblings who cant stand each other,stay in each others lives because thats what your ment to do,friends stay friends because it benefits in some way etc etc.
The world is a very false place and every now and again i have no choice but to acknowledge that,but it leads me to evaluate every relationship in my life.
I am comfortable in who i am,but are those around me? Or do i just serve a purpose? There is a difference between loving someone unconditionally and just putting up with parts you don't like because you don't want to be left alone.
This isn't a depressed writing,just a wondering really.
The definition of love varies so vastly from person to person,it is inherently hard to come across people with the same ideals and morals,not just on a romantic level,family,friends etc too.
We keep people in our lives,even if they are negative,for all sorts of reasons but very rarely out of love.usually misguided attachment of some sort.
I wonder if the people of this world will ever learn to be true to themselves.
I think love starts with you.loving yourself means loving you,warts and all.knowing your worth will stop you allowing others to treat you as a back up option etc.you will eventually understand,you deserve love that is real,with no conditions because you will be willing and able to give the right love yourself.
Don't settle for relationships of any sort,just because you dont want to feel alone.Trust me,thats a lonely place to be and it makes you a shell of who you are.
Be true and hold your head up high,the right people will love that about you ❤