I find myself
In war
Again
And again
And again.
Why is it always the tough road?
The chaos.
The off road path.
That most do not find
The least bit appetising.
The road less travelled.
The road mostly travelled –
Barefoot and bleeding

Yet I have peace
Surpassing
All understanding

Dead tired,
I am alive.

A great writer once said
“We know what we are,
But not what we may be”

I know exactly what we may be,
oh my delusional heart!
I have no idea what we are.

(William Shakespeare, and me)

We laughed tears rolling down our cheeks,
it was midday.

One would have thought we were a few drinks in,
but this was us.

(Drunk on life.)

Despite the many efforts
The imbalance still exists
The very same act
Praises him for effort
And condemns me
Of desperation.
I am to wait in patience.
Like a prey
Waiting to be caught.
I am to be weak
“Do not scare him off”

But at the same time
We should
“Know our worth”
“Do not settle”
But only when he,
settled for you.

These are just some
Of the invisible
Burdens
We carry
This is what it
Still is -
To be a woman.

And in my defence to the words
“uptight” and
“over cautions”
I would like to say that
I was not one to take my eyes
off the future.

It's been a long road to recovery
Three and half years
Since I have put some words
Down

I have grown
I have healed
I have learnt
I have faced my biggest fears
I have said farewell to my twenties
I have settled
In myself

I can talk of my pain
That was
And is
And may be
I can look at it
In the eyes
I am whole,
I am healed
I have faced my biggest fears.

You did not take her Honour
No, you lost yours.
You were never given such power.

She is still indeed very Honourable

I can not say the same for you.

She is pure, dressed in white
She walks with her head
Higher than yours
She carries no shame

The shameful things were not
‘Done to her’
They were in fact
‘Done by you’
They are YOUR shameful acts
And you are now

A victim of your own shame.

I’m so sorry for you.

For the burden you carry
For the guilt you will feel whenever you hear the word

****

I hope it echos
I hopes it’s deafening.

You only made her stronger

And you have showed the world

How weak you are.

(A poem to victims of **** and abuse and the hands of men. )