hi
its me
in a few weeks, or months, or years,
I hope you wont recognize me.
I hope when you look back,
You'll think, "Wow,
Id have to swim across every ocean to get back to where I was."
I hope youll have watered your wilting dreams,
Giving life to what you should know you deserve.
I hope you will know that even if your heart hurts,
Its only temporary like the pitter patter of raindrops.
I hope that when you feel like no one understands,
You remember that your feelings are still as real as a rainbow.
I hope that every time a wave grasps you under,
You reach for the light just like a sunflower.
I hope you can leap across those unsteady cliffs,  
And finally see what hides beneath the ledge.
I hope that when the sun makes its way under the horizon,
And you let your eyes fall closed,
You're just you.

I miss knowing the words,
To put from mind to mouth,
Or pen to paper.
These day the words get lost in my head,
On the road to becoming a whole thought or idea,
And I can never seem to find the wreckage of the crash.
As if they all just disappeared,
And all the words swirling around my head,
Were never truly meant to be known.

Meet me at midnight
Flowers in hand
Moon casting shadows
On the ground where we stand
Two lonely humans
Holding on by a strand
Torn but not broken
Holding my hand

theres a switch
inside of this body
i call my own.
it flips so easy
turns the lights out so fast,
too fast.
cant control it
cant reach it.
just have to let the ache settle
deep inside my bones.
wait it out
wait for it to leave.
knowing itll be back so soon,
too soon.

Let my hands be the pages
That hold your unspoken words
Let my voice be the letters
That refills the pages once burned

Every time this happens,
I wonder
If its a pattern that will ever break,
Or if maybe I should just
Give up?
Its not like anyone cares,
That Im trying.

I should feel the sting of betrayal
Maybe later, I will.
But for now,
All I wonder is
How did I let myself believe it?
A strong friendship, so fast
Can never last.
Not for me,
Anyway.

I thought you just had
Ups and lows.
When you could make me smile
And laugh
And feel wanted.
And when you could make me question
Why I was even here.
Holding back tears
Id never let fall.

I wanted to understand you
In a way no one ever could for me.
I thought we were strong,
That we would last.
But I barely held on for 8 months.
And you?
I dont even know when you let go,
Because I never saw the ties between us fall
In the first place.

Ive given up on you now.
At least,
Im trying to.
Its hard
When someone makes you feel
Like youre on the verge of okay.
Even though you arent.
But they can also push you off the ledge
And watch you dangle.

I thought you had love for me.
And you might.
But what is love,
If it is not shown.
I cant just be loved.
I need to feel it.

My faith in you,
Has not all been drained.
If only I could tell you all this.
And make you understand.
But I cant risk
Your icy, yet burning heart,
Leaving a deeper hole in mine.

I wish you would know,
That it still leaves a small crack in me.
That I couldnt see you,
All of you.
I wanted to
I really did.
But even though,
The things that hurt me were small,
They mattered.
They really did.

Youre in good hands.
I hope if Im right about you
Being misunderstood,
Like me,
You find someone.
If you havent already.

Unlike me,
This wont end with pain for you.
At least,
I dont think so.
I was not significant in your heart,
Like you were in mine.

I dont feel the sting of betrayal yet.
Later, I will.
But for now,
All I wonder is
Why did I open up heart again and
Believe?
A strong friendship, so fast
Can never last.
It never did for me,
Anyway.