Baby, I’m a mess over you.
A beautiful, emotional mess over you.
A loving, heartfelt, tearful mess over you.
A caring, longing, heart-stopping mess over you.  
An “everything about you” kind of mess.
You just make me so happy; I smile, cry, breathe fast, tingle, shake, and get nervous—almost like it’s our first date.
Baby, I’m a mess, but baby, I’m a beautiful mess over you!

A moment

A moment in time
Does this flip on a dime
A moment in time
Hanging on like a lifeline
Does this moment in time vanish
Fast like a breeze
Or this moment we speak of roll like the seas
This moment is yours its all up to you
You spend these moments anway that you choose.
Spend them fast where your holding on for dear life
Let them go like a rock dancing across the ice
However you spend these moments let no one judge you
For I'll tell them they're all wrong.
This moment in time is your choice to have
Dont put this fate into another ones slippery hands.

Leanne10/21/24

Anxiety and Fear

Looks like you’re holding a snow globe so intricate and sweet.
Once shaken, the snow starts falling in big sheets.

For this fragile snow globe is not ever really clear.
When it’s shaken and shaken again, then comes the fear.

You can’t see inside to the beautiful scene.
You start to panic; will the view ever be clean?

You keep shaking the snow globe harder and harder, and then,
The questions and anxiety creep right on in.

Will I ever get to see into this beautiful globe?
Why is it so hard to see through the snow?

Why is it like this, what did I do this time?
I’m always ruining something I feel every time .

This perfect snow globe will never be the same.
Why does it feel like I’m going insane?

I’m a huge mess of tears and fears.
This precious snow globe doesn’t deserve to be here.

I then take a seat and set the globe down.
Upon my face, there’s such a big frown.

I’m upset with myself; what did I do?
I’ve broken something beautiful, shiny, and new.

It’s then when I look at that snow in the globe start to slow down.
It starts to settle back down to the ground.

I start to breathe slower; the tears and fear calm their war.
It is then that I realize what I have done, and all becomes clear—

that I do have some power over my anxiety and fear.

Leanne

My heart beats steadily,
My face starts to flush.
When I'm beside you,
I get a big-time rush.

Leanne 11/21/24

I can’t imagine how much better this can be,

when it is beauty in all that I see.
Like I wandered into a dream,

the most beautiful dream you could see.
The presence of you, and the presence of me
It’s like the moment was meant to be.
So perfectly, my hand conforms to yours.
How Beautiful you kiss my hand in its small
form.
The way I fit so Beautifully under your chin.
I never want this moment to end.
When it does, your feel lingers still.
I feel as if you can’t be real.
It’s almost l like im imagining you.
There’s no possible way in the world that’s true!
The way that you look at me, so deep into my eyes.
I could live in their reflection forever and ever.
To just look at you and hear you speak.
It’s the words you don’t say that’s such a treat.
The way  I’m able to understand what this stare means from the sweetest man.
Beautiful connection ,
Beautiful spark.
Beautiful,  just so beautiful ,it just goes straight to my heart.
I feel I could be in your presence all of the time, we would  never get bored.
I’d always have you as mine.
I promise I’m not taking you away for only me.
But man if there was a choice with you, I would flee.
Beautiful stranger,
Beautiful friend,
Beautiful  moments,
That have just began.
Just beautiful…..

Between the world and me,
a fateful friend,
a flowing fountain.
Between the world and me,
a picture in a frame,
a field of wildflowers.
Between the world and me,
a night that keeps the stars
and hangs the moon.
Between the world and me,
a compass to a map,
a ray of sunshine.
Between the world and me,
a book with a bookmark
marking my spot,
a happy ending to a story.
Between the world and me,
you are a lamp guiding me
into my dreams,
a song without words,
written in stone.
All the wonderful things
between the world and me.

The boat floats, the waves toss about,
My favorite thing about this movement,
Is the view with you within the boat.

Leanne
11/23/24

These **** bottles of pills.
What kind of person have you made me?
When I take these little pills.
It’s only to alter some brain chemistry.

Lately it seems as if they are making me mad.
Quickly destroying all that I have.
These **** bottles of pills,
Yell out from the shelf.
“Please take me I’m here for your mental health”.
The problem with these **** little pills,
Is are they causing a problem, not letting me be free.

Tuning me into a mess, and not letting me be me.
This plastic facud I place on everyday.
Let’s me fake out everyone, Like,
“look she’s okay”.
Really though am I?
Have you seen this whack?

I’ve become obsessive, angry, and an emotional train wreck.
It’s taken over my sweet little brain.
Makes me feel as if I’m insane.

“Take this pill for your anxiety, even though it says depression”
“Oh and take this one, it will help you focus.”
“But keep in mind it also keys you up so your anxiety may be running little a muck.”
“Oh and don’t forget these pills they will settle you down, help you not have another run of the mill panic attack.”

Lets be real for a minute, let me ask you a question, how do you know that?
Only I know the real me and the one whos mind is off track.
Sometimes I feel like these pills are making me lose all control.
Like I have no say in what my brain tells these idle hands to hold.

I just jump in headfirst and keep diving in,
Not thinking of others’ hearts and what I might do to them.
Moral of the story is: Stop blaming the bottle of pills.
Keep control of yourself; don’t let yourself falter.
Find other things to occupy your brain rather than laying your pills on the altar.
Don’t worship the pills like it’s the only way out.

You are the person you were meant to be.
Let’s take away this mental health stigma and stand up for yourself.
I promise you’re really not crazy.
We all suffer from some type of mental health issue; you are not lazy.

What's at the bottom of the bottle?
Is it sorrow, fears, and a life gone wrong?
Maybe what's at the bottom
is a little something more.
Maybe it's what you've been looking for?
Maybe it's where all your dreams have gone,
Maybe it's where all your days have been,
Maybe it's a life well-lived.
The best thing about bottles
is that when they are empty,
they can be refilled with
whatever you desire.
Maybe it can be filled with new, clear, refreshing water that makes you feel fresh and free.
Maybe it's something wrong for you, but it's your only way to breathe.
What's at the bottom of the bottle?
The choice is up to you,
Because what's at the bottom of the bottle is meant for only you.

11/23/24
Leanne

Being comfortable with you is something so profound.
It’s the feeling of your presence whenever you come around.
I feel your comfort every time at first sight.
I know I’m comfortable because everything feels just right.
The way you call me “sweetheart” and check on me always
Brings so much comfort into my everyday.
The way you hold me tightly whenever we hug—
This comfort you’re giving is better than any drug.
I’m so comfortable with you; it’s always like a dream.
I can’t believe someone like you is with me.
I’m so comfortable with you when we talk on the phone;
I feel you’re right next to me even  when I’m alone.
I feel comfort in every word you say;
I trust and respect everything you display.
You comfort me with your strong, steady hands, and I hold them so tight.
I love when our hands touch and our fingertips mingle just right.
You’re my comfort, the place I feel at rest.
Being comfortable with you, baby, sure is the best.

Coming out of a fog
It’s like you’ve been hidden away and out of sight;
Like you are invisible, no matter how much you fight.
This thin veil that once hid my face
Is now showing bright light;
it has been given such grace.
Coming out of the fog is such a beautiful thing;
Nothing is better than seeing what it brings.
This instant connection to the other side.
To feel the fog brush over my face
Makes me feel like I’m leading race.
What a treasure it is to be seen and heard,
With just the simplest of his words.
His voice envelops me like the warmest hug,
It’s wildly crazy that it’s been hidden under a rug.
The chill from the fog as I’m passing through
Makes me feel like the only presence here in this room.
I get these crazy chills all across my arms.
I know that this fog I pass through won’t cause me any harm.
My heart beats faster; I get a huge smile.
It’s quite amazing, even between  many miles.
It feels like you’ve been beside me throughout each day.
Man, it’s crazy how fast we connected this way.
To think I once knew this man before, But not really knowing him much, I can’t wait to learn more.
The passionate, intimate, and emotional feeling,
The spark seems to be igniting a fire
showing a deep connection with new meaning.
Experiencing this with you fills my heart so fine.
I'll be yours, and you will be mine.

Baby, where have you been all my life?
Why have I missed a connection this much?
Something I never knew could exist like this.
The words “Just so you know, you’ve captured my heart” melt me into a puddle so sweet..
Man, I’m so glad we chose to meet. Once a friendly stranger, now a love who has my heart.
I’ve literally  fell  head over heals for you.
I Wouldn’t change a thing, unless it were to know you sooner.  The way your eyes capture mine, and mine capture the light.
Shows a magical connection, as if our souls are tied together, from the strings of our hearts.
The best thing is that things only look up now. I know my heart will never give up on this man.
I hope he knows he’s stuck with me for the rest of our lives. This amazing missed connection now connected, as if it were meant for a time like this.

Cover me in blankets
Cover me in warmth
Cover me from heartache
Cover me from storms
Cover me when I'm frightened
Cover me when I'm alone
Cover me with sweetness
Cover me with joy
Cover me with justice
Cover me with peace
Cover me with protection
Cover me while I sleep
Will you cover me always?
Cover me with your amazing grace
I know you will cover me
You don't see me as a disgrace
You cover me because I am yours
You gave your life for me
You cover me every day when you're watching over me
My comfort and my fortune
My eternal friend
You've covered me from the beginning
And you'll cover me till the end

Racing thoughts, uncontrollable thoughts at that, second guessing, stress, feeling maybe to obsessed.
This is what you do to me

**** you Anxiety

Sweaty palms ,heart beating fast, hyperventilating, lips turn to blue, air feels cut off
What do I need to do?

**** you Anxiety

It looks ok from the outer view but deep inside stomachs turning, I break a sweat, feels like all eyes are opened they are studying me.

**** you Anxiety

Take your meds! Did you take your meds? call your doctor that's what he says, it's not the problem cant you see nothing helps

**** you Anxiety

I wonder how normal feels? You mean you don't get flushed? your heart doesn't ache, your whole body doesn't shake?

**** you Anxiety

I guess it just me, this is who I am ,
some pitiful stricken Anxiety lamb.

**** you Anxiety

Darkness

Eyes close, darkness rises.
My life has thrown a surplus of surprises,

Some good, others I wish had never started.
This life I loved, once shown in bright light,
Is now covered by a solace of night.

Will the light shine back upon me again so this **** dark in my eyes can fade into oblivion

With hope and a friendly face and words that take me to a special place,
That place there, it's abundantly clear, the darkness was just my raging fear

Don't you ever doubt yourself, my love;
you are more amazing than you know. You were placed here on this Earth by the Lord above.
He surely gives amazing things to us that will grow.
There are so many special parts to you;
don't ever let anyone dull your smile. You brighten up any room you walk into.
For you, I'd walk a thousand miles.
You're so worthy of anything you set in your mind.
To be in your life today,
it's like a hidden treasure that I happened to find.
Don't ever feel you're not worthy of love, my sweetest Ray.
To me, you are a man who is loving and so kind.
That's something so rare.
You just keep being you, the one who is always on my mind.
Remember, just because other people make you doubt, I'm here....signed
-someone who really does care.

Baby, I feel completely weightless with your words to me.
You say things that make me feel like I'm floating on a cloud, so free.
With your beautiful words, baby,
These butterflies are always here for you.
You may feel like you don't do anything to make me feel as I do.
But, baby, this biggest smile on my face belongs to you.
When you say just what you feel,  baby like you do.
Your words speak to me going straight to my heart.
Ive never been shown love like this in the sweetest part.
This is all new and amazing to me. I love that you feel comfortable saying what you say.
That's why I'm like melted butter in my baby's hands every day.

Following those eyes threw the years.
I’d never think we’d end up here.
New connection between us two.
Destiny’s hand has led us through
You’re the only one, a
Once upon a dream
Under the brightest star in the sky
Boy, you sure are something neat
All for you is what I’d give
But for now pieces is all I’m allowed
Everyday this between us grows and
I’ll always FIND YOU BABE

Your gaze lights up in me a wildfire’s flame,
I become  consumed in the smolder, undone, craving more the same.
Your breath pushes hard, against my deepest plea,
Your kiss drowns my soul in the deepest part of the sea.  
Even in the darkness, your touch ravishes me so deep,
A burning heart fire I’ll forever keep.
My heart pounds wild, a radical call,
You’re my ruin, you’re the rise, your my all.  
No words from another can calm this blaze,
Your skin touching my skin sets my whole world ablaze.
In every pulse, through every rush and rapid fire,
You’re my heat, my volcanic desire.  
Does this hold the passion that you crave?
This sure has my hearts passion in a fiery rage.

First of many moments in love I have spent with you.
The firsts I’ve experienced in all my 40 years.
All these new moments I never knew I missed,
never knew I needed or wanted until our very first kiss.
That’s when it all started, and I finally felt seen.
Like you knew what I needed, wanted, and everything in between.
You putting on my jacket that evening it was cold.
This seriously just happened to me when I was 40 years old.
The way you hold my body so close and tight to yours,
When you pushed against me on the car door.
The way you hold my head and deeply kiss me cradling it with care.
The way you let me know it’s alright, you are there.
The way you call me sweetheart and ask if I’m okay.
The way you check on me throughout the day.
The way you nuzzle your face against my cheek.
This feeling is so special so close that I feel weak.
The way you take your finger and rub my soft spots on my face.
This makes my heart beat faster, almost as if I ran a race.
Sitting with you at breakfast on our first official date.
When you reached across the table and our hands met in between.
Holding hands across the table, I’ve never done such a thing.
There are so many first moments I’ve had with you.
I can’t imagine all the more first moments of love that are still to come.
Man, when I’m with you, Ray, you make me feel so loved.

In the quiet space of friendship,
is a place in which we fly
Not lovers, but friends under the same
stars in the same big, old sky.

Our bond, like a tapestry, threaded
and woven with care.
A sweet, pure friendship with such beautiful flair—

No need for the moon to whisper into our ear,
for there's  laughter, stories, and music we hear.

It's in this friendship dance that we do.
We both seem like mirrors,
reflecting each other.
A bond that's pure, almost
like sister and brother.

So here's to something that
will live on like space—
this friendship with you,
time cannot erase.

For in the end, you and I wll always be
such wonderful friends.

Hearts cry
Sudden rush of emotion
This may be tears or fears
The faster the heart beat the more cry
Hearts ache

He can make me laugh any day.
He can make me melt with his sweet forehead kiss.
He can make my love grow stronger for him in every way.
He can take one step away from me, and It's him I already miss.
He can say "I love you" to me, and he knows I love him the same, if not more.
He can light this heart of mine on fire when he looks my way.
He can hug this woman better than she has ever been hugged before.
He can kiss me ever so gently, my sweet Ray.
He can kiss me so passionately that our mouths become in sync.
He can make me happy when no one else can.
He can almost read my mind, as if he knows what I think.
He can make a simple phone call and make me feel like he is my fan.
He can make me feel all kinds of indescribable.
He can make me feel beautiful, and I truly believe it.
He can make time for me whenever he is able.
He will have me forever because this love will never quit!

He says I’m rotten,
I say he’s sweet,
Looking at us both,
We share something super neat.

He says I’m beautiful,
I say he’s handsome,
We both together
Make some beautiful connection.

He says I’m a great kisser,
my lips are tender too.
I say he is amazing,
showing what our lips can do.

He says I’m sappy,
Well, he’s sappy too,
We both are the sappiest
Trees out in the mountain view.

He says I’m thinking about you,
I say I feel you thinking about me,
We both get tingles,
and feel very warm.

He says, “Have I told you how much I miss you today?”
I say, “Baby, you can tell me as many times as you can,
Because I’ve been telling you probably just as often.”
He says, “Baby, I’m sure it’s just as much as I’ve missed you.”

He says he feels like he’s in a dream.
I say, “You’re not.”
But baby if we're dreaming, baby, please don’t let them wake us up!

This man beholds a golden heart within his chest cavity.
This golden heart within his chest, I feel, beats fiercely for me.
This heart of gold that he bestows is gentle, sweet, and kind.
He takes this heart and shares his gold with me on his mind.
When he loves and truly gives some of this gold to me,
he gives me so much gold from his love it makes me feel so free.
So when he tells me, "You're worth your weight in gold,"
It makes me smile so bright and bold.
This heart of gold has filled me full of love from him.
This gold from his heart I will cherish as a gem.
His heart of gold that he beholds, he may not think he's worthy,
but his heart I surely love; I'll gladly hold it with me.

When you hold onto me...
It's the thread from my heart to your heart that pulls me closer.

The way our fingers intertwine
Like a puzzle missing its special piece.
We fit together theres no separating us with time.

I will have you hold me however you can.
There are no questions needed,
You never have to ask.
As long as you're holding onto me however you can.
I know that I'm safe and I feel that way when you hold onto me just as I am.

Every touch you grace me with feels gentle and simply sweet.
I feel seen, I want you to always hold onto me.

Being held in your arms feels like we've been doing this forever.
You know where to hold me and I know where to hold you.

Im being held by my heart so please always hold me however, whenever you can.

The warmth of your touch, a gentle closeness between us two.
The force felt between our fingers, a sweet and tender embrace with you.

Hugs like a symphony of unspoken words a deep and meaningful connection.
Hugs this beautiful, shows deep-down love with such protection.

Hugs that come with a silent language spoken between our bodies tug.
Speaking with the unspoken connection of the sweetest hug.

Hugs and heart-to-heart communication, our chests pressed tightly together.

You're the one that this rapid heartbeat craves forever.

Hugs like a warm blanket on a cold and dreary night.
Filling the space with a sense of protection and comfort just right.

Hugs like sunshine on a cloudy day, bringing such bright light and happiness to my way.

I closed my eyes for just a blink,
But these brown eyes sure made me think
Of wonderful things I saw behind the shades,
Unknown to the people around or in the parades.
The eyes beheld a beautiful sight.
A man whose heart wasn't fixed just right.
I knew right then, whoever he was, I was destined to.
It's like my mind took a snapshot of you.
It definitely knew you before I even took a step.
The letter was written for us before we even met.
It's like you and I were destined to be
seen by each other.
This radiant match was meant before we stepped from undercover.
To know that your heart needed healing by just seeing with closed eyes.
Maybe it was just the reflection of what was wrong with mine.
Either way, it goes to show
someone out there knows more than we know.
Still, as I close these brown eyes for a blink or to sleep,
baby, it's you I see, and now that's never a blink.
I close my eyes tighter when you're not near.
I feel your presence from behind these shades; have no fear.
Baby, I plan on seeing you forever and many more years.

I'm a giver of my love, baby.
There's definitely no maybe.
When it comes to giving; it's just something I do.
Baby, I'd give anything or everything just for you.
I even give you endless hugs and kisses, no questions asked.
There surely is nothing that needs to ever be masked.
I give gifts that come straight from my heart.
These gifts come in my two favorite forms of art.
I give you my words as I speak them, every day, so true.
I give you my thoughts because baby, they are consumed by you.
I give myself completely every single part.
Most of all, baby, I give you my heart.

I'm not sure what's cuter, the way you make me laugh or the smile on your face.
Maybe it's the big grin I get when you say something that makes my heart race.
I'm not sure what's sweeter, the way we're so mushy in love in our messages.
Maybe it's the way we can make each other melt with just simple words and phrases.
Im not sure was more sexier on you, the way you give that "come get me" look, or the way you raise that eyebrow my way.
Maybe it's just your whole being, how you talk, and the things you say.
I'm not sure what's more romantic, the way you soflty caress my cheek And look into my eyes so deep.
Maybe it's the way you hold my head and cradle me against your body; I could almost fall asleep.
I'm not sure what everyone else has overlooked when they've looked your way.
Maybe because deep down they knew you were meant for me, Ray.
I'm not sure why you love me; maybe you share the same sentiment as me. Maybe it's because we were both made to give each other this beautiful love we see.

Im way to critical of myself,
It’s always something in my heart,I never feel I’m rested.

My brain gets too invested.

It’s like im a ticking time bomb, But not one that explodes.

But one who never knows when,Her emotions start to show.

Sometimes there’s  not a reason for All this silly pain.

It’s all seems pretty trivial,Seems to make me feel insane.

I hate to see my reflection  in the mirror On the wall.

Maybe that could be the problem.It’s just looking at all my flaws.

I never have liked what I see, i’ve always known why.

Can’t I just be pretty, to everyone else’s eyes?

I know looks don’t matter, It’s all just what inside your heart.

When critical of yourself, It’s when these feelings start.

I know I have my issues and probably drive people crazy.

I can’t help I get excited, I’m such a silly daisy.

I know I always ramble about nonsense all the time.

But see if im talking to someone then I’m keeping them occupied.

They won’t be so quick to judge me by how I come across.

Im really not trying to be anybody boss.

I always feel like when I turn my back.

Im the topic of discussion , on all the things I lack.

Will I ever be normal and not so in my head?

It’s starts in the morning and never settles till I’m in bed.

I guess im not the only one with this struggle everyday.

“Take a breath”, “Calm down”, “You’re going to be okay”.  

See, it’s never that easy; it’s not just the flip of a switch.

For if it were I wouldn’t feel like sometimes  I’m  such a *****.

I never mean to come off angry,  or even cut people off.

It’s just another product of one of my many flaws.

So, if you feel like me and are hypercritical, too.

Just know that there’s someone out there who knows exactly what you’re going through.

She's always in her mind,
looking for things she can never find.
She's chasing crazy dreams and wishes.
She's always chasing ***** dishes.
She's always in her mind,
looking for love she left behind.
She's always overthinking every situation,
causing her to wander to higher elevations.
She's always in her mind,
running from troublesome thoughts on the carousel you wind.
She's a worrier, always expecting the worst.
Why did she ever think of these troublesome thoughts at first?
She's always in her mind,
always working and on the grind.
She has to finish what she starts.
When she doesn't, she feels she shatters beautiful art.
She's always in her mind,
looking for ways she can always be kind.
She feels she's doing something sweet
when she gives loved ones things she finds neat.
She's always in her mind,
feeling as if she's leaving people behind,
she stresses over how others feel.
It makes her upset, almost ill.
She's always in her mind,
almost as if she feels confined, like a person locked in a room,
like she's chained and faces an uncertain doom.
She's always in her mind,
almost as if she were dressed up and disguised; she puts on a mask to show off a smile. Sometimes it's something you haven't seen for a while.
She's always in her mind,
Maybe it's what she was prescribed.
She sometimes feels crazy and she doesn't fit in.
But boy does she love when she's pulled into them.
She's always in her mind a scary place to be, but if she weren't in her mind, she wouldn't be.

When our eyes met across a crowded room,
a profound, unknown bond was formed, destined to eventually bloom.
This is when I believe our connection, beyond physical attraction, was manifesting.  
Through the years of seeing each other, not knowing what we know now, is something.
For in this love's eternal force, it broke through to our souls and connected us at the right time.
This is the flame that lit the spark we needed, and it has been just fine.
Now, this longing, ache, and desire I have for your soul constantly....
It's the passion in your deep down, I love with such intensity.
There's still something between our eyes and that first glance that makes us come undone.
It's a deeply familiar, electric moment between our souls, finally connected to a certain one.
The longing, the fulfillment, and the fierce devotion of our souls together, Make this wild, intense burning for a bond with you unlike any other.
So when our eyes met across that room, and many seasons have passed.
This has deepened the connection to the bond we share that seemed to happen so fast.
But to us, it seems like we've never been strangers as it shows.
I am ready for our love to grow, and I can't wait to see how intensely it grows.

In the eyes of my daughter, from the day she was born,
She had them locked on me like the cellar from the storm.
God knew what He was doing when He placed her in my life,
Just when things got crazy and there was so much strife.
The darkness of her big, brown eyes just pierced straight to my soul,
I delivered a missing piece, once missing, now she has made me whole.
I never thought the day would come when I'd have a precious baby girl,
I believe my daddy sent her from above to send me in a beautiful whirl.
It's never been too easy, yet never has been too rough,
But heaven gave this little girl specifically to us.
And boy, is she a tough one!
Don't cross her when she's mad. She is the prettiest little one I ever could have had.
The heart of an angel and the courage of a lioness,
Nothing has ever stopped my girl. She has always been so blessed.
She has always persevered and pushed on,
Even when she struggles and feels like she can't compete.

In the eyes of my daughter, from the day that she was born,
She took those big, brown eyes of hers and lit up my whole world.
And to this day, I look at her and can't believe she's my little girl. ♥️

It's another night where I lie and wonder what it would be like.
I wonder what it would be like to be in that space.
What would it be like if I could just be in that place?
Thoughts fluctuate through my head,
Then suddenly my nose turns red.
I wonder what you've been up to without me. What do you do?
I'm sure thoughts of me have crossed your mind, too.
This has to be the hardest part.
I feel a terrible aching in my heart.
It's not fair; they can't see. How can they possibly not know what you do to me?
These are just some thoughts that fill my head.
I even wonder how pleasant and peaceful it would be here with you in my bed.
My connection to you, my soulmate, yes, that's what you are.
You're like a gift given to me from the heavens, in the form of a star.
But here I lie and dream sweet, endless dreams that probably will never come true.
Yes, all my wildest dreams are with you.
With all my love, soul, and my biggest heart.
It's another night that we are separated, and we are sadly apart.

I'm just shell of who I once was,
I used to be much more
But lately I feel so empty
like I don't know what I'm for
Not to long ago I had alot of fans
People who looked up to me
Because I did so great
Today this isnt right
It's so not the case
I feel like I have let the most important
People down
Like I jumped into the deep end I can't swim
I might drown.
They expect a happy healthy home
But how can you have that
With a loser for a mom who can't seem to get on track
There's so many out there looking to hire
But when I turn in my resume it seems to be set on fire then they go about thier day
Why does no one want me? Do they know I'm a loser too?
I have so much I need to work for so much I don't want to loose.
I'm driving myself crazy like who have I become
I'm afraid I'll forget how to work and everything will go all wrong
I know people love and care for me deeply, if they only knew the hate I feel just at the reflection that I see
I could be talking crazy, it could all be in my mind
I feel like no one believes me but lord knows how hard I've tried.
I guess this is the new me ill have to get use to, being told your not wanted and then ignored by all
I guess this is the valley, no one told me how hard  I would fall.

See, Its seems to be im the one who can't let you go,
can't ever let you leave.
There's something about just one more hug and kiss
that brings me such sadness.
It's not because I fear it's the last,
but I don't know when the next one will be or if it will come fast.  
The time with you is completely amazing; so is everything we do.
It's just so much joy getting to spend any time with you.
It could be a simple meeting in a parking lot,
Just to sit and cuddle and hold each other, time flies by so fast it's almost that time's forgot.
It could be a visit to a store, for a short little shopping trip,
Even when we feel we're rushed in how we spend our time.
It's never anything negative; it's worth every second and every dime.
Getting to love you is special; it's an awesomely amazing thing.
I get to share my love with the most wonderful man life could bring.
I feel so peaceful and content in everything we do.
There is no space or time that will keep me away from you.

Don't let this dream I dream slip away, don't let it leave the brightest spotlight of my day.

Silent like a sundial in the sunshine,
I can only wish to claim you as mine.

I promise I'm just orbiting the sun in its natural RAYs.
You're a beacon of hope shining through the sunbeams today.

For the moments we share, reaching out to my friend,
in heart, mind, and soul, this bond can never end.

Let our bond be one of a kind,
special, just as we dream,
like a lighthouse searching with its brightest beam.

I'm here not to possess you,
just to bask in the warmth of your words and smile.
Your presence is like still waters on the sea across the miles.

In the beautiful colors of life, you're the most beautiful shade I've seen.
The laughter flows naturally and gently, like water rolling in a stream,

Talking like we are weaving a beautiful tapestry with our words.
Time, like wings that grow on the most beautiful bird.

In your presence, I only wish to exist  one day.
Please don't stop showing me that I am worth the stay.

Of all the time passing, of all the days apart,
keep me close to you, in your thoughts and in your heart.



Leanne ☀️

I can't explain my feelings why do I feel so sad?
It's almost as if I'm angry,
Leanne, why do you get so mad?
I feel like I'm alone here just all by myself,
waiting for the clock to tick, or turn the page to something else.
So emotional, so forgotten, and so blue.
Leanne, why does it feel like no one knows what the hell you're going through?
It's not very easy you can't just flip a switch.
It's almost like I have a scratch that can't even itch.
My emotions are so crazy I'm right here on the edge.
Please tell my mind to "stop it", "get away from that ledge".
I don't wish to harm me, or anybody else.
I just feel like I'm suffering, deep inside myself.
Leanne, what is this mess you have become?
What wrong inside your mind?
Can I please just feel normal and not crazy all the time.
My hands get so shaky, the biggest tears start to fall.
Sometimes they last a minute, then sometimes they don't stop for long.
I don't understand, I feel happy but my emotions get so confused.
I've got all I've ever wanted, but control of my own mood.
I may be a big baby, at least that what I feel I am.
Leanne can you please act like an adult now and not some childish little lamb?
Here I am almost forty years old, is that whats wrong with me?
Have I gotten to the age now, I feel bad for being me.
I feel like someone is always asking me why, when the tears start to flow.
It's like they have a problem with "I don't really know".
I know I'll be alright, and everything will be just fine.
I just feel I need someone around or beside me all the time.
Leanne Stop it!,get out of your head.
Look alive your not bed stricken or dead.
You have such beauty in your life, Leanne just smile!
I feel like sometimes Leanne is just letting everybody down.

Love you
I just want to
Love you, sweet man of mine
Love you right is what I want to do
Maybe soon

You make loving you so easy,
Like leaves on trees when it's breezy.
You make kissing you so sweet,
Everytime our mouths touch, it sure is extra sweet.
You make talking feel like chatting with the best.
With you, I'm so comfortable, much better than the rest.
You make hugging you the biggest stress relief.
Hugging you has to be one of my favorite things.
You make me have sweet tickles, that really are out of this world.
When you touch me,  I feel I'm your only girl.
You make everything feel so simple
Have you ever seen me smile so big that it shows my dimple?
But one thing stands out from all of the above.
Missing you is so hard, my love. But to have your sweet, loving self in my life today. It's worth all of the missing you, ill gladly take this pain.

You healed the ache I once had.
Opened up what was once trapped.
Unexpected blessings you were to me.

All time spent with you is a relief,
Replenishing the void with you.
Everything is wonderful beside you.

Making me feel brand new,
You’re the only Medicine that I need.

Meeting the needs of heart and soul,
Every day I'd spend with you.
Deepening the healing power of love,
I'm never giving up this medicine, you.
Calming my heart and all of me,
I need you in my presence,
Need you to be my warmth,
Even need you to be the refuge in all

of life's storms.
You are my medicine; I will always take it.

Mold me


Like clay that can be recycled,
Then formed into something new.
This clay, like a rebirth, now loved,
This new reinvention shows the new you.
Like in the potter’s hands, he molds a beautiful shape,
One that once was just a lump of clay.
The potter’s hands can make this art anew, escape—
Like helping shape someone’s life one day.
We are like clay, being worked and formed.
This process is like the improvement of oneself.
Unlike the piece that once was unformed,
Now becomes something beautiful to display on a shelf.

Moon glows
In the darkest night
Shining in the path of us
A gentle glow casting down lighting the way
Love grows

My lighthouse in storms
And times of life is you.

My lighthouse is my hope,
When things feel they may fall through.

My lighthouse guidance has helped, me endure the unthinkable
Helps me through times I need, healing and making sacrifices whenever able.

My lighthouse is such a guiding force,
Guiding me toward the correct turns, in the road to follow love’s course.

My lighthouse is stability, helping to steady me in its hold,
Never letting me go, a safe haven for me to live like gold.

My lighthouse guides me at night in my dreams,
Helping me follow all aspirations, always on my team.

My lighthouse is the light in my vision,
Helping to show clarity in all that’s been.

My lighthouse is my security always,
Keeping me safe and under a watchful light, in any unknown doorway.

My lighthouse stays ever steady in its love;
I’m always looking for its guiding light above.