As I plummeted, I cast my gaze skyward.

With a faint smile, I reached out, yearning for a tender hand to halt my descent.

But alas, none came.

The heavens, once radiant, lost their splendor.

I turned my eyes to the abyss below.

Its darkness gripped my soul with terror, yet still, I longed for a thorned hand to seize mine.

But alas, none came.

With all the strength left in me, I cried out.

And then, in the depths of despair, I grasped my own hand.

In that moment, my eyes opened, and I smiled.

As I walked, I felt the weight of strings
Bound to my heart, pulling me back.
I cut one free and moved ahead,
Yet still, the burden made me slack.

Another string I severed with care,
And forward I began to tread.
With each cut, the load grew light,
A smile appearing as I moved ahead.

I glimpsed the place I longed to be,
But strings once more held me tight.
So I cut a few and pressed on still,
My smile growing with the light.

Nearer now, the goal was close,
Yet strings kept tugging, pulling me.
I sliced through more and pushed through,
Determined, I was almost free.

At last, I reached the final step,
The place I’d dreamed of, finally in sight.
I cut the last string and stepped beyond,
A smile wide, yet fading from light.

As I stood in the place I sought,
A question arose, deep and stark:
Who am I now, having shed these strings?
In the silence, I wondered, in the dark.

The acrid scent of burning cigarette fills the air.

I hate that smell.

It sears my lungs.

I still remember how much I hated Cigarettes as a kid.

Yet, I glance at the pack, still full, and pull one out.

I place it between my lips and light it.

Do I love this? Or am I simply trying to convince myself that I do?

What is love?

Do I know what love is?

Have I ever felt it for someone?

I don’t know. But whenever I think about love I remember a pair of eyes.

I may never be able to describe the beauty of the eyes which used to shine like diamonds.

Whenever I think about love I remember a  smile so bright that it used fill colors in this gray world.

Whenever I think about love I remember a voice. A voice so soothing that it used to calm the raging sea inside my mind.

Whenever I think about love I see a face which I can’t remember now.

I don’t know about love but if there is something I do know is that if it’s real then I want it to be as beautiful as her.

I remember the first time I saw her. The world seemed to pause around me and I felt like I found something that has been missing for eternity.

I also remember the last time I saw her. The world spun too fast and It felt like a part of my heart was torn out.

I remember her parting smile.

I remember the day when I would have sold my soul to stay with her.

I remember the smile that I made and tears that I never knew were in my eyes.

I remember her voice digging like a dagger in my heart.

I remember everything but I don’t remember her face.

I remember how I slowly turned my back against someone that I loved more then myself.

I remember the steps that I took and how heavy they felt.

I remember how I wanted her to stop me.

I remember praying to dead gods and devils alike for the first and last time to not take this from me.

I remember her name which was used …

I remember her scent…

I want to remember her.

Did I give up?

I don’t know..

I still try to hear her smile in the passing breeze.

I still try to feel her touch in the soothing moonlight.

I still try to see her smile in everything that she loved.

I still try to feel her scent in the rain.

I still try to remember her eyes in the starry sky.

Whenever I think about love I still try to remember her.