You’re the reason I am me
Along with all that we’ve been through
So when I think
All my thoughts
Are tinged with signs of you

And it’s painful for me to see
You buy a ring for someone new
Even when it hurts
I’ll support anything
You do

Time unravels the complexities of my feelings,
And time is the only thing that can heal it.

It’s a gentle kind of pain.
It’s a two fold to the heart.

2013.
I know it's only my mind contouring his mouth into a smile and when I turn to walk away the velcro on his lips part; words like a choke-chain. But he has lyrics that remind him of somebody else etched into his hands, and she'll always be part of the plan.
He hums her song into my throat and we both pretend I don't understand.

2022

I know its only my mind conturing these memories
into a highlight reel
And when I think I have healed, once more I unfold.
But I have words he spoke etched deeply in the fibre of my soul.
I always thought he would be part of the plan.
He doesn’t sing for me and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts,
But I understand.

You strike your match
To light my wick;
My wax doesn’t drip for you.

He wants to take a dip
In my bottomless sea;
But is unable to swim.

I know I am meant to be a mother with all that I am.
I close my eyes to see my child’s face and feel their little hands.
I open my eyes and the bliss shifts to pain as fear heavier than anything I could explain cuts through my chest like a rip tide.
What means the world to me
may have been
forever
taken from me by a man
I meant nothing to.