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646 · May 2020
Dear Mother
Julius Mwanja Jr May 2020
Once upon a weedy lawn
At the Mwanjas family Home
There left mom, left before we could even say good bye
Thinking of it as a lie, it was so unfortunate that mom had to die

Blow upon this cloud of seed,
You should wish for what you really need."

I wished for one but sadly blew
As I was lost and left with no clue
My world ripped part unfixed without a touch of glue

Lost the only mother I ever knew
And saw the sky as if it was never blue
Like they was nothing else to do

And unsure of where to go
I found a bridge, and crossed it slow
As I found myself in momma's heart.
For her love was still part

We had lost a mother that could never be replaced
In her lightness of her motherly tone
Was her love for showing her motherly kindness?

Just one moment changed it all
When I saw moms friend softly call
As she whispered in my elder sisters ears
Your mom just died, I’m sorry dear

As the joy drained out like tides at sea.
Lost direction like I couldn’t see
Only left with pain and grief
I felt no relief and unwelcome like a thief.

There comes a time in this place
Were you try to do your best
You try too hard
But easy left without guard

I mean that only love is the way
As I changed from a boy to a man up to this day
Not love for a girl, a career or a degree I must say
But her love that transforms that we lost on  that day

Breathtaking, feeling like my heart could break
And not really sure of how much more I would take
I found myself living a life that was fake

Cause her heart was bright as the sun
As I remember every we had done
I remembered her dresses, beautifully white
I remember her as if it was last night

Like a knife tearing straight through my chest
I knew that I won’t ever seen her face, because mom was put to rest
Before I was her very own
Now mom is never at home

Very mush missed for her things
Down on her knees,
By the side of her bed she found her peace
Praying for us, like she knew she would live
Living us a world of grief

She prayed for our unity, she prayed we find love,
She prayed for our blessing she prayed for our Dad above all.
She prayed we find strength, she prayed for her home
She put our needs first before her very own

And I knew for the first time her pain and her care.
And I noticed also an angel-like glow,
As she reached out her hand, and said, "Now you knew."

But I'll never forget something I lost that day.

I lost a wonderful mother
So gentle yet so strong
The many ways she showed her love and care
And the way she made me feel like I belong

A mother who was patient when I was foolish
You were a mother when I was childish
You give me guidance when I asked
You were the master to my every task

I lost the only dependable source of comfort
I’m were I’ m today because of your effort  
The cushion when I fall
The only reason I knew how to stand tall
The only support I ever called
A mother I ever known

And this something I was told

Never discount the love of a mother from her son nor her daughter,
Never trade in that bond for the sake of a lover.
That there is power in a mothers loving prayers
And there is a God who hears and who cares.
I learned about faith, and unconditional love.
That my mother soul was sent up above
And I learned that from a little seed
Can come most everything we need

But some of us didn’t grow up with every in need
Because we lack a mother in need
So I had to push boundaries’ in order to create opportunities
Have to strive in order to succeed
We love you mom and very mush missed
This is your son KULI; remember you left me when I was a kid
This one is for you mom, may soul rest in peace
Not all people glow up wth everything they need
405 · Jan 2021
ENENY WITHIN
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
I would
If I could
But I watched like I should
Does that make guilty for the sins that was already done ?
Unmarked Territories
295 · May 2020
Love Story
Julius Mwanja Jr May 2020
It all begun with a love story when the love was first installed in me.
It hit me like a runing train but I was too blind I wouldn't even feel the pain.
So perfect as ever ,I knew she was my Eva
As it all begun on that very day so different from any other day but it wasnt just any other day,it was another day from another perfect year.
Maybe the start of a great love story some may say.
And it all started on that day ,when I first saw her along my way and I was like "hey  you okay mind me joining you" ?
And she was like "really" ?
Not sure of what next to say , felt short in words so I just started to pray .
Because she had me attached to her like a mental to a magnet.
The feeling was strong as it hit my mind like it was my favorite song.
I knew she would be mine fully knowing it was my time.
A story for told as her and I glow old.
True love story
264 · Jul 2022
Tonight
Julius Mwanja Jr Jul 2022
Tonight I address the issue
Tonight I resume and press play
Tonight You take me as I’m
Tonight I will be in your life until late is time
Tonight I headline highlight of your life
Tonight I will be Closer
Tonight I will be next to you like B and letter C
Tonight I mend my broken heart and I want you to make it your home
Tonight I checkmate you as King
Tonight I make one move next to you my Queen
Tonight I give you my world
Tonight the night is for us
Tonight where you are that’s were my heart will be
Tonight I will be your truth and never be a lie
Tonight its just U and I
Tomorrow is never promised but tonight  can be reality
                                  Dear someone  ❤️
234 · Jan 2021
FOCUS
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
Life is journey
Never rush  for money
Rough around the edges but smoth along the way
Every journey worth a thousand of steps totally begin one step
FOCUS
Life is a journey
What comes easily wont last long
What last long wont come easily
FOCUS
Step by step its gears , drive mode it moves
Slow but sure be dear
Take it as a theory
Or maybe an idea
FOCUS
This is a wake call to all those who supposes fear
But hey ,it okay  to fear
Whats courage without fear.
FOCUS
Brave are those who deeply plan so I call them rare
FOCUS
Life is a journey
Where a little progress each day adds up to big result
FOCUS
Where we meet and lose people along the way
FOCUS
Where we get hurt, cry , scream ,shut because we all fall short in words or ways  i might say
FOCUS
You fall , pick your self up thats the slogan
So have hope
Dream it , believe it , achieve it
But beyond it all
FOCUS
Because life is too short to live for others
From little progress adds up to big results so focus
234 · Dec 2021
Her Story
Julius Mwanja Jr Dec 2021
She woke up on the right side of the bed and the sky is shinning bright like ever, with her perfect smile she smiles like she was Eva.
The feeling was strong as the joy clicked her mind like it was her favorite song
With a perfect morning and so nothing seemed wrong
So she let her dreams be the distant cousins to her nightmares
With hope her sister to her prayers and bravery the father  to her fears
In a battle between personality and reality
So she planned deeply as she felt the love, so she prepared
She found some clothes and got dressed.
She couldn’t help but look in the mirror and subtly she was impressed
How her life was rough around the edges and yet casually messed.
As she looked in the glances out her window; she sees the sight that she was blessed

You see this was an African woman at the age of 16
The girl with a dream to shine like a star or brighter
A story foretold but this was truly her story
This was truly her feelings
The girl with a story to tell
But her life was no fairly tale; cause behind her smile is everything she tried to live behind
Behind her smile i saw pain; I saw stain across the heart I saw where it hurts and then I saw the truth and yes I saw both marks.
but I stood back as ****** , I watch with no response  does that make me guilty of the sins that was just done.
You see this was the life of a young African woman whose life was undone
I wrote this when we first meet and she asked me to write about her based on the little she told me
228 · Jan 2021
MY CHARACTER
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
You sermon me as a bad character cause you think of me as your hater. In this world of best debaters am subjected to high lectures. To either inspire or acquire it’s just kind of my deepest desire. Cause when I speak I spit out fire, higher building the best empire. My quest is to put on the best attire make you look, smile and then you admire. To innovate the event but only to invert. For knowledge to create is just more than our fate.
Be who you are no matter how differently people sees you
190 · Jul 2022
My Story
Julius Mwanja Jr Jul 2022
Its beated  like a drum beat
My heartbeat
So close I would feel my heart beat
Driven with passion
Giving up was no solution
This is a story of a guy who failed for a girl who wasn’t ready to date him
I mean he is the star in the story but it is a sad story
Listen to the story
Once upon a time as days went by , days to weeks , weeks to months , months to years and him as history
Sad story
My story
                          The End
The people we take bullets for ends up standing behind the trigger
173 · Jul 2022
Word Of Hope
Julius Mwanja Jr Jul 2022
With broken heart torned to pieces
Our mind full of thoughts and confused feelings
Our hearts bleeds in silence
Our minds triggers thoughts like loaded bullets
Hitting us were it hurts
Living us in grief with no relief and so unwelcome like a thief
In prisoned to our own thoughts only our minds is the cell
So lost and left with no clue even the sky doesn’t seem blue
Unsure of want next to do so lost in emotions
Lost in ways
We can’t find our selfs
Yes it hurts but Hope
We;
H-OLD
O-N
P-AIN
E-ENDS
Words of hope reminder of how to find our selfs
Because we are stronger than we know
Even if we fall in the deepest core of the earth
We will bounce back to our fits because we save a living  jehoval
And if we can make it through the dark nights there is always a brighter day
Everything will be alright if we stay strong
Its a struggle every day so we have hold on
Hold On Pain Ends 🙏
168 · May 2020
Street Soilder
Julius Mwanja Jr May 2020
Have been battling my reveal
But the streets call it survival
Because life is a struggle
So to make it in life is my  major ego
And I'm that ambious , furious type of eagle
Always with a high flow, chasing the upper door
And never will I taste down fall
Because I'm a Hustler ,a Solider
I'm a street warrior
Fighting poverty like a Solider
It is a war zone
Battling my reveal
Survival is always a struggle
So never depend too much on people
Specifically your uncle
Cause they never see the struggle
But they only see you as trouble
Pac said that
The street felt that
And so I wrote that
The main reason I hustle
Cause I will never be too young or too older
But too busy putting my life in order.
Work had until the work is no longer hard
166 · Dec 2021
Far Across a Distance
Julius Mwanja Jr Dec 2021
Far across a distance unnoticed for instance
Boundaries marked far beyond distance
Territories unseen , feelings gone as resistance
Burned by heat
Maybe that’s what it needs
May luck doesn’t favor twice
Maybe first , maybe last
Time flies by
But distance always catch by
Would we remember  what’s gone
Until I see u again
Maybe that the right song
May be right ,may be wrong
But was it  wrong to belong ?
Far across a distance our minds whispers’ in silence
Ego strakes , questions of integrity arise at times
Far across a distance
We tend lose a winning battle
In search for hope for our trouble
Maybe that’s why we struggle
Maybe that why we go unnoticed from a distance
How would I actually tell you I do and really mean what I say
Because really I do
The feeling were the person u were once close with can become just another stranger u dont know
156 · Dec 2021
Dying In Slow Motion
Julius Mwanja Jr Dec 2021
Living a life of emotions never in a clear white or black my life is an illusion, imprisoned to my own thoughts only my mind is the cell . My heart heavy bleed to pain ,I try to scream to let it all out but the pain is just that too much, it lives me voiceless unsure of whom to tell or where to go .My life is no fairly tale because lonely is what my heart feels beating to sorrow but still hoping for a better tomorrow my mind trapped in thoughts doubting if tomorrow ever comes. Can please someone help me because everytime I wake up I wake up with a broken heart . Am a person in human form with a heart in broken pieces Can somebody help me can somebody  hear me . Dying slowly without anyone's notice but I know am the reason for all this . I got a loaded gun and pulled the trigger in my head only the bullet went  in my heart  and it taking control damaging my body and soul .Am dying in slow motion lost in my emotions can someone help me am doing well have lost it all ,tried of trying thinking of letting go .
Imprisoned to our own thoughts
156 · Jan 2021
Bedside
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
Mad but bad buddies
Black but with  best bodies
Well known but fear arises amongs lies
Scores unsettled ,unfinished ties
Fear flies
Questions of integrity comes at times
So big comes with size
Bigger you better smarter you wise
Success comes with a price
Survial requires a dice
Maybe luck favours twice
Maybe first maybe last
Unmarked territories so we chose sides
So who be there when u slide
Bedside.
Who needs you when the rest cant see you.
Beside
151 · Jan 2021
LOVE FOR TWO
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
Its will be grace every moment spent with you
I will give praise because I know our love will be only meant for two
For I know you and I will be forever true
With no clue but with the love that will ever glow
Like a growing seed out of the blue
Always together like two pieces stacked with glue
And always love you as if I ever knew
Dear Perfect Match
149 · Jan 2021
LOVE LOST ON SITE
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
I knew a girl; I loved her million times more than any number It’s like she woke my heart up from a long waking slumber
She all I had at the best price life could ever give. I knew little about love but I can say ours love was amazing
And “Yeah. It's was quite breathtaking"
She was an endless to a love that was priceless Only her beauty was enough for me to listen to her talking about something I loathed
I mean the only thing that made more sense to me than cars and poetry
I heard every word she said, because to me she was like the rhythm to my heart
And made my heart truly beat.
Then I realized that I lost her in brick of an eye Caught up in a lie , left me wondering why
In grief a world with no relief, with little I said for ignorance was the most dearly price I paid.
It was for that reason that I had to learn the biggest lesson, that love is priceless but it only takes time to find it.
And I was looking for something I already lost
To sermon character life went on
I tried to leave but before I could run
and yah I got a beating and man was it a good one, life beat me so hard that each time I tried to fall I never reached the ground.
I Continued with ease like before
Because the walls was too thick, advancing a chore as if I was running out of room
A chances for love to grow or to bloom. I hit the last, great, thick wall and I was in doom.
Without any access beyond it at all and almost afraid to look at the view. I nonetheless watched, as I know I must do.
It was a scene I knew all too well. Her one mistake had I put me through hell.
Choosing from  real love just to flee.
So I found myself alone imprisoned to my thoughts
Because only my mind was my cell
Left  without reason and thought it was  good.
But here I’m, too proud to admit that it will be be long
Say's me the guy whose strong
Or maybe  what we shared was wrong ?
We dont hav to be wrong to belong
Love lost to time and regrets
Love lost on site
147 · Jan 2021
A CHILD'S TESTIMONY
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
So lost is a child with no hope
And yet with closed doors constantly just trying to live
Trying to live has god’s creation
But lying behind their faces are phases they hope to end soon
Hidden behind each face are testimonies But guardians too busy testing money
I mean the time they test the money they neglect the child for the money .
CALL ME A FAKE PROPHET
BUT YOU NEGLECT A CHILD JUST TO MAKE PROFIT
You **** a girl child and so lost she remains with no hope
A lost soul she remains, so you sold her soul So she leaps and you sow
Lost beyond it all
Abused and left for a fool
Used as if she was a tool
She Cant be an ordinary human
Cause shes always these mens woman
Never neglect a child
147 · May 2020
Lost In My Own World
Julius Mwanja Jr May 2020
I'm a lost son
With a lost soul
Who leap what he sow
And so I'm the lost soul they saw
So I sold my soul
And so I leap what I sow
So lost in words
So lost in ways
So lost in my own world
Where would I be ?
Why cant I see?
My thoughts take me there ,my heart put me at peace.
143 · Dec 2021
Lets Say
Julius Mwanja Jr Dec 2021
Let say  I told you my true feelings would you believe me ?
Lets Say I was not whom you thought I was, would you have taken the chance to known me ?
Let say we never meet on that day would they have been a you and I ?
Lets say what am saying was the only way ,What more would you say ?
Lets say patience pays, would patience pay love ?
Lets say I bring out the best in you and  so do U take away the worst in me would it be the best thing to ever happen ?
Lets say Monday was dating Tuesday but Sunday fell for Monday
would you remember the actual day ?
Lets say on that same day is the day I meet you and I called you on the next day.
Would you remember the day I meant you ?
Mae
133 · Dec 2021
WITHOUT YOU
Julius Mwanja Jr Dec 2021
Without you, life would a challenge, a messed up world and only a messed up me without courage.
Without you is me living a life that’s out of range
Without you, would be me living a life full of questions that only drives me to the next question
At point blank, broken to pieces, a broken heart that only misses
Without you is me refusing to see the truth because the heart refuses to see what the eyes can’t see
Without you is a scenario love scene, a scene were Love is lost to time and regrets,
Without U is unsolved equation, an incomplete formation Cuz you forever be my perfection
Without U they can never be an I Cuz U and I together will always be perfect
So without U, how can I love when it’s only U that I love, I mean only u and I are perfect
And when perfect is the sound of “I loving U” and only U because only U is all need
Without U then they can never be a me Cuz U makes me who I am
The person I needed the most tought me to never need anyone
129 · Jan 2021
My Tears I Cry
Julius Mwanja Jr Jan 2021
It doesnt hurt  to try
But it the pain that makes us cry
Torned apart left wondering why
A face full of tears
Wipe my tears I cry.
Pain a strong enemy for Tomorrow
My tear I cry free me from my sorrow
How could you hater us when you have already hurt us.
Sad story  my tears I cry
Does it pain you more than it hurts us
We cry because it hurts or because some left us .
Now who will counsel us ?
My tears I cry
Free pain through Tears
113 · May 2020
Undecided
Julius Mwanja Jr May 2020
Unsure of where
Not certain how
Right or wrong
And never really knowing why ?
But the feeling is strong
It click my mind like a song
Intentions unknown
How ,why and where are some of the questions
Is it me or its just my self
Tell me u know because i don't trust my self
Not really knowing better
So I write my thoughts in a letter
But take your time and let me pass by later
If love is strong
Then why shud i possibly be a hater.
Unsure
Excited
But undecided.

— The End —