Kiyyascribbles

Kiyyascribbles Aug 2022

You know,
Emotions are both a blessing and a curse,
they make you feel like a king of the universe,
but sometimes your heart starts to waver,
and suddenly you feel like a garbage container.

What is this thing that I hold in my chest,
and why do I always act at it’s behest,
why do I experience such peace,
every time I act like it’s chess piece.

You see these things befuddle me daily,
but I still cannot disobey it plainly,
I want to break free of it’s hold,.
Happiness is like a ladder,
the higher you climb,
the more devastating the fall,
that is the reality in this lame world,
Will the mind and the heart ever be one line,
or are they not meant to be intertwined,
can I be happy without one or the other,
this one question I cannot uncover.

Why does the mind get to speak,
but the heart stays silent,
the only way for another to hear it,
is for the mind to these feelings transmit.

What if the mind is unfit,
to these feelings ever emit,
why does such a heavy burden exist,
why can’t the heart and the mind just coexist.

@kiyyascribbles

#poetry

Kiyyascribbles Aug 2022

my relationship with anxiety

my anxiety is the reason i don't talk to you.

My anxiety tells me ; "kiyya you gonna lose her, ready yourself" i fought it off but still

My relationship with anxiety is an ongoing battle with chains I try and break daily. It is debilitating at times, but I too am ‘determined to knock her out of our house’. I don't handle conflict well, its cause i have to fight with her (my anxiety) before I could fight with you. When everyone leaves, she is the only relationship i could count on, the longest relationship i have ever been on.

She(my anxiety) sometimes interferes with my meaningful relationships. She and I really don’t get along as well trust me, I would break up with her, but she is me and how can I abandon myself? She shuns others away. It’s safer with just me and anxiety.

But, i hate to lose you,

I don't, and i can't.

But you seem okay with it.

#kiyyascribbles

#poems #poetry

Kiyyascribbles Dec 2021

in every season, i'll adore you

I'm here for the growth, the brightening, the weathering, And the hurdling for all of you.

I'll love you more in the spring, when you're growing and flowering,
when you're attempting to replace cold with warmth,
And when you're regenerating pieces of yourself.

I'll love you when you are summer,
When you're beaming bright and don't feel the need to cover your heart with a blanket,
When you're expressing all the warmth you have within.

I'll adore you when you're autumn,
When you're losing your skin,
When you're naked and vulnerable,
When you're changing and weathering.

I'll love you when you are winter,
When you're cold and bitter with the outside world,
When you're terrified of the fractures in your soul,
And it feels like the darkness will never cease.

Come as you are, and I will adore you in any season.

#poem #lovepoem #poetry

Kiyyascribbles Nov 2021

sorrow

We kinda share the same sorrow, and sometimes despondency
I feel it stoutly and firmly
There's a special vulnerability in that
A knowing
that surpasses and overshadow all knowing
An empathy
that surpasses and outstrip all empathy
It can't be undone
And so often I just want to hold you
and let my softness for you
live in your heart and soul

#poetry

Kiyyascribbles Nov 2021

Broken soul

Broken soul
Pick through the broken soul and wrecked dreams for the truths that lie between. Ages of our pain and sorrow sheltered in mental hollows. Caverns for our self pity and self loathing.

Firm through the broken soul and dispersed dreams for the hope that lies beneath. Buried glimmers of what-if locked away before they could be snuffed out. We protect the things we treasure the most by never letting them see the light of day.

But "we" means "me" and now you hold the key. Guard it tenaciously; my goodwill alone protects you from being cut. Broken hearts and soul have jagged edges.

@kiyyascribbles

at October 31, 2021

#poetry

Kiyyascribbles May 2021

Dear future wife

Dear future wife:
Here is the thing,
As I look into eternity I see your face

You are my universe my time and space

For if I slip from your hand I fall from grace

To die slowly in some hidden place

All my dreams are inspired by your touch

Oh my darling I love you so longingly I love you so much

Be body lame and beaten yet I walk with joy you as my crutch

As a mother and child ,as God and his creation I love you as such

When the dust of time has settled, the ashes of life blown away

When the sun has finally set and night no longer gives birth to day

When the dark is forever silent,no stories to tell ,visions to see words to say

When even Gods command holds no sway

Our love our love shall always find a way

So fear not my dear ,my dear do not fear

Let your smile hold no sadness may your dreams be full your eyes shed not a tear

For no matter how far the present may seem I am always here

No matter how lonely the night I am always near

Till the heavens cease to be bright

Till the strong lose their might

And the blind regain sight

In a starless universe you are my starlight

And if I die I shall die in your arms

If I drown I shall drown in your charms

For my future is written upon your palms

All my strength all my blood runs through your arms

For you are my faith my hope the only thing in which I believe

In a world full of lies and broken promises you I will never deceive

You my all I can never leave

For you are my breath when I have ceased to breath.

@kiyyascribbles

Kiyyascribbles May 2021

can a heart and mind coexist?

You know,
Emotions are both a blessing and a curse,
they make you feel like a king of the universe,
but sometimes your heart starts to waver,
and suddenly you feel like a garbage container.

What is this thing that I hold in my chest,
and why do I always act at it’s behest,
why do I experience such peace,
every time I act like it’s chess piece.

You see these things befuddle me daily,
but I still cannot disobey it plainly,
I want to break free of it’s hold,.
Happiness is like a ladder,
the higher you climb,
the more devastating the fall,
that is the reality in this lame world,
Will the mind and the heart ever be one line,
or are they not meant to be intertwined,
can I be happy without one or the other,
this one question I cannot uncover.

Why does the mind get to speak,
but the heart stays silent,
the only way for another to hear it,
is for the mind to these feelings transmit.

What if the mind is unfit,
to these feelings ever emit,
why does such a heavy burden exist,
why can’t the heart and the mind just coexist.

@kiyyascribbles

#poetry