In the darkest parts of my being.
So many category of monster would surface.
The constant mistake and behavior of people allow them to break restraints and attack.
My mess up needs and wants help feed their selfishness and taint all the uncorrupted parts of me.
It's weird how they don't leave any bruises or mark but somehow they can hurt me.
I have found and forge so many weapons against them.
I have develope different tactic against those who bring them to life.
Let's just say it a on going battle.
It's obvious who's winning.
One vs infinity.
But it's OK.
All that they stole from me I'll somehow take back.
Lord knows when I will find other to join the psychological fight.
'til then I'll deal with this alone.

We all have something inside of us.
Some of us can feel it.
Others are truly uncertain.
But it's waiting to be explored.
Just anxious to come out at will.
Maybe it's dormant until the right moment
Take over and alternate your personality.
Compel to react without your command.
Slowly to possess or at your possession.
Not knowing if it's part of us.
Will you accept?
Or just their to help.
A chance you might reject.
They could probably trap inside us.
Better yet maybe replace us.

Are we powerful or weak?
We have the power to hurt other and they call that weak!
Those who are weak, they tell them they have power.
If we know and accept our limits are we powerful or are we weak?
Can being weak be something more?
Not knowing our full potential and keep trying until we get stronger.
Can being powerful be something less?
Understanding we can't go further and this is all we have to offer.
Are they one in the same?
Are they two different thing?
I think of myself as both.

Sometimes my life is a mess.
Some days I need a friend or two.
Alot of time I want to be held or have someone give me affection.
Other times I don't want to be bother by anyone but that doesn't last too long.
Some nights I don't want to live.
Almost everyday I don't want to see the sun.
Everyday I fake a smile and hope it look genuine.
Or as genuine my sad state allows me to be.

Share your time
Share your words
Share your animosity
Share all that hurts
Share your thoughts
The darkest parts
Share what make you cold
Share what make you hollow
Share what keeps you up at night
Share your demons
But keep your angels
Share everything that prevents you
And take what you need from me
To make you strong

Pull me up and away from this world.
Take me to our paradise.
Brighten my dark mind.
Don't promise me another false heaven but a hell we can settle in.
I want another Taste of your twisted joy.
Crash my mind with overwhelming satisfaction.
Love my body to near death with your black ecstasy.

What I listen to is not for everyone.
The sound that come from these earphone or speakers are loud and unpleasant.
What's playing depend on your mood or it may change your mood.
Painfully loud your ears will ring and bleed just a little bit.
The music is my only company.
A room dark is my only friend.
And the vibration of a melancholic song is my only drug.
My only recreation.

I would like to be among the white clouds as it snow.
Just float above the earth and it's people.
If someone can deal me some wings
maybe two pair so I can keep up.
Or move faster than the birds or the angels.
Being this high can be scary until you become experience.
Their always that fear of falling then its gone when you get use to it.
Will I need more wings to touch the sun or to really see the Earth or even make it to heaven.
Or to many wings will pull me back and crash down.

Say it's good like the light in the beginning.
Take a bite from her fruit and show your world a new meaning.
From your heaven down to her earth you have descend.
To your broken wing and shatter grace she will mend.
Invitation to sin, righteousness or wrong doing, and the will to be free.
Unlike that snake she won't be lurking in the tree.
Not wrap in leaves or covered in clothes reveal to each other your shame.
You both have bitten from the fruit and now you can't be tame.
Now we obtain desire and have taste for meat.
This imperfect world you and I will rule beneath our feet.

I will embrace that you and I come from dirt and now we walk above It.
As I walk on the surface of this earth
I can feel all of the insignificant thing we're made of.
All the insignificant thing we're made of to become something so Important.
To become something so important to do important thing.
As I make my way through life I pretend I'm on a staircase making my way to the blue sky.
Every year is 365 steps.
Every steps I feel further and closer.
I won't stare at the ground but I will stumble and miss my footing.
That OK because it part of the journey.
I will embrace that you and I come from dirt and now we walk above it and soon ascend to the sky.

No longer will you keep me in chains
No longer will you suppress me and my nature
I am a part of you as you are a part of me
I am the creature that perch on your shoulder
I am the creature that lay both hands on you and whisper in your ear
I am the creature that can foreshadow you
The same that allow you to enjoy all your sins and bad intention
The same creature live deep in you
Once all of the white winged creature has forsaken you
I'll be their with you but not for you

Night like this I'm sitting at the table writing again
Slowly drinking but not yet drunk
This the only time I'm not fun to be around
The only time I'm not laughing or smiling while alcohol in my system
All I write are thing that a little dark or depressing
I've even wrote one were I compare myself to the moon
I was introduce to so much in a young age
I have some happy moments but not enough to counteract the negativity
Writing is the best way we all can express ourself
It's the least dangerous way I can alleviate myself
Hopefully for the ones they call broken writing can help fix themself

Today is a good day today it's bright.
My demons aren't whispering in my ears.
Nor are they placing their hand on my shoulder.
They're not even reflecting back at me in the mirror.
Not a single episode.
I think I've finally regain control.
No voices, no lies, no laughter, no possession
They all are unrelenting and have a lot to say, so after awhile I fall for their prevarication
Nothing is pulling or compelling me to feel down
As I enjoy this day and not consume in melancholy
And balance myself with joy
I'll leave the door unlock and wait for their arrival
Cause everything is temporary

I have a friend she’s long and Slim.
She loves to wrap herself only around my neck.

I have another friend who's cold to the touch.
He like to get in your head when you're weak and alone.

This one friend who have other friends, to many to count.
All they want to do is party until you are blue.
They'll put you to rest before they are gone.

My other friend she's transparent and childish.
She like play this game with the doors lock and windows rolled up then she wait until you close your eyes.


My other guy he have these intension.
He'll rob you of your oxygen and make you panic. The whole process is way over you head

My last friend is very tall and stands so high
He'll carry you on his shoulders then drop you to the ground.
Before you make contact you will regret ever doing it

Everyone is infected their is no doubt.
If you are human you have no immunity against it.
It always the same virus but always a different process.
The host's heart is attack first.
After that works it's way to the brain.
Then the rest of the body just fall victim.
The virus symptoms cloud you thought and impair your decision.
Once you acknowledge these signs let everyone know, it is contagious.
It also fill you with ecstasy or anger.
In the end it just going to hurt.
The virus can cause death but only to those who are to deep.
Or to those who feel like living is not worth it anymore.
If you are human you have no immunity against it.
The only cure is a close heart.

I don't want to keep you against you're will.
At the same time I want to keep you a little longer.
You're not obligated to spend another second with me.
Another second without aggression, show me that you care.
You are not the only one who can help but be the one who stay with me.
I hate when I have to try my best to persuade someone.
I hate after I've tried, it's all in vain and I fall into the dark
I tend to do some unnecessary thing when  I'm alone.
Every minute you linger will compel my dark thoughts away.
Your company will keep me from making contact with the surrounding walls.
Your presence will negate the curse but only for tonight.
This is something you may never know but you might save a life at this moment.

Admiration
Don't stop showing up
Don't slow down the pace
Don't relent your attention
Don't cheat on me
Don't expect much from me
Don't hurt me
Don't take this for granted
Don't think I want one thing
Don't leave me
I will die if had to look for another
Don't exaggerate
Don't expect the worse
Don't think I won't commit
Don't think I can stop loving you
--------------------------------------
               Abrasive
Don't stop committing to me
Don't get loud with me
Don't be surprise
Don't hurt me please
Don't expect much from me
Don't touch me
Don't hide
Don't block or fight back
It will only get worse
Don't let anyone know
Don't let them see the bruises
Don't run from me
Don't think you can do better
Don't think I don't love you

Waiting for me at night
Keep stalking me in the dark
Always catch you in the corner of my eye

Disappear so fast
Faster than I can turn my head
Years have past still can't understand your intension

Ready to have you expose
No more wondering tired of guessing
Never was afraid just need to know what is hiding from me

Silent and covered in black
Delusional but not out of my mind
You run from eyes and leave me in doubt but I feel your presence so I don't need my sight

Maybe I will or will not have my answers
Or you'll never be reveal to the light and haunt in the shadows some more
Just know I'm not the one hiding and  watching awhile they're asleep but
I will be the one that's up
I will be the one to face

Always waiting for the sun to rise.
Constantly waiting to know what the night have in store for me.
Only at night the days become wicked.
When it's dark out they start to haunt.
A blank paper on the table, a pen somewhere near by, and open bottles to help convince myself.
The day is always promise.
The night is full of uncertainty.
My thoughts are unstable and my soul wants to escape.
My hands wants to write another poetry to express my deepest desire.
If I fail again, in the future I may have to spin the revolver around.
Or my friend who's only warm to me when she's in use.
But right now the sun is coming up and this sad night is finally over.
I have to live another day.

Just want to let you know.
You will suffer from depression.
You can't always be happy.
Life can balance or unbalance you out.
The first time will be hard.
It will drain you, it will put you into dark places, you will lose faith and wonder if you'll return to normal.
Count it as a phase once it evanesce.
If your anything like me it will come back and this one will be the worst.
It will do things to you and make you do thing to yourself.
You may shed tears or blood.
You may lose your love or life.
You will disconnect and lose your mind.
The best thing you can do is suffer through It.
Yes you will be alone, people say they care but they don't.
They'll never understand your burdens and what drove you to this state.
Just pray 'til it thoroughly goes away.
Fake being happy and smile until it becomes genuine again.
The light is out but the belief in you isn't.
It will be frequent in your memories but no worries tell yourself it's over with.
Just remember it's part of life, part of you, then you'll truly realize what happiness really is.

Can't feel anything when I roll
Can't feel nothing when I drink
Can't feel when I'm asleep

I feel power when I roll
I feel invincible when I drink
I feel almighty when I dream

Sometimes when your will is weak or not enough. When your alone or don't want to be surrounded. All the thing in life making you feel low or not so tough. Close your eyes fold your hands and pray, take 2,4,6 or 20 shots get comfortable and lay but please don't take your life away

Come and get it
Come and let it take control
Don't worry about the world this is your top priority
I want you to know I don't go slow
Please keep the pace and match my speed
I like the taste of pineapple, honey, and pink roses
She like the taste of lollipop, dark chocolate, and a pair of dark passion fruit
We'll both take turn to get to the top
We'll both take turn to pin each other at the bottom
Ride the wave, rock the boat, I'll lift y over my head before your done
Heat and friction, motion in oceans, give me more pain for every stroke
Catch my breath, heavy sweat, just want to squeeze you tighter and tighter
Too good to quit. Too numb to feel sore
Let’s go round for round until we’re no more

Adulterer, fornicator, cheater its all in me
These sins keep me alone in life
I don't keep it a secret I always tell them about myself when I'm at this point

It's never my intentions but it's always my fault
I make sure to let them know I'll never initiate but I'll pursue
Pursue them cause they show me attention

Years of rejection and disappointment has alter my ways
Dark desires and the need of the opposite *** will always run through my mind

Animalistic personality strong endurance I have a drive that last for hours
Strong needs and taste for skin I want to claim more bodies as I can

Not asking for you to give me chances after chances nor am I asking you to stay
Just don't discriminate me and my raw behavior

I just need time and a able body to get this out my system
I need reliability and affection
A daily dose of my medicine

You'll find me unworthy and worthless of you
I am **** I've been told
But before I lose my worth I think it's worth for you to know

What do you use to help you cope?
What means of happiness help you escape from this world or this reality?
You use it so much does it still feel the same?
You feel relief but do you feel content?
Can it be something conventional like ***, extravagance, drugs, alcohol?
Or can it be something unusual like self harm, blades, toxic thinking, or blood running down your skin?
Does it help to get rid of it or block what bother you?
Or does it hurt and over power whatever is making you feel bad?
Maybe it just make you numb?
Sometimes it's temporary but is it wrong or misuse?
A lot of the times it's permanent but if it keep your demons at bay does it count as abuse?
We all need something to help us cope with this life
We all need something to make us feel right

When all is wrong and nothing feels right. You don't have to be nice but make sure to put up a fight.

When your defenses are up and your guard is a must.
In this world theirs no one you can trust.

If they don't like nothing about you and your personality is to raw.
Make them understand it's who you are and its your law.

You don't waste time, redirect pain and avoid mistakes.
No more second chances, you pre judge and stay away from the fake.

If those who don't deserve you can't wait for your decision.
Continue living for yourself will be your only mission.

You promise you'll hurt me bad but keep me in your arms.
I accept the pain and being a ******* I return it in pleasure.
Being with you I pretty much sold my soul.
A bargain that make no sense but I can see myself with you.
You can't return love properly but you can make me feel so good.
I have many reasons not to stay and many reasons to have you sent away.
My heart and mind are tightly chained so I can't leave.
I never react or get tired of the thing you do to me but sometimes I do get scared.
Can I just wrap my arms around you and make you become sane for a minute?
Can this be the day you realize that I'm not against you?
Your condition won't allow you to be happy and your anger is always taken out on me.
Just know that I'm hurting but not the one suffering.
Just know that I will die for you and because of you.

Its easy to seek help and comfort when your in need but it is hard to ask someone if they need the same thing.

Its easy to numb ourselves with drugs and alcohol but it is hard for us to be delivered from our pain.

Its easy to be lonely and keep to ourselves but it is hard to find love especially when we deserve it.

Its easy to have a bunch of people in your circle but it is hard to trust them and it is hard to keep them in your life

Its easy to forgive those who have done us harm but it is hard to get rid of those awful memories

It easy for all of us to die but it is hard for all of us to really live our lives.

You are an awesome person.
You came a long way you face a lot of obstacle.
The people you love and hate have mold you to this person that you never thought you'll ever become.

The hurtful words they use that suppose to cut and rip you apart have instead shape you into a goddess of beauty, intelligence, maternity, and consideration.

Don't ever discontinue your way don't ever let that one person rob you of who you are.
You strength will be put to the test, your intelligence and integrity will always be tried.

Acknowledge who you are, remember how far you come.
Make sure the love you receive is reciprocate by 2 fold, even to those who are unfamiliar.

Not sure what religion really is and what is the true religion.
The key to all religion is faith and to have faith is to believe. When you believe you draw strength. Believe in yourself and draw strength to continue in life. If you can't draw strength within yourself then draw strength from good friends, family, or even your children find a reason to live. Some people will believe in a better afterlife and they do good in this world and hold their smile. You don't have to believe in a god and worship an omnipotent being just believe in yourself, just believe in something, just believe in someone more than yourself.

You have no power here
Your false words we don't believe in anymore
You hurt us day by day you always win
Your hands doesn't have an ounce of strength
You stand over there looking at us while you sit and we clean
Your eyes don't carry the intensity it once had
You can't scare us with empty threats
Your alone and you can no longer claim a victim
We have over power you

I don't think I can ever wipe my mind clean of you. I don't feel as powerful cause I felt so used.
why have you left my arms for another. I don't know who took you away from this world I just stare and wonder.
I have no problem getting girl but I'm looking for the right women. I'm so depress in this world from the light I have fallen. Can't get second a chance just want the feelings to remain. If I join you in the next life will you come to my arms again.

Women get support and complement from both men and other women but we guys don't get nothing.
For every men working one, two or even three jobs, supporting their families, feeding mouths, taking care of one or more people, exhausting themselves, get no sleep, studying their *** off, who got lock up, that struggle to work, struggle to get hired, that have mental or physical disabilities,grinding any way possible, if you got a girl, if you don't got a girl, if they're gay, if you do or don't got someone in your life. It doesn't matter. I support you. You look good doing the thing you do best. If people say ugly, stupid, don't like your skin color, or reject you for something dumb, **** those people cause your not and they have nothing on.