ive been holding on for something,
far greater than what you ever felt for
me, but then again i thought you and i
would be for forever but that never happened
You've left me for someone or something or just to make yourself feel better.

Sometimes i feel like i am not allowed to be happy
that the world is beyond me
that everyone around me is acting a little funny
cause everyone seems to not be happy

Maybe I'm just a little confused
and people got me feeling a little removed
but maybe that just because I've improved
and i just wanna feel moved
by the world who is just misused.

I thought we were good
But then I let my insecurities come between me and you
You're a good man but maybe I'm not good enough for you
Maybe we are meant to collide and show the world how beautiful our love is
To only extinguish our flame to tiny bits of dust
I love you but maybe that isn't enough for you.
I dove into our love knowing I liked you more than you liked me
Maybe that's why I get so much in my head because our love for each other Isn't equal
cause mine is far greater than yours ever will be,
But then again this is all in my head and I freak out all the time
Just for you to come and love me
One last time
And leave me all over again
I just wanna know one thing though
Are we good?

its a beautiful place up here
i wish you could see it though
but you're stuck down there in the real world
and i'm glad i took my ticket to go
to visit this place above the skies
where the plants don't wither and die
where the flowers can grow and bloom forever
i really wish you could see it up here
cause its so beautiful
its like something in a dream
so please don't cry no more
cause ill visit you again
in those dreams of yours.

constantly being chained
to the memories of our exchange
is something I failed to explain
to others because it is so strange
I've come to complain
of our existence because I wish it wasn't framed
in my head where I'm constantly reminded of what we became
I'm trying to move on but like I said I'm chained.

do you really love me
i said to him
filled with hope and anxiety
i wait for him
to respond with sincerity
if only i knew his truth was not what i wished for
he broke the news and told me
no
he said no
words that refuse to process in my mind
no
two letters that broke my entire being
no
but only then did i realize that neither did i.

Every week is a long wait
Waiting to see you for at least a minute
A minute that will last forever in my memories
My memories that are now filled with you constantly
Constantly in my mind and now I have to wait again
Again to see you for what feels to be like 2 seconds
Seconds i count to see you
To see you on the weekend
The weekend where I might say I love you, baby

the fiery passion in my chest
is no longer coming from my heart
but from this complete mess
this fire is eagerly consuming me
little by little turning me into something different
something like summer turning into winter
where it becomes a little bit colder
where everything is still and almost dead
but still quite beautiful

A Ford Ranger truck has become my demise
For it has ruined my luxurious Mercedes-Benz car
a Ford Ranger truck has become something I despised
because it has ruined my life
because who drove it was the love of my life
but he left me for some other wife.

I've been put on a high pedestal
I need to stay on that high pedestal
have to show everyone how perfect I am
perfection is what I need to be
I've been put on this high pedestal
and I don't want it
I want to be able to fail
and I cant
because I am on that high pedastal
but, but
with you I feel like I can fail
I feel like I can enjoy myself and not care
Being with you is like I can finally be  
be someone with no high expectations of themselves
its like I can finally take a breath and relax
with you, my whole world stops
and I don't have to fight to be on top.

How do you now get lost in his blue eyes
They are full of mystery
Like how can you not
They are a maze
If you'll look into them
You'll get lost
And I've been in there so many times
And I haven't found an exit
There is probably a prize at the end
So how do you not
                                                        I don't get lost in his eyes anymore
                                                        Because I've been there so many times
                                                        I learned how to get out of the maze
                                                        There is no prize at the end like you think
                                                        The only thing there is honesty
                                                        Which comes with pain
                                                        His eyes told you that he never loved you
                                                        His eyes told you that you were just a
                                                        game he knew how to play

all the things that made me fall for you
were so idiotic and dumb
your idiotic smile
your idiotic laugh
your idiotic jokes
your idiotic hair
your idiotic voice
your idiotic personality that was filled with so much love
all of that made me fall idiotically in your arms
and now that you're gone, you've left an
idiotic mess behind.

I'm just tired
I'm giving up
I want to go to bed
I wanna sleep forever
I'm just tired
I don't care anymore
But I'm not tired enough
I still act like I'm fine
And if people knew I would win an oscar
For acting so **** good
I mean it's ok
I celebrate in my head thinking everything will be fine but I just keep lying to my face
And I look in ther mirror and see this misery in my eyes.
Only you knew about my dreadful tears that I would shed and my awful thoughts that would come pouring in at night.
Im tired but not enough
I wanna sleep but I won't let myself
I wanna eat but I'll starve myself
You see that's me
I'll try to fix myself but find a way to break me.
As I said im a great actress.
Im so great that I forget that I am hurting myself every **** day just because I wanna win the oscar.
I will continuously try my very hardest to win the oscar.  I will always try my hardest to keep my mask as clean and prefer as possibly.
Im just tired but I'm not tired enough.

Last night
i broke myself
and for the first time i thought that i was alright
and my bad
i held my breath for a little to long
and now I'm barley alive.
but there is still something that i wish for
to be held like ive been missed for forever
let me just stay here with you forever

With an unsettling pain I write this
Thinking of you knowing I wont be able to see you again
Please let me glance at you one last time
Lets have one last dance
Let's have one last chat
Let's have one last day together
Let me have one last happy moment with you
Let me return to the moment where I could say I love you one last time.

I really want to know
why I don't want to let go
I feel like I'm over you
but at times I cry when I think of you
I think I'm attached to wanting someone at my side
and hold me like you did that one time.
I thought I had healed from wanting to feel loved
and the sad truth is that I haven't
and maybe that's the only reason I'm hurting right now
and now I'm starting to think I didn't love you at all
so its my turn to take my bow
and say I'm sorry for all the things I've done
its my fault too that our relationship didn't last that long
but then again I believe that I'm hurting a lot more than you.

en dias que llueve
llorare menos
porque el cielo me quitarar un poco de mi tristeza
pero cuando el sol brilla aun mas
llorare todo le que me guante asta no resperirar
Porque alguien estará feliz
Y yo queriendo morir
Entonces cielo mio
Deja que las lluvias corren sobre mi
Para que la tristeza se baya de qui

Love is tragic until someone comes and changes it; until then you're stuck in a tragic place.

ive cried so many times and ive still have to dins what im crying for
the saddest wont stay away from me
i have no tears left
you know artist have to pay a price for there work to look goo
you give up happiness
at least with me
im good at drawing because ive felt every brush stroke on my canvass
every line tells a story of what i have suffered
ive cried before when i draw because i ask for help in them
but nobody seems to get the memo
maybe i am just good actress
just maybe.

i still miss you though
i am not over you like i thought
i still want you to come a hug me from behind
i want you tell me i am pretty
i still think you are a sweetheart
i still want those sweet good morning texts
i still want those eyes to be focused on me
i want you to be mine again
i still love you.

you made me miss many moments of my life
moments i cant get back
moments where i could be happy and live life
moments where i could be with my family
moments where i wouldnt have to hide
but i traded them for moments with you
moments where i felt the happiest in a long time
moments where i cried
moments i felt excited
moments where i was neglected
moments i felt safe
moments of hatred
moments i was filled with so much love
moments i should regret
but their moments i cant forget

I've held so much anger
and I've held so much sadness and pain
just with remembering
but now every time i remember your beautiful face
i happily remember the beautiful moments we had
and remember how happy you made me feel
i no longer feel bitter
im just thankful for the magical moments we had
i hope i made your just as magical as you did mine.

The buzzing of the flies
The trees moving with the endless wind
Tend to stick by my side
With a precious memory on my mind
This is summer to me most of the time.

Never shall I forget the moment we met.
Never shall I forget the good morning and I love you we would text.
Never shall I forget the details of your face.
Never shall I forget your eyes and your smile, and how many times you made me laugh.
Never shall I forget your name that will never be told from my lips again. Never Shall I forget all the beautiful moments we had together.

Never shall I forget the love we had for each other.
Never shall I forget how everything turned into memories in seconds.

Never shall I forget how you forgot me.
Never shall I forget how you treated me.
Never shall I forget when you left me drowning in the sea.

Never shall I forget how our souls were destined to hurt each other.
Never shall I forget that I don't need you.
Never shall I forget that we don't need each other

Never shall I forget that I am better without you.
Never shall I forget that I am alright without you.
Never shall I forget that I am strong.
But …. I forgot all of that as soon as our eyes met once again.

Everyday the ocean gives back
Something different,  something new
People think it is out of gratitude
But I know its not
Because every time we talk she gives me a silent plea for help.
Yall are drowning me the ocean says, so evryday I go and take what she gave back.

Dear Precious Thing,
My heart always yearns for you
and chases the feeling you ooze
but something always changes
and you leave me stranded
I strive to be with you every time
but you always leave me on a dime
I forgive and forgive
and give and give
and yet you seem to forget and forget
about how much I want to be with you.

Recurring dreams
I hate them with a passion
Recurring thoughts
oh they've become a fashion
Recurring love
that's the worst of the ration
Recurring memories
they have all of my compassion
Recurring you
needs to become a dissatisfaction
but i still have feelings for you
so they’ve become quite an attachment.

sad is an emotion too
so dont be afraid to feel it
you have to let yourself go with sadness
because sadness cures itself and becomes happiness
it may take awhile to get there but you will eventually be there in no time
so embrace because it is also sad.
and people tend forget about that
so hold it in your arms
so tightly because it will eventually leave
and it is always sad to say goodbye

Loving someone like you
was something that came out of the blue
who knew a Chick-fil-A boy
would make me full of joy
Loving someone like you
is something I never knew
but something told me it was good
like eating your favorite food
when I met him he turned bright red
I didn't even know what I said
Loving you is the best thing I could do
and I hope he loves me too.

I fell in love with him
and I couldn't stop
I was scared that this love was on a whim
but it was not
I felt that I was at the gym
since my heart raced every time I was with him
crazy isn't
the love of my life was everything to me
but I was nothing to him
and in a heartbeat he change us for something new and based on a whim
just when I believed that it could be him
the one I would love till the end of time
and forever be with the stars in the night sky.

I will strive for something better than the stars.
I will strive for a universe beyond the laws.
I will strive for something that is far
and will forever be mine from the start.