you made me miss many moments of my life
moments i cant get back
moments where i could be happy and live life
moments where i could be with my family
moments where i wouldnt have to hide
but i traded them for moments with you
moments where i felt the happiest in a long time
moments where i cried
moments i felt excited
moments where i was neglected
moments i felt safe
moments of hatred
moments i was filled with so much love
moments i should regret
but their moments i cant forget

ive been holding on for something,
far greater than what you ever felt for
me, but then again i thought you and i
would be for forever but that never happened
You've left me for someone or something or just to make yourself feel better.

Recurring dreams
I hate them with a passion
Recurring thoughts
oh they've become a fashion
Recurring love
that's the worst of the ration
Recurring memories
they have all of my compassion
Recurring you
needs to become a dissatisfaction
but i still have feelings for you
so they’ve become quite an attachment.

Last night
i broke myself
and for the first time i thought that i was alright
and my bad
i held my breath for a little to long
and now I'm barley alive.
but there is still something that i wish for
to be held like ive been missed for forever
let me just stay here with you forever

I've held so much anger
and I've held so much sadness and pain
just with remembering
but now every time i remember your beautiful face
i happily remember the beautiful moments we had
and remember how happy you made me feel
i no longer feel bitter
im just thankful for the magical moments we had
i hope i made your just as magical as you did mine.

constantly being chained
to the memories of our exchange
is something I failed to explain
to others because it is so strange
I've come to complain
of our existence because I wish it wasn't framed
in my head where I'm constantly reminded of what we became
I'm trying to move on but like I said I'm chained.

the fiery passion in my chest
is no longer coming from my heart
but from this complete mess
this fire is eagerly consuming me
little by little turning me into something different
something like summer turning into winter
where it becomes a little bit colder
where everything is still and almost dead
but still quite beautiful

all the things that made me fall for you
were so idiotic and dumb
your idiotic smile
your idiotic laugh
your idiotic jokes
your idiotic hair
your idiotic voice
your idiotic personality that was filled with so much love
all of that made me fall idiotically in your arms
and now that you're gone, you've left an
idiotic mess behind.

A Ford Ranger truck has become my demise
For it has ruined my luxurious Mercedes-Benz car
a Ford Ranger truck has become something I despised
because it has ruined my life
because who drove it was the love of my life
but he left me for some other wife.

I threw myself at your feet
while the only thing you ever did for me
was step on me in my sleep
and all i ever did for you was love you so deep.

I really want to know
why I don't want to let go
I feel like I'm over you
but at times I cry when I think of you
I think I'm attached to wanting someone at my side
and hold me like you did that one time.
I thought I had healed from wanting to feel loved
and the sad truth is that I haven't
and maybe that's the only reason I'm hurting right now
and now I'm starting to think I didn't love you at all
so its my turn to take my bow
and say I'm sorry for all the things I've done
its my fault too that our relationship didn't last that long
but then again I believe that I'm hurting a lot more than you.

Dear Precious Thing,
My heart always yearns for you
and chases the feeling you ooze
but something always changes
and you leave me stranded
I strive to be with you every time
but you always leave me on a dime
I forgive and forgive
and give and give
and yet you seem to forget and forget
about how much I want to be with you.

You say you don't want to hurt me
but you do things that say otherwise
I know what I signed up for when I agreed to be with you
I know I also signed my fate to never love anyone again
but you don't want to hurt me
and I think you hide behind that phrase like a coward
waiting in disguise
knowing you never wanted to be mine.

I fell in love with him
and I couldn't stop
I was scared that this love was on a whim
but it was not
I felt that I was at the gym
since my heart raced every time I was with him
crazy isn't
the love of my life was everything to me
but I was nothing to him
and in a heartbeat he change us for something new and based on a whim
just when I believed that it could be him
the one I would love till the end of time
and forever be with the stars in the night sky.

I thought we were good
But then I let my insecurities come between me and you
You're a good man but maybe I'm not good enough for you
Maybe we are meant to collide and show the world how beautiful our love is
To only extinguish our flame to tiny bits of dust
I love you but maybe that isn't enough for you.
I dove into our love knowing I liked you more than you liked me
Maybe that's why I get so much in my head because our love for each other Isn't equal
cause mine is far greater than yours ever will be,
But then again this is all in my head and I freak out all the time
Just for you to come and love me
One last time
And leave me all over again
I just wanna know one thing though
Are we good?

Sometimes i feel like i am not allowed to be happy
that the world is beyond me
that everyone around me is acting a little funny
cause everyone seems to not be happy

Maybe I'm just a little confused
and people got me feeling a little removed
but maybe that just because I've improved
and i just wanna feel moved
by the world who is just misused.

I've been put on a high pedestal
I need to stay on that high pedestal
have to show everyone how perfect I am
perfection is what I need to be
I've been put on this high pedestal
and I don't want it
I want to be able to fail
and I cant
because I am on that high pedastal
but, but
with you I feel like I can fail
I feel like I can enjoy myself and not care
Being with you is like I can finally be  
be someone with no high expectations of themselves
its like I can finally take a breath and relax
with you, my whole world stops
and I don't have to fight to be on top.

anxious minds
in heavy binds
timeless time passes
while I stand in ashes
knowing you have something to say
and i having to wait
in this heap of nothingness
baby don't tell me this was meaningless.

Loving someone like you
was something that came out of the blue
who knew a Chick-fil-A boy
would make me full of joy
Loving someone like you
is something I never knew
but something told me it was good
like eating your favorite food
when I met him he turned bright red
I didn't even know what I said
Loving you is the best thing I could do
and I hope he loves me too.

Every week is a long wait
Waiting to see you for at least a minute
A minute that will last forever in my memories
My memories that are now filled with you constantly
Constantly in my mind and now I have to wait again
Again to see you for what feels to be like 2 seconds
Seconds i count to see you
To see you on the weekend
The weekend where I might say I love you, baby

en dias que llueve
llorare menos
porque el cielo me quitarar un poco de mi tristeza
pero cuando el sol brilla aun mas
llorare todo le que me guante asta no resperirar
Porque alguien estará feliz
Y yo queriendo morir
Entonces cielo mio
Deja que las lluvias corren sobre mi
Para que la tristeza se baya de qui

I will strive for something better than the stars.
I will strive for a universe beyond the laws.
I will strive for something that is far
and will forever be mine from the start.

To write hate on her arms was a disgrace,
But to write hate on her legs was like an embrace,
For her legs will not be seen by the pervy eyes that reach for her soul,
Only her eyes would know,
What is underneath her clothes.

Five minutes at night
I wait for you to come home
you never come, though.

The buzzing of the flies
The trees moving with the endless wind
Tend to stick by my side
With a precious memory on my mind
This is summer to me most of the time.

Love is tragic until someone comes and changes it; until then you're stuck in a tragic place.

I wish I could text you about all the **** that's happening to me.
You're still my home
I know if i felt that then i shouldnt have left you but I did cause you are toxic and I am toxic to you
We were both in a relationship that was highly toxic for both.
So I took my turn to leave.
And now my heart yearns for you
My heart hates it but it's ok because it's better to love you when you're far away from me.

With an unsettling pain I write this
Thinking of you knowing I wont be able to see you again
Please let me glance at you one last time
Lets have one last dance
Let's have one last chat
Let's have one last day together
Let me have one last happy moment with you
Let me return to the moment where I could say I love you one last time.

I fell in love with a girl and then she told me she likes this boy.
And my heart shattered into tiny pieces but i just smiled and thought to myself i did this already with my ex i can do this with you.
it shouldnt have hurt as much but my heart knew the truth that i loved her more than him.
so when my hurt shattered with her i didnt pick up pieces because i didnt want to love again if they were all going to leave like her.

Everyday the ocean gives back
Something different,  something new
People think it is out of gratitude
But I know its not
Because every time we talk she gives me a silent plea for help.
Yall are drowning me the ocean says, so evryday I go and take what she gave back.

I'm just tired
I'm giving up
I want to go to bed
I wanna sleep forever
I'm just tired
I don't care anymore
But I'm not tired enough
I still act like I'm fine
And if people knew I would win an oscar
For acting so **** good
I mean it's ok
I celebrate in my head thinking everything will be fine but I just keep lying to my face
And I look in ther mirror and see this misery in my eyes.
Only you knew about my dreadful tears that I would shed and my awful thoughts that would come pouring in at night.
Im tired but not enough
I wanna sleep but I won't let myself
I wanna eat but I'll starve myself
You see that's me
I'll try to fix myself but find a way to break me.
As I said im a great actress.
Im so great that I forget that I am hurting myself every **** day just because I wanna win the oscar.
I will continuously try my very hardest to win the oscar.  I will always try my hardest to keep my mask as clean and prefer as possibly.
Im just tired but I'm not tired enough.

Never shall I forget the moment we met.
Never shall I forget the good morning and I love you we would text.
Never shall I forget the details of your face.
Never shall I forget your eyes and your smile, and how many times you made me laugh.
Never shall I forget your name that will never be told from my lips again. Never Shall I forget all the beautiful moments we had together.

Never shall I forget the love we had for each other.
Never shall I forget how everything turned into memories in seconds.

Never shall I forget how you forgot me.
Never shall I forget how you treated me.
Never shall I forget when you left me drowning in the sea.

Never shall I forget how our souls were destined to hurt each other.
Never shall I forget that I don't need you.
Never shall I forget that we don't need each other

Never shall I forget that I am better without you.
Never shall I forget that I am alright without you.
Never shall I forget that I am strong.
But …. I forgot all of that as soon as our eyes met once again.

the horrid evil
is someone who was so delicate and fragile
until the beautiful good came and broke him
the real evil is the man that everyone says is good
since he had cracked open evil
he let evil's ugly demons out
for all evil could do was sit there and watch until
everyone knew he was the worst thing alive
for he could not be called human for all the mistakes he had made
while the beautiful man was called good for he had no imperfections
and deep inside he hid all the horrid things he did to evil
for he started to call evil a horrid thing
and that was his new name horrid evil
the beautiful good loved being the most perfect good there was
so he wanted someone who was horrid and evil to compare him to.

that is why i broke you he told horrid evil as a tear slid down
while horrid evil just sat there in shocked
moments later beautiful good felt some arms embrace him
and at that moment he knew horrid evil was even more beautiful and good than he could ever be.
with a shaky breath he said his last words to horrid evil
and thats how horrid evil became who he was and lived up to his name.

sad is an emotion too
so dont be afraid to feel it
you have to let yourself go with sadness
because sadness cures itself and becomes happiness
it may take awhile to get there but you will eventually be there in no time
so embrace because it is also sad.
and people tend forget about that
so hold it in your arms
so tightly because it will eventually leave
and it is always sad to say goodbye

the little hope i had
has now been banished from my life
why
because you've hurt me again
on valentine's day
the worst day you could have hurt me
we argue now on every single day
no matter where we are
no matter what time it is
how are we suppose to take this any longer
i know you're hurting
but ill be selfish and say
i hurt the most today

ive cried so many times and ive still have to dins what im crying for
the saddest wont stay away from me
i have no tears left
you know artist have to pay a price for there work to look goo
you give up happiness
at least with me
im good at drawing because ive felt every brush stroke on my canvass
every line tells a story of what i have suffered
ive cried before when i draw because i ask for help in them
but nobody seems to get the memo
maybe i am just good actress
just maybe.

You're this ghost in my head
in my heart
you're everywhere
but nowhere
i constantly think of you
And i wonder if you're alright
if you're happy
or if you have found someone new
but i ended it
i shouldn't be asking these questions
you're like an unfinished chapter that i forgot to read
why cant i get over you
your like a painting that was never finished
a sentence that got interrupted and was never spoken of again
you're that person that will forever be in my head
You're my unfinished love.

The wonders of poems
I find them quite hilarious to be honest
You must think i'm crazy
I mean i use to hate poems
They were hard to understand
My mind had yet to learn the wonders and beautiful meanings behind these words
This is why i find them funny
They can mean anything
A poem is words trying to say something but in a jumble
You gotta let yourself be free with it
Cause if you think about in clean cut you will get nowhere
There messy, you got to find your way through them
Its hard but it all clicks as soon as you see them in a different perspective
There wise words these writers write poems to tell story without reading book
To show emotions without seeing them
To feel them once again
Because poems are like life
It hurts, makes you cry at times
Makes you smile
Reminds you of a long forgotten moment
Poem can be confusing and so is life
But the author chose those specific words in that certain pattern for a reason
So you just have to try and understand them as they go
Just like the harsh moments in life and the beautiful ones that come right after it.