You're alive,but you haunt me
You're alive, but you have a ghost
You're alive, but you're gone
You're alive, but you're only a memory
You're alive, but you're acting like you're dead
The only reason I acknowldege you're alive
Is because I'm dead to you

I don't want to live
However I don't want to die
I'm surrounded by abuse no matter where I go
I want to run away
Leave everybody behind and never look back
There's people I would miss
I'm tired of giving fourth chances
Hell I'm tired of giving anybody a second chance!
I'm not allowed to do anything about it
Because according to authority I'm considered minority
So I have to live with abuse
Im almost an adult but I have no idea what a happy home looks like
How am I supposed to have a family of my own
When I have no ******* idea on how to live at home
My whole life I've been shown that it's okay for a man to abuse me
It's okay to have hours and hours of housework
It's okay for mom to sleep on the couch
It's okay for my youngest sister to be trapped in her bed all day
It's okay to have anxiety and to stereotype everything
It's okay to give chances until you don't ******* care anymore!
It's totally normal to have gone to 6 schools in your life and to move every two years or less because a man makes you
It's okay for everybody to run my ******* life except for me!!!!!

Third wheeling all my friends but
Having nobody for myself
Trying hard in choir
However nobody in my family cares enough to come to the show
Trying my best to be somebody
But I'm a shadow on the wall
I'm the person who feels alone and cries in the bathroom stalls
All I want is somebody to pay attention to me
Not to be alone all the time or to feel so empty
I'm not an attention *****
I just want somebody to know I'm there
Recently I feel like nobody will ever care
I continue my days faking smiles
While going about my feelings on my own
Even when I tell people how I feel
No attention is ever shown
This draws me near the bleeding
Closer to the thought of death
Would anybody care enough to pay attention then?

The warm tears running down my face
Yet another day of my life gone to waste
What's the point in trying when I will always fail
I just want to be happy but my hearts so frail
I take everything personally I always will
Maybe its not peoples words but my emotions that ****
Maybe not seeing him drives me insane
No its my fears every fear leads to a stream of tears

Fear of him forgetting me someday
Fear he might drink his life away
Fear that I'll die alone
Always fearing the unknown

I love you please pick me up
Please don't let me drown
Please dont let me fall to the ground
Please understand how much I appreciate you
Please understand that I don't underestimate you
Please know that you are my rock,sword and shield
I'm begging you please never yield

Baby I love you
You make my life completed
Please know that you're not worthless but you're needed

You're hurting on the inside
Smiling on the outside
You love her with all your heart
But shes cheating
Shes sleeping around
Shes using you
Shes bringing you down
You're my best friend
I can see that your smile is a disguesed frown
I love you
Im here for you
Why waste your time on a girl who is a blind
A girl who doesnt love you
You deserve better than this
You deserve to be happy
Please leave her
I care about you...

How long can I fake a smile?
I care about others and put them back together when they fall apart
But I'm falling apart and nobody is there to fix me
Nobody puts me back together
I have no solid ground to stand on
I'm running out of pieces
But I always find a way to be there for others
Now when will others be there for me...

Not long ago we were smiling
Now our hearts are beating
But it's no longer for each other
We have the same circle of friends
But the distance between the two of us couldn't be bigger
You sit with music ignoring everybody we talk to
Everybody is aware of the cold shoulders you carry
We want to help you get over me
Why is this a big deal when your heart never did beat for me
We could have avoided this
If only you had treated me the way I deserved
You're angry and alone
You refuse to let anybody in
The cold shoulders are getting thicker
While your relationships are wearing thin
I want to help you
But I know you won't hear a word I say
Or acknowledge a thing I do
While you allow yourself to give the world your cold shoulders
Everybody will eventually turn their cold shoulders
Towards you

I know what I feel
What about how you feel?
I'm over here thinking of you wishing I could get a reply
What are you doing?
Is there another ******* your mind?
Am I not good enough for you?
You're amazing to me that's as clear as day
So what is it that's getting in your way?
Curiosity is actually hurting me
Everything about you consumes me
So why do I feel as if you don't care about me?
......

Fear running through me
Memories flowing through my mind
Like the tears are flowing down my face
You're yelling and throwing things out of anger again
Just like you did years ago when you lived with me
You're angry again
Upset for no reason
While I sit here scarred by your anger
Im affected by my past
While my past is caused by you
Dad please calm down
Please just breathe
Please relax
Please stop taking your anger out on me
Please stop reminding me about how broken my life is
I dont have a home
No matter where I go
There will be yelling
There will be hatred
There will be tears
There will be no love
Im alone
Surrounded by anger
But spilling tears instead of screaming words

Dear Lover,
I'm right here always and forever
There isn't anything we can't do as long as we're together
Open up your mind to me let me in
Allow me to make you whole again
If you're having problems let me help you solve them
I dont want you to go through the pain alone

Let me make you smile
Oh please let me in for the longest while
Im not going anywhere, not without you
I want to hold your hand and get you through
You won't stand in the rain or the storms alone
I'll let the water run down my face along with  yours&yours; alone

I'm not leaving your side we are in this together
And I know this to get her will last forever
I'm not letting you go I won't let you drown
Baby it breaks my heart to see you frown
Let me be your rock, your sword, and your shield
I'm your warrior and I refuse to yield

I know you're scared but let me in
Allow me to make you whole again......

Dear "stepdad",
You told me I'm nobody special
Well you're right
That's right I'm not denying it
I'm going to embrace this
You shocked?
I don't care and neither should you
Because I'm nobody special
so why would you care?
You've told me I'm worthless
That I am a piece of sh#t
Well I don't care as of today
I'm turning my back and walking away
You can try to bully me but you can't break me down
Its about time this frown turned upside down
You're nothing to me just the boyfriend of my mother
Also the father to my future brother
But to me you're just a bully and I don't care anymore
Hell I let your words get me to run out the door
But I'm back and I'm here to stay
Nothing you can say will take me away
I'm strong
I'm powerful
And I'm me
I may be nobody special
But at least I'm myself
And I'm okay with this
So now I will gladly say
Go **** yourself

Don't assume you can pick a rose without being bit by the thorns
You picked me because of my beauty
You picked me because of my aoura
You picked me because of my kindness
You picked me because of who I am
But you assumed
You assumed id be okay with whatever you did
You assumed I wouldn't mind what you said
You assumed I didnt get jealous
You assumed I trusted you 100 percent
You assumed I wouldn't speak up
You assumed I wouldn't take a stand
Well I gave you plenty of warnings
I told you to stop talking about her
I told you not to compare me to her
I told you that I don't like  the topic of her
I tried opening up but you got offended
Now you scream at me because our relationship has ended
I saw her pictures on your phone
The kissy faces
The low shirt
The blonde hair on her head being held up by her arm
The bright red lipstick
The big eyes
I saw it all
I saw enough
Then you over reacted
Then you dropped my hand
Then you got mad at me
Then you left me with your friend
Then you made me cry
And now you dare ask why?
Well don't assume that im a fragil little flower
Because I'm a woman who has power
Dont assume you can pick a rose without being bit by the thorns

Emo
**A name
A label
A title entitled to people who are misunderstood
A name given by those who will never understand
A label made by people full of ignorance
             Nobody sees past the hair and the makes up
                     They see the scars and look away
      They hear the music and "you're satanic" is all they say
They see you wear black and the word emo is what they say to attack
Emo
A name
A label
A title entitled to people who are misunderstood
A name given by those who will never understand
A label made by people full of ignorance
...Emo

You didn't do drugs
You didn't drink
You don't have a record
You graduated early
You know what you're doing with your life
You never asked for ***
You only kissed me sweetly
You love your music
You were the greatest and most respectable guy I've ever met
But you didn't love me
You never did
You never will
You left me here all alone in the dark without the thrill
You were the only guy worth keeping
You realized I'm worth leaving
You said I got too attached and it's true I did
You were so worth it to me but to you
I'm only a kid

Big green beautiful eyes
Looking into my big and blue
Looking past my eyes and peeking into my soul
Your green eyes speak to me
Especially when you're looking into me
They get brighter when you smile
They get dimmer when your on auto pilot
I'm obsessed with your eyes
They sparkle like emeralds
While mine are like diamonds
Your gaze gives me butterflies
I wonder if you even realize
I can fall in love with you
Just by looking into your green eyes
Because in your eyes
I can see the soul of yours inside
And that is where your true beauty lies
I can see your inner beauty
Just by looking into your green eyes

Im falling in love
I'm falling in hate
I'm falling in joy
I'm falling in pain
I'm falling toward the ground
But I don't know if I'm falling up
Or if I'm falling down
Some days I feel as if I'm flying up
Where the smile on my face is real and not made up
But other days I know I'm falling down
The only real question is when will I hit the ground?
With every painful word I hear I fall further
Every time I get hurt I fall further
With every "I love you" I fly up a little more
I'm guessing the "I love you" s are the reason I haven't hit the floor
However tonight is a night where I am falling down
But I will be able to sleep easy knowing tonight
Is not the night that I will hit
The ground

I'm trying to change for my family
But I'm the only one who is trying
You still tell me I'm a ***** up
You still leave me crying
I can't please any of you
No matter how hard I try
No matter what I do
I'll never ever be good enough for you
Let me end my life so that all this hatred and pain can pass on through

My heart is racing
My eyes are aching
My hands are shaking
My mind is breaking
My tears are stinging
My throat is choking
My heart is pounding
My hands are running wild
My eyes are aching mild
My mind is shattered
My tears are splattered
My throat is dry
I don't know why
I'm drowning in my jealousy
I'm drowing in my love for you
Maybe this karma attacking me too
I need you so bad
It's driving me mad
Baby don't leave me
Please choose me
Because I choose you

Goosebumps on my skin
Shivers down my spine
Coldness all around me
Madness in my mind

Forever i will hold you
Forever i will love you
Forever i will kiss you
Forever I will need you
Forever I am yours
Forever you are mine
Forever and ever until after time
Forever locked inside our eternal bliss
Forever knowing true loves kiss

I don't want to say goodnight to you
But I really don't have a choice
I hate that I can only text you
I need to hear your voice
It's that time of night where I need to rest
Just know you're im my heart and that your my boo and you're the best
Goodnight beautiful green eyes
Goodnight beautiful smile
I need to see you tomorrow
Because I haven't seen you in a while

Grey skies
Misty eyes
Thunder strikes
My heart dies
Family tears me down
Oh well fake a smile
Because I'm not allowed to frown
I fake a face towards them everyday
But when my true self appears they shove me away
I can't do this anymore
Everyday is too much
Seems like I'll forever be stuck with
Grey skies and Misty eyes

He was sorrowful
Though it was innocuous,
He looked abject anyway

I no longer feel alone
I finally feel at home
My amount of friends may be few
But at least I know their friendship is true
I no longer cry myself to sleep
I no longer have sad thoughts that are deep
I have family that I love
Thank god up above
I no longer hate my life
I no longer sense pain's knife

The heavy girls are too heavy
The skinny girls are too thin
The **** is perfect
The nerd is a try hard
The fangirl is a freak
The fanboy is gay
The goth girl is a *****
The goth boy is insane
The person who asked for help today just needed a person to talk with
But in today's society we only follow hate and gossip
That skinny girl can't gain wait
That fat girl doesn't know what to do
That **** maybe varsity but he's got problems too
The nerd is poor and wants to go to college and the only way to do that is through a scholarship
The fangirl lives in a fictional world because of the judgmental people in her own
The fanboy does the same and it doesn't matter wheather or not he is straight or gay
The goth girl isn't a ***** she just listens to her music and wears black
The goth boy isn't insane he just wants his happy life back
The person who asked for help today really did need it
But now it's too late for her and now her death has been completed
All of these people could be good or bad but you will never know that
Because in today's society we only follow hate a gossip
So the next time you see a strangers face
Go on say hi and see what they say
Some might stick their noses up and walk away
But for others a stranger being friendly just might make their day.

I'm going to Hell
Can't you see?
Can't you tell?
I'm a person full of sin
No matter the amount of goodness within
I can't win
I always lose
The Devil has found his way to tie his nous
From the gallows of Hell I will hang
For eternity replaying all of my pain

Costumes,money,power, fake identitys, and fame
These are the traits of the heros we know better by name
Batman,Thor, Iron man and more
Are here to save the day
But that's where it's wrong
For they are written and drawn
What about the heros who's names actually do belong?
The heros who leave their homes and family's
To fight for us so we can be free?
They don't know our names
Nor do they feel they need to
They go through suffering just to save you
They die and don't come back because they are not fiction they are real
The pain they feel from a bullet is truly real
They go through sleepless nights and endless days
Because that's the price our freedom pays
They volunteer and sign up for this
No mater the pain they don't give in
Not knowing their names should be a sin
Their spouses and children are home alone
Not knowing if their loved ones will return dead or alive
But the soldiers do this so we can survive
They are the real heros both men and women.
Our soldiers who have faught and died for us
Are the real heros who deserve us
They deserve our recognition and our love
So thank you soldiers for everything you have done for us.

So you tell me you can't delete me
Yet you're already flirting
You told me you can't delete me
Yet your snapchat is off of my friends
I sit here and wonder
I let my mind ponder
Three days and you're already tagging girls
Three days and a girl is tagging you
Three days and your heart has already pulled through
You're the one deleting me
I guess its my turn to delete you

If home is where your heart is then i'm out of place
My home is with the ones who love me
My home is with him
My home is causing his smile
My home is in his arms
My home is looking into his deep brown eyes
My home is hearing his laugh
My home is kissing his lips
My home is tickling his sides
My home is being with him when he cries
Our home is smiling together
Our home is holding each other in our arms
Our home is looking into each others eyes
Our home is laughing together
Our home is Kissing each others lips
Our home is tickling our sides
Our home is being together when we cry
This is home because this is where our hearts collide

How can you love me when I can mean?
How can you love me when I can cruel?
How can you love me whenI can be heartless?
How can you love me when I can be offensive?
How can you love me when I don't go outside a lot and you do?
How can you love me when I'm anti social?
How can you love me when I'm not good at talking to people?
So how is it you can love me?
How can you love somebody like me?
How is it possible you don't ask me to change?
How is it you don't ask me to be better?
It's unusual
How is it myself is good enough for you?
How is it you can see a good in me that I can't see myself?
You see a me that I've never met before
How is this so?
You look in my eyes and tell me I'm beautiful
How did this come to be?
How is it I feel that you deserve so much better and you believe there is none better than me?
How is it you came to save me?
I'm so thankful for you
I'm in love with you
For every flaw and every perfection
Thank you for loving me even when I couldn't love myself

I make mistakes yes I know
However I'm still young and not fully grown
I'm sorry I messed up
I'm sorry I fail
When you scream at me it makes me feel frail
I didn't mean to mess up
I'm sorry stop screaming!!!!
Stop threatening me because I'm not perfect
I'm human please just get over it
Alright cuss at my mom because that makes you look like such a man
You think you're so perfect? Well try it **** face step up to the plate
Take a stand without acting like a little *****
You think you can call me a worthless ******* and that I'll get over it?
You think it's okay to yell at my mom in front of me
You think I'm supposed to not make mistakes
***** PLEASE!
I'm a ******* human being
Get over it you wuss
After all you're nothing but a swearing angry ****!

I don't care if he is your brother
He's a good friend to me
While you're just an ex lover
Every time you broke me down
He would make me smile instead of frown
We aren't in a relationship
We wouldn't do that to you
Even after all the pain you've put me through
You tell me I'm pathetic and that I'm other words I refuse to say
However it's not my fault that you threw me away
I've lost friends because of you they believe the rumors you spread are true
I got thrown out of my house for you
I would have even died for you
Your brother is one of the only friends I have who still remain true
You tell me you'll hurt him if he doesn't stop talking to me
After all the things you did to hurt me how pathetic can you be?
Keep slandering my name everywhere you go
It's funny how easy it is for a lover to become a foe

If I could count every tear I've cried
They would equal the amount of stars in the sky
If I could measure all the pain I've ever felt
It would equal the amount of money ever dealt
If I could weigh all the shame I carry around
It would weigh more than the Earth in pounds
If I could count all the times I've said I wanted to die
Even if you didn't know me you'd probably cry
If I could say how many times I've been hit
Everybody would understand why the tiniest thing could make me quit
If I could measure my feelings people would leave me alone
They would all understand if only they were shown

Imagine a life
Sitting by a fireplace with the one you love
Snuggled close and completely smitten
Thinking how lucky you are to have gotten this far
Imagine playing music in front of one million people
That feeling of adrenaline, happiness, and maybe a little fear
Isn't that how you should feel with the one you hold so close?
Imagine if distance and prices were only a number
Imagine if those numbers didn't matter
The possibilities would be endless
We could live our life together as one
It's possible in the really close year that's to come
Me with you
You with me
How much happier could we be?
We would have our music
We would have each other
We'd be amazed that in such a bitter world we found each other
Imagine what a future like that would be like?
Just Imagine.
I imagine that I would be completely happy
Because I imagine my future with
you

We were best friends
We loved the same bands
We loved the same foods
We loved the same shows
We disliked the same people
We both have scars on our wrist
We held eachother while we cried
But thanks to lies our friendship died
Even after we went to warped tour
Even after our hearts broke
Even after the monster and the taco pizza
Even after the long night discussions
Even after camping in your yard
Even after the batman marathon
We haven't been friends for months
But I miss you
I wish I didn't lose you
I love you even still
When I see you I cry and you just walk by
I don't know what happened
Please tell me why
Tell me why you hate me
Tell me why you replaced me
Tell me what I did wrong
Tell me how did we fall when our friendship was so strong
I miss you
I sound like blink 182
I miss you
I miss you
We loved the nightmare before Christmas
We were Jack and Zero
I miss you
Dx

You lied to me i saw right through it
You lied to me I was even able to prove it
You think I'm stupid? That im ignorant and dont pick up the clues?
Well now take a look at who's the fool
I'm observant and I'm smart
Don't try to fool me *** don't even start

Oh you girls think you're smarter than me huh?
Go ahead call me stupid
Tell me I don't know what I'm doing
Tear me down in front of everyone
Make me cry and want to run
Well guess what
The teacher heard what you were saying
He held up my paper said "Kellie great job"
When he held up yours he yelled at you
He got mad because he couldn't even read it
And you're the star straight A student
So tell me im stupid rip me up and break me down
I don't care if you make me frown

I'm not stupid I'm intelligent in my own way
I know its true regardless what y'all say

I'm thinking about you
I'm thinking about your smile
I'm thinking about your eyes
I'm thinking about your kisses
I'm thinking about your hugs
I'm thinking about your cuddles
I'm thinking about us laying on the rug
I'm thinking about your cockiness
I'm thinking about your hands
I'm thinking about you

I'm worried about my mind
I'm worried about my feelings
I'm worried about my weight
I'm worried about my face
I'm worried about not being good enough
Im not as hot as your friends
I'm not as pretty as the other girls
I'm self conciois
I'm worried that I annoy you
I'm worried im not good enough
I'm worried im not perfect
I'm worried you won't want me in the long run
I'm worried I'll lose you

Alone in the dark with you where we can be ourselves
You put your arms around me and pull me so close that I can feel you breathing on me
I turn toward you and I can't see your smile but I know it's there
You kiss me softly and I realize there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here, right now
I kiss you back, only I kiss you harder
You slowly roll me over and tentatively climb on top
I allow this as my adrenaline starts to race as much as my heart
We are intimate and I'm more than okay with this
We don't do it all for fun
You love me and you show it more and more each day
I let every part of me show when I'm with you
You do the same...
I love you

I want the blood to flow like my tears
But I can't do it
I want to let all the pain out
But I promised I won't do it
I want to watch the blood seep out of me
But it would hurt him more
I want all the pain to come out from my core
But he would blame himself
I want to hit a vein and watch the red paint my skin
But breaking a promise to him is a sin
I want to watch the blood hit the floor
But if I do it him and I would be no more
I want to cut
But I won't

I won't because I love him
Even though he didn't tell me he loves me back tonight
I won't because I promised I wouldn't
Even though he forgot his promise last night
I won't because I don't want him out of my life
Even if at the moment he doesnt want to be in mine

No matter what happens
I can't cut tonight

I would sing you any song
I would quote any line
Just as long as I stayed on your mind
I would run any mile
Just to see you smile
A thousand tears Id cry
If I never saw your eyes
No matter the distance apart
You're always in my heart

Letting the darkness consume me
Letting go of the light
Letting myself drown in sorrow
Letting myself give up the fight
Letting the darkness reach my soul
Letting the light escape me
Letting myself sink slowly below
Letting life defeat me
Letting the darkness become one with my soul
Letting the light vanish from my mind
Letting myself sink to the fathoms below
Letting myself not fight for life
Letting life leave me alone
Finally letting everything add up
Finally letting myself go

Write a man a poem he will feel appreciated and flattered
Write a boy a poem and he will shut you down and leave you tattered
Tell a man you love him, he'll say it back with truth
Tell a boy you love him, he'll use it as a gateway to rip off your clothes
Show a man affection, He'll respect you forever
Show a boy affection and to him it will never matter
Spend your money on a man, oh wait a man doesn't want you to do that
However a boy will strip you of everything you've ever had
The difference between a man and a boy is a great one indeed
A man will cherish you forever
While a boy will take what he wants and then leave

Seeing you again is warming my heart
However it's melting my eyes
Should I be happy that you are in my life
Or should I be dodging the bullet and lock the door forever?
Maybe fate is handing me a second chance
Or maybe pain is looking for a way to dig deeper into my body and soul
Today has made me think
The thoughts are out of control
Should I take another chance?
Or should I look at the fact that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result?
Maybe...

Towards herself she was ambivalent
Because of this around others she chose to be reticent

She was feeling lament
However to hide it she kept her face as bland as cement

Evrery body looked at her and expected her to be serene and decent

when i'm mad, I swear and let it all out
when i'm sad,i say i'm going to die and that I've had enough
when i'm happy, I say nothing will bring me down because i'm tough
when i'm in love, I say I love you and that I will give you my all
All these words pour out in a free fall
When i'm mad, I scream and shout
When i'm sad, I cry in silence all alone
When i'm happy, I laugh to tears as if I haven't laughed in years
When i'm in love,which I am, I smile while my heart flies
The funny thing about all of this is that I can feel all of this in a day
As a matter of fact I feel this way at the same time almost all the time
At school I feel sad and alone
At home I feel joy, sorrow, and anger
When i'm with friends, I smile and laugh
When i'm with him, my heart sours, as if it were a bird..
These are my emotions
this is me