This chess game of ours will end in a draw  Neither a win nor a loss just a game with no outcome
Even the right moves will not always end in checkmate
But with you I’m stuck in place

We tiptop around our feelings in hopes the other will say it first but I’m to untrusting and you’re worried about change

I want to live well but I don’t think it’ll happen where I am and who I am can’t change in a day I want to get a job but there are non around me so I’m making it by off government money and my father tells me I can stay but I don’t want to live this life staying forever out of fear nothing can change

I hope you live well
That you are loved and happy
And one day when you miss me
I hope I’m somewhere there

She was beautiful
I couldn’t even look at her eyes afraid I’d stare forever if I did
I don’t know what it was that made her amazing
Plain and boring a normal person you’d never think twice about but
She was beautiful
And that was suffocating

I’m choking on my existence
Didn’t even want it in the first place
Now I’m struggling
Dealing with the consequences of being born
I just want to live
But surviving seems to be my way of life

I feel like a ghost in my own home I keep to myself even though I live here I feel out of place like I’m visiting someone for the first time
That weird thing you do on the couch were you try to not take up to much room were if your offered food you politely declined feeling like a nuisance to get the food they paid for trying to not touch anything but also clean up because even though it’s not your mess your a guest so it fine but this is my home I walk so quietly like I’d disturb the dead I know this is home so why do I feel like a stranger when it’s all I know