You broke my heart like you were use to it
I took you back trying to find the pieces of me
You came back with a grin if only I had know I was there for your humour
Weeks go by and you leave again and I was more shattered than the first time even though some part of me had realised you’d go
I guess I’m use to it
When people leave they take a piece of you with them maybe it’s so you always have a missing part of you or because that’s the trophy they collect once they finish their game who knows I don’t but I’ll move on because a part of me will always love them but I will not stay chasing my past to not see my future

I want to make friends
But it always ends in failure
From beings terrible at keeping a conversation
To being left on read
I want to expand my bubble
But that’s hard to do
When even thing I say
is just not worth your time
From lol and wbu  
To
emoji face and seen :10.30
maybe I’m just hard to talk to or I just haven’t tried enough
But I didn’t know talking to people my age was as hard as it was

I miss the smile you had when you saw the sun the way stars were the best part of the day
Talking about things you enjoyed didn’t stop at once sentence
I loved how you fell so quickly finding love in anyone how running felt
falling in the grass
Swimming in the pool
I miss the parts of me I lost growing up
I’ve falling out of love with myself

Sometimes I imagine your tongue lightly kissing my neck with your eyes the smile into my memory your name I could not whisper enough for the stars to know and the bittersweet taste of regret has made its home in my bed
agony curls its self around my bones like chains that remind me I belong to you and even if I turn into the land we stand on I will see you again.

I can’t wrap my head around my thoughts
Sometimes all I can do is think
Think like a tv with a static screen
A buzzing that won’t go away
The constant this or that
And then nothing at all like an empty house whose floorboards creek with a whisper from the wind
Sometimes I prefer nothing at all the silence
The empty streets that echo my step when I walk knowing it’s just me
But then it can be to much its hail on my roof as I toss an turn trying to get everything to stop when silence is loud
A blizzard that comes so quickly like a scream from a man with no voice to be heard
To the fly I hear buzz in the dark
I wish my silence was peaceful enough that I could sleep

I’m the one who locked myself in
But I still look outside