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2.6k · Dec 2016
26
Kara Jean Dec 2016
26
Twenty-six
What a **** mess
Kisses hugs with grubby little hands
Manners and crayons
No sleep and working
Trying to follow the chase for something we all crave
Hypocritically misbehaving
The money seems disgusting
Yet makes others smile while holding it tightly
We breed we try to succeed
What does it all mean
Beats me
I'm only twenty-six
I know nothing
Paper and pen scrape up my hand
Bruises hidden and blended in
No words of admiration or advice
Just listen to the lost and pretend to be found
Isn't that what makes the world go around
2.6k · Feb 2018
Unknown
Kara Jean Feb 2018
God’s discipline

I imagine the young girl with a Strawberry Short Cake suitcase dragging down the road

They kept saying she’s out of control,

even at six years old

Dreams kept her heart knowing

Belief destroyed by family

Now she stands empty

A belief destroyed by reality

  Her  iniquity is the grand scheme

Broken she began

Now unwritten

A dangerous grant

God pretends to know her

He wants mild, not cold

Let’s be honest,

she will always be out of hold

She will always be an unknown soul

This is the way she will always be told
2.6k · May 2016
No touching
Kara Jean May 2016
Toughness is my warm gooey love
Isolation is the only defense I've developed
I keep reminding myself this is it
My passion never existed
An urge deep frying my mind
My fingers tingling
My heart throbs
My throat suffocating
The words telling me to discontinue have melted into sweet nothings
I'm a *** drive with no destination
A complicated disastrous women
My feet turned to charcoal long ago
I haven't blink in a lifetime
My burnt sunglasses situated against my broken nose
My high waisted skirt accentuates my fate
Perfect, is a pretty ******* explicit world to create
Please no holding the insane
Back away slowly
She's always hoping to bite
Taking chunks of your pride
2.5k · May 2016
Poetfreak
Kara Jean May 2016
I remember my first time writing on here
I was nervous, scared and a tad naive
This is my stomping ground
My battling
My push to give my everything
The constant vibrant words being heard
Now a poet grave yard, deserted
I miss my poetry home
The loud boisterous words constantly being thrown
I came back
It's my dysfunctional love, all I can say to that
I feel Sentimental, never wanting to leave
There should be no reminiscing about poetfreak
Although, we stand here grieving
2.5k · May 2016
Yes please, I want more
Kara Jean May 2016
Vulnerable, is my fame
******* on my dreams
Acquaintances speculate, at my disbelief
Crucial moments,
I'll eat popcorn instead
Wasting, a life that was over spread
Blank raw abyss,
Left in loneliness
He picked me up,
Kisses
****** tension,
Consumes our bodies
His pants fall,
Pleasure pounding
Curled in a ball,
I scream
Tension built,
Release
My *******, I grip
Is it love or quality
Either way, we crave
2.5k · Jun 2016
Chin up don't cry
Kara Jean Jun 2016
Situated in self caused misery
Her choices translucent
Influenced by a life of negativety
She filled her tub with murky water
Warm, a place filled to the tip with disgrace
A bed is shelter overhead,
comfort is never enough
In this vague interpretation of what is good,
she has stiffened posture
A symptom of exposure
Revised
2.5k · Oct 2016
Instability
Kara Jean Oct 2016
I'm learning
Learning to be human
To color in the lines
To not be my emotional centered self
To be like the rest
No multy colored leggings
No braids in the middle of my head
No me
No you
Plain blue jeans

To bad...

I'm failing.....

No one seems to be able to change my crazy

I sit still in anticipation of another try

Still....

I sit with a satisfied mind of who I am meant to be

Instability

It helps me sleep at night

I am a mess

It will be my accomplishment if today ends
2.5k · May 2016
I'm a role model
Kara Jean May 2016
Party like a rock star
Pretend to be elegant and wear sundresses
Remember to smile and wave at the desperate housewives, I choose to offend
I'm inconsiderate
My charismatic side makes up for everything
So ******* a kiss and flirtatious wink
I will ignore the fact you have a plastic grin
I hate to say it, love you're not my friend
Hey, don't worry I will do this again
Contaminated, I hope to infect the ticky-tack world
Please don't vanquish my plot of sin
Don't forget to bring a bikini (optional) and gallon of whiskey
Revised
Kara Jean May 2016
"I ****** less", she said grabbing her lacey dress.
Her contrary dignity intact as she takes a sip of whiskey.
Walking out the door becoming the prominent mother everyone adores.
*** addict, she ignores.
No one sees the double life she hides so well.
Between the sheets of Monogamy and lustry gratification.
Her heart beats wildly out of control making her want to feed.
Possibly disfunctional programming involved.
She feels no need to anguish in the games she plays.
Love is where her happiness is.
*** is where her gut resides.
Kara Jean Jun 2016
His heart a setting desire
A holy man on fire
The ashes from his clothes hover overhead
Tarnished dry rain attached to eyelids
Blinding the ones admiring
He could've been loved
His demons were not friends
A lighter was no different
He screams in tortured relief
His body empty caressing the ground
A entity formed through headaches and torn garments
His need for her was never finished
2.4k · Jul 2016
Dessert never tasted so good
Kara Jean Jul 2016
I used an abundance of bronzer to attain that warming look
To bad, I'm see through
My pale dead cold blue glistens for you
You wanted me selfishly
I seen your tendencies shining
You were always better at dining
You never existed
The only evidence is a ripped up shirt,
covered in blue frosting
2.3k · Jul 2016
Young life
Kara Jean Jul 2016
The freshes essence let's off a scent
A fragrance bold and fearless
Dumb and numb
Hopes higher then an egos design
Hold your breath
Here they come
A backpack harnessed snuggly, full of broken dreams and low self esteem
A misplaced jaw and no bra
They may look unfit
Don't be mistaken
The world is for the taking
2.3k · Jun 2016
The Sweet Christian Girl
Kara Jean Jun 2016
From the moment I took a breathe,
I was thrown into a narrow way of life.
Unfair way of thinking.
Stunting my progression.
I had to be the perfect little Mormon girl.
"Stand up straight.
Talk like a young lady."
I couldn't express my individuallaity.
Ironically the way god made me.
The words dug in deep perpetually.
"Your eyeliner is to deep you look like a harlet.
What the hell are you wearing?"
I dressed to **** and **** meant ***.
*** made you a deformed unbloomed flower unless you were married.
I was misinformed constantly.
I didn't want to go to hell I wanted my family to support me.
I put on show for far to long trying to please everybody.
I couldn't understand why something so true and great could bring nothing but shame and misery.
I gave my everything and it was killing me.
I was drove to the fine line of insanity.
Free falling down so beautifully.
Finding myself in an erratic deranged way.
No longer following any man into the ground.
Keeping the firm heart within me.
2.3k · Feb 2018
No autographs today
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I don't get impressed much
Pompous air
I am prepared
Introvert with no care
I disposed of rationality  
I am red hair of despair
A soul wrapped in profanity  
I digress quite often
Please no applause then
Watch the show
I am the soul of insanity and you answered me
2.3k · Aug 2016
I can't sleep
Kara Jean Aug 2016
I feel night whispering  
My hot bath looses it's heat slowly
My tea waits patiently
I can't sleep
There is nothing more I need, only rest
My spirit won't let me
I hear it's whining
A toddler in full tantrum yelling, "I'm hungry, feed me"
There is no food to satisfy the hunger
It still wants everything  
Taming the feast
A tug of war with my spirit and rationality  
Circumstances are an excuse
I'm to tired to argue
Please god, let me sleep
I will try to have courage in the morning
Tonight let me be
2.2k · May 2016
Combining
Kara Jean May 2016
My configuration is accelerating
Off balance with the earth's core
Dissatisfied, I try to be still
My form is hyper and energetic
Loud and obnoxious
Mistaken and exaggerated for being cruel
I only seek to harness similarities
To stand grandly, instead I appear egotistical with low self-esteem
Contradicting, no way to make sense
This is a normal place
Disconnected, I try to behave
Social skill are at low percentage
Sitting, I embrace the heckling
one hand on heart and the other on mind,
In hopes to intertwine
Take control, define the soul
Combine me into a whole
Let standards go
Carrying a presence of a mild wind breeze
Never nearing nor ending
2.2k · Oct 2016
Just something to say
Kara Jean Oct 2016
I seem to make a mess even when trying to be my best

I wear that sweater covered in feelings

The thing we're programmed to receive

Respect is never given to the hurt


pretty disgusting


Never, a word death is kissing

Karma will eat your soul

I guess that's the goal,


when you have nothing

I wish to walk away from the plenty

Only to be something


For a nobody

who loves me
2.2k · Jul 2016
Awake
Kara Jean Jul 2016
A ceaseless compulsion
Memorizing every mark and story you tell
My destructive ways
Playing the game destroying your name
Starving
Cutting
Burning
Anyway to create more pain
Here you stand striking and majestic
You walked away resilient
Disfigured to society
I only see grace
Every mark encompassing you resembles strength
I now respect myself
We are binded together boundless through intertwined life
Our infinite form
My spirit and body
Combine as one

I promise to love
This is about my battle with eating disorders and depression. I was able to defeat my demons. I still struggle but I'm stronger than I once was.
2.2k · Dec 2016
Cold and Broke
Kara Jean Dec 2016
She thought she had it;
Significance

Muddy dress, an outfit depressed

The sunshine blinds

A use for her view

Then realistic features come walking in

Scolded shoulders tower over

Her fishnets and black lipstick hide her
mildewed heart

She fights

Fighting submerged her feelings

Numbing the pain she became hate

Hate became her soul

A control

A defense

A way to save her from death

To bad the devil has a toll

A fee

He envies ugly
2.2k · Jun 2016
A beautiful drive
Kara Jean Jun 2016
The wheel clinched tight

Fingers numb and white

Hyperventilating

Counting to ten

Anxieties curse

Mind, a devine quality

Over....
Thinking

A flash of death as her passengers lay lifeless

Death

She pictures faces

A ****** mess

Stillness

Everyone sits singing and unblemished

A true definition of mangled point of view

A routine her mind has provided

Someone else hits the petal accelerating

She is familiar with picturing the world dying

She is now stamped with, "I'm part of the ****** up society"

Stay clear

She is endearing

The tea cup world believes she is dangerous
2.2k · Jul 2016
Not tonight
Kara Jean Jul 2016
I take a deep breath
I feel the deep heat hug my torso
He loves me like an ****** on the front patio
It's coming, that sense of hazy
He brushes the hair off my cheeks
Kissing me
My heart beats
I am power
He is lust
We push for trust
Settling with love
Our time is surrendering
So let's keep *******
Until night is bright and we're to tired to fight
The presence of our auras is frightening
I keep biting
We're ****** into dying but the rush is exciting
2.1k · Sep 2016
Mr. Right
Kara Jean Sep 2016
I Sit with a grin
You like to pretend
Everyone says shine what's in
To bad my personality didn't get the hint
"Give me something baby"
Well, I guess you were meant to **** me empty
Personality isn't happy
Please be a real thing, not a dumb in between somebody
You and that half *** aura said no
That yells don't
Actions scream, "I'm depleted and faking"
Kind of like a satisfying ****
There is a fake sense of norm, causing the lonely and a rubbed raw feeling
Wait you seem almighty
OK
I'll give you a piece of crazy
Have a nice night, "Mr. ******* right"
I don't play the clingy scene
I like my life left clean
Read me
Leave
Kara Jean May 2016
I garden naked
When one does not comprehend the places you've been,
Ignorant they name your path
Twisted facade, let's fornicate the law
Switch our curfew
Night is dark
Deep cryptic essence
Let no man take the massive ego, hiding in your stilettos
The ridge of the heel crushing the victimized windpipe
Polish and clean
Sparkling
Almost brand new
Steady, walk in progress
2.1k · Sep 2017
Hard to find
Kara Jean Sep 2017
I've held it up
Born to be tough
I suppose not enough love
I was trained to never give my energy
Now I stand unbold
My story was written
Do I give in
Instead I drink all night
Smash the cake
Take what is mine
Cry once a day and walk away
I'm hard to find
So keep me in mind
2.1k · Sep 2016
Once upon a time
Kara Jean Sep 2016
Our hearts crave one another
Our love is insane
I don't want our vain personalities communicating
I just want the pureness in us
Wishes are ******* and so is love
Keep close to me and we will hold hands in make belief
Goodbye to the negativity
New is scary but so is not breathing
Forgive me in this mess surrounding me
I once believed in happy endings
2.1k · May 2016
My excuse is reliable
Kara Jean May 2016
Late night seems to be my favorite place
I promise to behave
I'm not going to lie, the meaning has clouded clarity
I can't help the words I speak, they come out before I think
I keep telling myself I was born interesting for a reason
You guessed it, Barney Manners never worked for me
To be honest, I'm only capable of being Kara Jean and she is ******* amazing
2.1k · Jul 2016
My head hurts
Kara Jean Jul 2016
Head feeling crushed
Frustration is an acquaintance
The questions seem to accumulate
Like roaches living under debri
You'll never get rid of their presence
You'll also never have that epiphany
To be blunt I don't think he likes me
Stuck in the middle section
Smashed into my seat
There really is no relief, just stupidity
My breath is panicking
Someone please track down my sanity


I'm in need
2.0k · Aug 2016
Just a thought
Kara Jean Aug 2016
Average seems kind of demeaning in the new make belief history
Born to be different in a normal structure
I pray to God people encourage the different hospitality
Seeing people like me
The rebellious living
The compassion rolled perfectly upon their sleeves
Forgive our wanting
We have potential
The insecure eat it all
Leaving us lifeless
Battered and wondering
We can be more than a drunken dream
A disaster of strategic possibilities
2.0k · Sep 2016
Simple
Kara Jean Sep 2016
Stop fighting your story
Life is meant to be
Complex is our punishment for not listening
2.0k · Jun 2016
A choked belief
Kara Jean Jun 2016
u love and hate my being
A persona of tainted goods
Everything you've ever seen expresses an opinion against me
Sincerety is killing
No longer renewed
Broken is where we all need to be
Confused is full of beautiful possibilities
The "new population" is exciting
Circles are blinding
Keep being you
Kara Jean Apr 2016
Touch a rush
Floral green trim
A dress of deceit
Ferocious credibility
Strike, shock and distraught
Question her everything
A maddening cluttered up chest  
Red unprinted marking
She is a tempus tip toeing
Digesting hearts of many
Warned, they crawl
Enthralled, lurking for her gore
Her dress tore in natural beauty  
Cleaning syrup from her finger tips
2.0k · Jun 2016
Kara Jean
Kara Jean Jun 2016
She is obscene, ******* inbetween
I shouldn't haven't to explain what that means  
Only a handleful don't find her scary and overwelming
Ok so I'm letting the angry apple flavoring do all the writing
Who is really listening, honestly  
This psychotic chick will always be the one and only
Sorry if you were expecting me to sing
I suppose this was not enough
Oh well I'll keep sipping while you're guesstimating the measures you should be taking
Here's a secret, I mentally teeter totter unstably
So does the rest of poetfreak
Let's start a toast and forward the drinking
2.0k · May 2016
A torturous bride
Kara Jean May 2016
A breath, she breathes
Word she can not seek
An ache she craves
A hand grips her hips
A brush of her golden strawberry hair
His soft lips and rough hands against her skin
Broken satisfied nights
Addiction to the completed whole in her half binding
A contradicting wild beauty
Hold her hand tight
The howls scream for her return
2.0k · Jun 2016
Drinks are on me
Kara Jean Jun 2016
Unstable lacks a label
Oh wait, that's why they call me overfocused A.D.D
Silly me forgetting my birthright proclaimed
To be realistic I'm tranquil, when I hold still
I love me and my oddities
I embrace those who are the same
We have enough normality
We need finesse rotating our gravity,
shifting different pockets of energy
Everyday we should be celebrating our individuality
Not moping
Not to mention mini parties are exciting
2.0k · Jun 2016
Grandma says Hi
Kara Jean Jun 2016
The phone ringed, I gazed at the screen.
I had never seen the number before.
Baffled, I handed it over to my handsome husband.
"Answer it," shoving it towards his head.
He hurried and said "hello, who is calling."
He looked at me blank and weirdly saying "I will grab her. Wait briefly."
His eyes blazed into me, "it's your grandma."
Shaken, I said, "Hello."
She did a joyful, "hello Kara Jean."
Determined to figure out what was happening.
I proudly said, " you must have the wrong number both my grandmas are dead."
She replied "I'm so sorry what a coincidence.
My granddaughter is also Kara Jean.
I swear we've been here once before."
Giggling I commented, "that's remarkably crazy. I'm not remembering."
Silence hit the air.
The old cracked voice women said, "or maybe it's just your grandma calling from heaven to tell you she loves you."  
My throat being choked nothing would really be announced.
Finally my voice complied, " What did you just say I'm not comprehending."  
An earth shattering laugh went over the phone, "You sound pretty amazing.
I know if you were my grand baby,
I would be proud to be graced by you."
Words failed me being a first.
Before I could get it together enough to say what the hell is happening.
She exclaimed hastily,
"I must be on my way, "know your grandmas undeniably love you."
Click went the phone gone with no trace.
Uncontrollable tears gushing out of my face.
Reacting as if everything was falling away from my body.
Was I hallucinating.
Could someone been playing a cruel joke?
Who would have the audacity.
Considering, could it have truly been a toll free call from heaven.
1.9k · Jun 2016
The tub
Kara Jean Jun 2016
I sit in the steaming hot water naked and vulnerable, both mentally and physically  to blemishes accumulated on me.
The mental thoughts race back and forth between  my eyes playing and rewinding  back through mistakes I have made.
Remembering the wrong paths that dramatically  changed my history.
As the water rises I feel the anxiety inside my chest making me hyperventilate profusely.
I close my eyes plunging my face into the water, feeling my hair floating over me.
Staying under as I feel the anguish of the misconceptions of my life fall off of me.
coming up as if awakening from the dead, while ceaselessly  stepping out of the ***** water leaving it behind.
I peer into the mirror inhaling the air surrounding.
Slowly wrapping my arms tightly around my body, letting the women in the mirror know I except her.
Telling her I will always love and fight for her.
1.9k · Feb 2018
We shall be brave
Kara Jean Feb 2018
Fake
A world prewritten
She planned on being unscripted
Her world is now unpredicted
She still knows someone else is in control
Depicted
Still a hope of making her own decisions
Yet there is nothing told
Destination unfolds
Still not powerless
She radiates greatness in a self-consciousness way
Expectance is decayed
Now only false hope and a piece of paper save the day
1.8k · May 2016
A breeze
Kara Jean May 2016
The wind rumbles, persuading
The dry sand encrusted sky shines
Redirecting with force the human path
The empowered rage as trash and tree branches pass by
The wind hears to no laws only the torn
A breath of a savage
Alluring destruction
I put my hands out wide, my clothes blowing high
My eyes concealed
The strong breeze shoves my hips and arms in different positions  
An outcome is all I ask to reach
Listening to my request the wind has no remorsing
No conditioning, only thrusting
1.8k · May 2016
Brain stewed up mush
Kara Jean May 2016
Parts of thoughts, chopped into slivers
Run, **** and, scream
Be a disappointment
My judgment
Steaming hot bath
A week completed
Still considered a journey
When nothingness is fulfilling
1.8k · Jan 2018
She is more
Kara Jean Jan 2018
The throne she called home
His manipulative love
The legacy devided
Her life as red as wine
Her inner secrets confined
She is a mistaken flaw with no cause
She is the ugly in refined
She is undecided  
She is unwanted
The woman with no weakness
Her guidance is useless
She is the devils spawn
Kara Jean May 2016
She was electric in hot pink heels
That's why he ******* hated her
Her tight black pencil skirt helped her to prevail  
His ego a morsel in comparison to her priorities
Once a love now devoured
A misery deserved
He was a mistake in the making
Confidence she held to a high society
He was a risk never worth taking
Love is a disgust, as he held her hand in front of a judge
He took a life time opportunity for granted
Her strong will had excelled planning
His ugly button up shirt and shiney shoes is all he has left
Dismantled, his pride is nonexistent  
She a constant certanty
Walking with narccism pink arched bow ties, she has no reason to cry
1.8k · Sep 2016
You and me
Kara Jean Sep 2016
Me

A human with needs

Hunger,
Lust and love

None will fill the void instigating justification

Insignificant, comes out as pride

Fix your jaw line and become one with life

We have a Long time of unexpected rides
#PCSeptember2016MeAndOthers
1.7k · Oct 2016
A will
Kara Jean Oct 2016
She ripped off the layers
She gave into fate, some would say is brave
Others believe it to be immature, early grave
She closes her eyes, letting go of hate
Feet bruised and blistering, have no hold
A destination untold
Connected to heart and soul
She will make it on her own
Kara Jean Jan 2017
Strength is interpreted wrong in the thought procces of the ones who feel weak
In actuality we should be embracing the unique
Thank god for what we see
Forgive ourselves for the guilt stuck inside our bodies
We have a  fire built deep for a reason
A purpose alluring
Everyone is looking for that belief
I just follow the energy
It seems to always be calling
Spoken word never seemed so bleak
1.7k · Jul 2016
Words I can see
Kara Jean Jul 2016
I hurt

I bleed

I am a human being

I sometimes sit in a hot bath and cry

I feel words that speak

Speak wisdom and individuality

Others find my personality embarrassing

There is a select few who will see more to you

Your glory

Your strength

Your humanity


Those are the ones you should love dearly

Let go of those who want to hate because their insecurities taught them to fear

They need to conquer their own journey

If they win maybe they will gravitate back and you can start over once again

Until then you need to find your own path and let go of them

It is not selfishness but the right to find the direction you were meant to see

You are a human being
1.6k · May 2016
No is not in my vocabulary
Kara Jean May 2016
I agree, writing my eating soul is not enough
Metaphors I spill, only my head interprets
I should give up, but my soul won't say yes
Instead, I yell obscenities and keep writing
I won't cry if you choose to tell me the truth
Go ahead and scream ******* Kara Jean
1.6k · Jul 2016
Charcoal
Kara Jean Jul 2016
The moment I feel it
The point I've figured it out
Seconds away from being a whole
A mind in control
The walls,
The house,
My world
begins to sweat
Melting
Swelling
My heart feels irony in my soul dying
I run frantically
There's still time everyday
We scream and pray
Fixated on a break
To bad it's on fire
Others envy as you rise higher
If only they knew your heart was tired
Self-worth never acquired
Still we run
The winding path kissing your morning breath
Progress
Nothing changes
Time to admit
Your heart finally turned to charcoal
The darkness has no forgiveness
Somewhere in the middle section
Helpless
With a world full of alcohol, tears and desires
No one notice you were a crier
You sit in loneliness
Proving you're a ******* fighter
There is still life in the smoldering soul
One day the run won't be so tiring and old
Hope or bitterness hits and you die in emptiness
Cleanse me in a chlorine pool
My white dress floats
Eleganntly holding my figure together as my skin burns off
God screams
No one hears
I sit in a universe I only see
Mother Earth stop haunting me
A dream form made to torment her
Today we lay no longer breathing
Free is still currently a lie we put into our speech
I lay lifeless in a straight jacket built upon fear
1.6k · Sep 2016
Life under investigation
Kara Jean Sep 2016
Perfect is a word created by media
A creation of insecurity to make you pay
Learn to disobey and break the **** away
1.6k · Sep 2016
We drink
Kara Jean Sep 2016
I have no history and I have no past
This passion will never last
So hand me the wine glass
1.6k · Aug 2016
Here we come
Kara Jean Aug 2016
Disaster is ugly and disgusting
Causing misery and chaos screaming
Out of dull, green rises singing
Beauty from destruction
I become one with the broken tons
We have animosity sprouting
The generation of new beginnings
We are the solution
Problem solving through chaos impact
We are problematic fact
We are the next impact
A world accepting of human beings
We can be something
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