Take my silence one step too far
Take my violence and tear me apart
Your words are the cure I need
Your love is where my heart will feed

Indiscriminate demons fill my head
They try to tie my to my bed

The flame in my heart
                              is a smoulder
The only blame falls
                            on my shoulders

Help me find my way out
My eyes show only doubt
Help me find my way out
My eyes show only doubt

I'm pushing back the battle lines
Trying to capture all the lost time
This is just a forlorn endeavor
Forever severed whenever I fall

Help me find my way out
My eyes show only doubt
Help me find my way out
My eyes show only doubt

The flame
is a smoulder
The blame
on my shoulders
I don't surrender
I don't surrender
I don't surrender
I DON'T SURRENDER

Help me find my way out
I don't surrender
My eyes show only doubt
I don't surrender
Help me find my way out
I don't surrender
My eyes show only doubt
*I don't surrender

What lesson do our children learn
when watching children
****** children in their classrooms
what value do we give their education
when seperating best friends forever
by filling one heart with grief
and putting the other one in its early grave
what child needs to know
the weight and velocity
of the bullets that tore
their once safe world apart

how many tears will it take
to drown out the greed
that allows the trigger of the gun
to be in such an easy place to reach
and the moment of silence has had its turn
and though it may have brought
some small comfort
it did not take the pain away

now we must raise our voices
for the dead
we must raise our voices
for those who have not yet died
we must raise our voices
and we must be loud
louder than the money exchanging hands
louder than the bullets and the bangs
and louder than the rat-a-tat-tat
machine guns song

its more than a matter of safety or control
its the value of the education
we too often forget
forget to teach
forget to remember
forget to live by
the education of kindness
the value of generosity
the need of empathy
the lesson and the gift of love

that we are all the same
no matter our birthplace
no matter what flag we sleep under
no matter what name we whisper
when we offer our prayers
and our hopes
we are all the same
we all live in the same house
no matter how many walls divide us
no matter the mountains between us
no matter the oceans that separate us

we are all in one house
and we are all connected
by the one thing
the only thing
we need to both give
and to receive  
the lesson and the gift of love

let us teach this first
before anything else
because without it
the education we give our children
will continue to be washed away
with the lives of all the children
that we fail to save

First love
My mom is a seismologist,
Knowing my heart is a plate, placed in core of my soul,
When I had a crash, my world cracked disaster,
She noticed a fall in my Epicenter,
Love grasped me with both nailed hands, bleeding
Believing.

There has always been you
There has always been me
There has always been us

Every smile is
Every tear is hidden behind a Band-Aid heart

upset tummy after a night of liquor
while I stayed in, unable to eat, getting sicker -
I can't hold down a bite,
my stomach won't have mercy on me.
Dry heaves,
wet tears
and a bed I wish wasn't empty.
it's night like these
I wish for my mother's womb -
a warm, dark place fit for the likes of me.

I don't know what I'm doing,
but it feels a lot like drowning.
being with someone
can feel scarily like -
you're holding your own hand.


I fear the morning,
because I'm afraid you'll leave in the night.
(That's how they all go.)

Bluer than the azure sky
Staring into a star
Seeing the beauty of us
Reflected in beautiful
Eyes Like Water*

Cherie Nolan© 2016