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May 2021 · 100
Kara Jean May 2021
I'm aware of distance I enforced on my heart
My throat chose to hold in the pain
I am not the same
I smile, my eyes show the fear
My body screams, "get up!"
The rest of me doesn't hear
Your last words were,  "be brave"
Instead I sit here and cry in my cave
The things I want to accomplish just remind me you're not here
"Dad if your listening I'm not ok, atleast not today"
Apr 2021 · 382
Keep trying
Kara Jean Apr 2021
She tilts her head in the mirror
Her eye spark is near
Hell let's her know they own that glowing soul
She holds her chin up, "to bad I'm unattainable"
Dec 2020 · 85
Demented and calming
Kara Jean Dec 2020
A demented hippie queen
The flowery thornes deeply wraps her torso,
she bleeds
She rubs it in the stained dress stepping so elegantly
Smirking at the roses nip
Sipping her tea nonchalantly,
The universe continuing to breathe
She knows the world is unforgiving
There is no return course
She rides her dark horse
The full moon guides her as she treads blindly,
hoping to find her a place to be free
Nov 2020 · 66
Thoughts that came to me
Kara Jean Nov 2020
Change with the weather
Let the season be your guide
With every storm comes light
The rain cloud brings in new life, feeding the wildflowers hight
Our soul is the flower seed, let it believe
I breathe in my strength of femininity letting my leaves be the light
Sep 2020 · 483
The river knows me
Kara Jean Sep 2020
The rivers knows me,
an aspiration with pain thrown in

She wants to exist
Feeding the wild, rapidly free

Man has his own fate
He takes her rights

She fights,
soaking up every drop from the sky

He needs to feed the envy

She has dry tears in her muddy puddle up fear

Mocked by the image of life,
she had once thrived
The world turns an eye in disgust

Her only objective was to nourish and love
Jan 2020 · 263
Her words
Kara Jean Jan 2020
The anguish has no reply
Deceit is lovely in a one story line
Her misery is the climb
Her doubt is the rhyme
Jan 2020 · 717
Heels and Coffee
Kara Jean Jan 2020
Unaware blank stares
A smile while crying
A whirlwind of great
The broken taste
Her mascara holds in the shame
Her tempterment seems tamed
One more claim as she feeds the beast
She puts on her pink and mom Jean's
"Good morning, here's breakfast and tea"
Love of the mundane
The wild nature is plain
Jan 2020 · 116
Abstract Personality
Kara Jean Jan 2020
Purple dew in her hair casting hues of memories
Fair skinned with a wanna be tan
Standing still, amused by her humility
Candid personality in her hands
A mom without a plan
Compassion sits on her ripped Jean's and tugs at her plain tee
Love's sweet
Time is ugly
Dec 2019 · 156
Two in the morning
Kara Jean Dec 2019
My soul was hanging on his wine glass
He smirked as he grabbed my ***
One night of secret and lies between my thighs
I smiled as I looked into his eyes
Betrayal was my guide
My heart cried
He held my chin and whispered, "let's do it again"
My self doubt was in
Oct 2019 · 254
Dusk in the middle of day
Kara Jean Oct 2019
I love the dark distance breeze.
I picture it swaying me with the trees,
My feet dangling beneath me.
My hair is darkened like my soul.
Hell is waiting for my fury.
Jun 2019 · 271
Kara Jean Jun 2019
Her morphed view took her heart
Shot her mind
Eyes hold the fear of defeat
Bipolar is a deadbeat and I hold all of this inside of me
May 2019 · 285
Just a sob story
Kara Jean May 2019
I am fixated, fascinated with my death
The chilled breath as I enter hell
The twigs snapping under my bare feet as I sweep past the trees
The innocence drained as I hang

The pass hasn't always been that bad
My future ran cold
Death is my best friend
We have late night dinner dates, reminiscing on my mistakes

I know how to die
Living is untried
I may have to see where I end up tonight
May 2019 · 375
Cheers to my defeat
Kara Jean May 2019
The deeper I go the cheaper my soul
I feel the suffication of my existence setting in
How easy it is to hide
No one gives a **** about your cries
Jesus blessed my sin, I'm just hell bent
Here's to the broken life again
Mar 2019 · 442
The devil is here tonight
Kara Jean Mar 2019
His depths are following
His sins are hollowing
His features are detering like a good horror feature
He comes in with regrets
He is a leaders of, "let's"
He has no conciouse
No sense , just enthusiasm and a great suit
We all love to follow and say, "it's totally ok"
He is your dismay
We counter it with our fake great
Now let's pray
Rain will prevent the decay
God will know,
you like the delay
Dec 2018 · 348
Kara Jean Dec 2018
I could finally conform
Let it set in
The medicine taking hold
Having that big grin
Fake and thin, that's the win

"just mold"
"Fit in"

Lifeless no statement of boldness
Only coldness

Finally one win
Oct 2018 · 387
Crazy Bitch
Kara Jean Oct 2018
Sanity is thin

Surrendering like a dead fish trying to swim

A sold soul long ago, for nicotine and a guy who can't sing

Bursted dreams, mentally obscene

Standing on the ledge of a predestined date, coming to terms with the urge of free falling into fate

Death seems ok when your cards are out played

Her demon green eyes staring up into the sky

The river seems pretty high

A lifeless crazy ***** in her death bed

God cries, "why"

The devil smiles, "not to night, we have one last fight"
Kara Jean Jun 2018
I grew my hair long, that's what you're suppose to do when your blonde
I am antispation gone wrong
I have a plan it is not glad, instead we get sad
Nothing sealing
Nothing concealed, we have a plan
I went cold, no one knows
Would you like more cries with, "do what you're told"
The night is blind and I'm unkind, let's makes one more feast,
I can pretend to be happy
Relax, there is no ending
Jun 2018 · 529
Memoirs of a drunk girl
Kara Jean Jun 2018
You're sickening, kisses like  cyanide

I hide, from a world guesstimating

A potentional of none

The different is done

Procrastination is fun

Imagination is hung

Ticky tack in our lack, it's to late to go back

Steadily we stand, no need to navigate

I won't hesitate

The mundane has won
May 2018 · 407
Kara Jean May 2018
Born indebted
Pretty and inconspicuous,
bullheaded woman

"Be petite"
"Be sweet"

Mormonism imbedded
Background created, disfigured with no accountability
They proclaim, "we have humility"

Here she comes, the one who is done
A demon who has just begun
A fallen angel with its halo still hung

Not a threat, only desolate
Pink dress is a signature for a distinguished mess
A force of reconstruction

A taste of death
Nothing else left
The master of her hell
She will prevail
God confessed
May 2018 · 374
Kara Jean May 2018
Victim of circumstances
The past, she glances
A mirror of nightmares she can't take
The edges are unstable
Standing on a table, mangled
A bladed cycle never claimed
Her feral heart breaks
Her soul lays in a ash tray
God has no shame
She reconciles
A chance for denial
Her fire is fame
Wiping her vane tears,
announcing her fears with a smile
May 2018 · 510
I brought fine wine
Kara Jean May 2018
I died
You shoved my head down and I won't fight
You needed my heighth
I needed your plenty,
we sit still empty
A world of more, although we feel poor
We hit that Whammy
Thank God the devil is cunning
No possession just an impression
I'm a point away from saying, "ok you can have it your way"
Tonight I breathe tight and sleep with one eye
Cheers to my fright
I am always prepared for that last bite
May 2018 · 270
No thanks
Kara Jean May 2018
Anxiety kisses me
I have a need to retreat,
instead I give in
I blend into a world I don't believe in

He has nice eye brows
She sweats transgressions
Make believe is kind of my thing
**** me,
**** me over
I detach easily,
there is no gain
Would you like a large fry with my pain

I have a head filled with old angst
Angst that seems to gravitate
Walk by me,  I am today
I dissipate like rain,
noticeable but nothing to gain

Happiness is the chase  
We have no frames, no imprints
An unnoticeable fame

I have a crayon crown stained
No presents
I can't be tamed
I combined two of my old poems and more.
Mar 2018 · 281
Feeling Elegant Tonight
Kara Jean Mar 2018
Daily digression helps my digestion
I travel farther down this crazed obscurity I'm a madman dressed in pink
I preferred structure,
sadly it didn't like me
I color outside the lines oh so eloquently
My invitation is divine
Stipulations, no touching
I apologize
I'm not sharing my wine,
only my insecurities
Mar 2018 · 1.1k
Kara Jean Mar 2018
Renewed, I walked away from the muddy creek
I am only one
Not distinguished, just living
Emotional, not really unique
Not standard, middle grounding
My love, unreserved
I am frustration
I can be anger and hate
I am vulnerability at its great
I'm learning to trust my flawed soul
Feb 2018 · 2.6k
Kara Jean Feb 2018
God’s discipline

I imagine the young girl with a Strawberry Short Cake suitcase dragging down the road

They kept saying she’s out of control,

even at six years old

Dreams kept her heart knowing

Belief destroyed by family

Now she stands empty

A belief destroyed by reality

  Her  iniquity is the grand scheme

Broken she began

Now unwritten

A dangerous grant

God pretends to know her

He wants mild, not cold

Let’s be honest,

she will always be out of hold

She will always be an unknown soul

This is the way she will always be told
Feb 2018 · 448
The night is young
Kara Jean Feb 2018
My eyes seem to not be right 

My perception is paranoid

I wonder how to feel this void 

I may have hit a wall

This would explain why I lay sprawled out in vain

A soul with a vital source of despair 

This is a pitty party and I don't care 

Alone, glad to be at home

We create our energy,

mine is a big box of wine

Can you please be silent and hand me a straw

I promise I'll be fine
Feb 2018 · 421
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I'm scared
There is no exact map,
It's just faith in us

I contemplate what I'd be
You seem to see me,
My flaws and all

Do I regret,
Not at all
We hold eachother as we fall

We fight, sometimes there is a broken light
You never gave up on me

I still feel your heart beating
We restored eachothers beaten
I am your heathen

We never asked for love in the end
I say there is no end,
just our beginning

I will hold your hand,
long as you smile while we die
Feb 2018 · 734
The man made of filth
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I decomposed my head
My eyes smile death
Forgiveness, never read
Choosing complex,
hell is where it lead
My body represents guidance
My mind, violence
I feel no panic, only silence
I bind my heart into the earth,
God is wordless
I am now dirt
Feb 2018 · 796
We will not be enough
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I am thoughtless speech
I am a reckless belief
I see beneath
The dead installed
controlled with no advance
I am doubt
My heart is in need
I am consumption left empty
I am free inhabited by fear
I am nothing
I am in everything
I am the more to my ego
Feb 2018 · 2.3k
No autographs today
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I don't get impressed much
Pompous air
I am prepared
Introvert with no care
I disposed of rationality  
I am red hair of despair
A soul wrapped in profanity  
I digress quite often
Please no applause then
Watch the show
I am the soul of insanity and you answered me
Feb 2018 · 982
Careless beliefs
Kara Jean Feb 2018
You seem to be eating my insides

I watch

I am not helpless

I pretend not to see

Soon I will be left a rotting carcass

I am not afraid of the death you bring

I fear being left useless
Feb 2018 · 1.3k
I have no upbringing
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I take the cake
You want to destroy my brain
Here I lay, take it
I have nothing but insanity and care
I am going nowhere
He whispers, "I am all"
He really has no reason to call
Only assumptions  
I am the giving
I am plenty
Idiot with no understanding,
keep handing me empties  
You're so polite,
"Thank you for dying"
"I really never was right"
She smiles and says, "goodnight"
A human being with no meaning
Feb 2018 · 856
I am the address
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I take another sip of my, “10% I am fine”

I feel my heart in side my head

My life is in reverse there is no death, just loneliness and complications

I seem to pretend

I envy the blessed, yet I have many things while I digress

Don’t trust my flight because I never was told to be polite

My goals were not born , they seemed to morph into a unfiltered ready to pillage this

I am woman

No need for a seat belt

I am hell and I feel there is nothing left
Feb 2018 · 1.9k
We shall be brave
Kara Jean Feb 2018
A world prewritten
She planned on being unscripted
Her world is now unpredicted
She still knows someone else is in control
Still a hope of making her own decisions
Yet there is nothing told
Destination unfolds
Still not powerless
She radiates greatness in a self-consciousness way
Expectance is decayed
Now only false hope and a piece of paper save the day
Kara Jean Feb 2018
I lay in this bed somewhere between young and decrepit  
My tears embedded into my hair, dried out and dead
There is no reality  just expectations  
I seem to have never trusted  
I am not selfish
I am not selfless
In a godless world I pray
I pray because things just aren't going my way
Jan 2018 · 587
No more talking
Kara Jean Jan 2018
I make these plans for every strand
My dreams
My belief
I only seem to fold
My corners always seem uneven
I have these beautiful intentions
I am destructive to my health, leaving me unconducive
A **** show
Welcome to my production
Jan 2018 · 964
I feel your self-esteem
Kara Jean Jan 2018
You caress my limbs
Sweeping by
You can never say hi
I know you are mine
The warmth of your hospitality sets me at ease
We seem to understand the unseen
There is more to the push in the trees
You are a destroyer, devastating
You still have beauty as I watch your beat
My soul hears your control
Yet, you are nothing more than the breeze
Jan 2018 · 1.4k
It's about that time
Kara Jean Jan 2018
They tell me I am powerless

Listen to the blue bird

There is no need we are conserved

My voice is undisturbed

We can read

We aren’t this helpless *******

We are mighty and this it

The  proclamation to world of devastation

We’re invested

Our mind deserves a revelation

Awake to the curse

To be heard

We are  not young and dumb

We are the next generation

It is our time to be heard

Watch out we are about to be unearthed
Kara Jean Jan 2018
My heart breaks

I start to suffocate from the pain

My brain starts to drain,

A sludged up don't give of a ****

We hold on to tidbits, secrets

We try not to complain

We all have a demon who sits comfortably,

We pretend not to see

He knows and he has no empathy

The world is not ready for this meet and greet

So get ready
Kara Jean Jan 2018
The embellishement eradicated
The self served fate
Sneaking in with dinner plates,
never to give thanks
The word earn,
has now been burned
We only own
We need not to share
A world with no care
We need no proof
There is no truth,
when corruption is our plead
Don't mind the fumes
We are still living the dream
So come in, take a seat
Jan 2018 · 928
Here we go
Kara Jean Jan 2018
What an eyesore
Most of her teenage life called a *****
Never ignored
Now in the middle of becoming
Life is plump, kind and loving
She holds on deep
Let go of the redneck endings  
20 something
She is depending  
Now she is ready
******* she is heavenly
Or maybe hell we'll heal the insane
Jan 2018 · 1.3k
Aren't you something
Kara Jean Jan 2018
Rock hard abs exaggerated
Instead intoxicated
We're complicated  
What a generation
Flawed and declawed
Don't complain we're not to blame
We're just entertained by the insane
The world we see is a nothing
Thanks for leaving us a something  
We're weak yet you're unique
OK, remind me why the world is dying
Never mind I am ignorant, keep reminding me please
Jan 2018 · 401
Who's to know
Kara Jean Jan 2018
He continues  
She does not breathe
He pretends to be something
She is empty, covered in bright pink
He is weak but has fake sewn in between
Her emotions sit on her sleeve
She is vulnerable to everything
He pretends not to see
Both lying inside
Isn't this the way life is suppose to be
Jan 2018 · 1.8k
She is more
Kara Jean Jan 2018
The throne she called home
His manipulative love
The legacy devided
Her life as red as wine
Her inner secrets confined
She is a mistaken flaw with no cause
She is the ugly in refined
She is undecided  
She is unwanted
The woman with no weakness
Her guidance is useless
She is the devils spawn
Jan 2018 · 317
Life hurts
Kara Jean Jan 2018
My heart hurts
I have to close the door
My soul will never let go
I will miss those little fingers picking at my nose
I will hold those memories close
I pray for your greatness and strength
God only knows
He only knows where life will go
I only know my heart hurts
I hope you rise against
Against life
This cycle is cold
God only knows
He knows where life will go
Dec 2017 · 1.5k
Kara Jean Dec 2017
I'm conscious I am a rambling idiot
I sometimes see a glimpse of sense,
Patterns created by me
I like to say I'm artsy
I know the real reality
I'm just a depressed mess,
Picking up trash and calling it crafts
Thinking I may have finally gotten it right,
I awake and it never changes
Life is thickening up fast like a poor made dessert
I just stand here with my fork, in hopes it'll cool down
My tongue is destroyed,
It no longer can take the burn
So be warned don't serve me overcooked confections
Dec 2017 · 763
Somethings are done
Kara Jean Dec 2017
Over it
you don't give a ****
I clean,
I sweep
You don't see
You throw things at me
I must have a target that says give me,
I want things
Don't mind my feelings
Empty is my theme
Broken is my show
I always wanted an encore
I hope broad shoulders is all that and more
******* I'm going *******
Hope you find happiness in a *****
And yes I'm tired of endless *******
So please!
Leave me alone so I can sleep
Nov 2017 · 9.1k
Kara Jean Nov 2017
I pretend to love the cold
You have a point, I'm destroying my soul
I'm filled with despair
I pretend like I don't care
I feel every tear
I tell myself don't live in fear
Still I hear your voice telling me I will be "there"  
Sometimes I want to disappear
My pain is near
My fire is inviting
I will grow my weakness each night
Don't underestimate my fight
Nov 2017 · 471
Who cares
Kara Jean Nov 2017
I used to need a night light
You don't tuck me in
Something is broken
I like the silence
The deep secret
The dark
**** my heart
I feel the burn  
The shot is my only friend
The burn isn't a trend
It's where I pretend my life begins
Nov 2017 · 468
We thought
Kara Jean Nov 2017
Call me
Parts of me can't be concrete
A disaster
Blast her
Break me
I am messy
Please forgive me
I am relentlessly *******
A nothing
Time to bow our heads for something
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