Anger is my friend,
but she is just a mask,
A storm erupting to save face,
and hide the heartbreak,
the grief.
Why couldn't you love me?
I'm your daughter
How have you failed something so essential?

People say to live every day like it was your last,
but they call you impulsive when you do.
I used to wish id die of cancer,
so I could call you,
see you again,
Cause who would say no to a dying 17-year-old in love?
And I'd still rather have 2 weeks to live spent with you,
than a whole life without you.

And I dreamed I met you at an airport,
History stretching between us,
And you were teasing and coy,
Like you knew who I was,
But it was our first meeting.
Maybe we met like that in the next life, or the past.
Maybe this was always meant to be,
But in the dream I was so sure I would wake up next to you,

It's been 2 years,
but when someone asked me,
"If you could go back in time would you?"
I said yes.
Because I would give anything to be with you.
I wouldn't waste a second,
I would tell you I loved you the second you asked
I would reach out to my brother,
I'd tell my family at a different time,
I would know exactly what not to do,
And maybe, just maybe,
You could've stayed.

I want to crash my car into a tree at 120 mph.
I want it to end as violently as the anguish inside of me.
I want the adrenaline rush just to feel something before it all ends.
And I want to play my quiet music
and watch my blood drip into the bath,
I want to swallow all the sleeping pills in my cabinet
and watch the world blur around me.
I want to listen to your voice as I go,
and I want to be held by my family and friends with tears in their eyes.
I want to raise my ****** hand to their cheek to wipe the pain away,
I want kisses on my hair and I want to know that the end will be good.
I want to be so much lighter than I am.