Slightly Lovely

Slightly Lovely Apr 2020

The pain isn’t poetic,
Which is why,
All my poetry
Has turned into sad statements
Instead of swirling art

Slightly Lovely Apr 2020

Losing you was breathing in cold air and not having anything to exhale.
It was staring into mirrors with no reflection,
Walking under the moonlight with no shadow,
Or rain pouring your clothes to your skin.
I feel everything and nothing all at once,
When I am without you.

Slightly Lovely Apr 2020

Reality crashes down

Seized with a sudden desperation to hold this moment as close as I could,
to freeze it in time,
to protect it from the slow crawl of inevitability,
I closed my eyes.
I barely allowed myself to breathe,
Scared to let the effervescent moment pop.
I wanted to cling to it, protect it, cherish it,
like a child cherishes a bubble,
for a moment so enraptured by its existence that they forget that it isn’t meant to last.
But it’s over now,
and my eyes are open.

I’m still in love with you,
But do you even remember me?

Slightly Lovely Apr 2020

A golden, human thing.

I awoke because fireflies buzzed in my lungs.
And I didn’t dare open my lips, lest the light spill from inside in a deluge of meaningless stuttering sentences that would never accurately explain the love I felt.
Instead it filled my chest,
molten gold pressing against my ribcage,
and I breathed as well as I could through the honeyed glow as I watched you sleep.
This was my favorite of their many faces:
no boisterous mask, no fire laced beneath their words, flames built to comfort or burn or blaze bright, blinding.
Without their mask, they seemed… human

Without their mask, they were beautiful.

Of course when I reawoke, you were somewhere else in the room, but god, how beautiful that moment was.

Slightly Lovely Mar 2020

im very small sometimes...

like a little kid,
the sensations overwhelm me,
frustration and love and hurt and longing.
tears build up in the corners of my eyes,
as pleasure overwhelms me.
but you're not here
so i cry in my pain all night

Slightly Lovely Mar 2020

can you even see these?

im so tired of not being okay

Slightly Lovely Mar 2020

iknowyou

i know you. more than you think.
i know you probably lied to me.
about almost everything.
i did too. at times.
i know you love your family.
i know you dislike them too.
i know that you probably felt off.
i know you missed me.
but honey, i knew that before we got pulled into the sea.
and i still jumped.
i knew you were probably afraid.
but i loved every part of you.
i saw those parts of you,
and accepted them.
i still love you.
even the parts you probably hate.

i'm not stupid. but love isn't perfect