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JustHayy Nov 2023
Ghosts of my past, like looking at old photographs.
Ghosts of who I used to be
And who I could have been.
Ghost of a person I will never become.

I see the ghosts of the places I came from
And the ones where I belong.
Ghosts of the wars I’ve waged around me
And against myself.
Ghosts of the things I’ve said and done
Wishing I could take some back.
Ghosts of the things I couldn’t say
Wishing I had found the courage to speak them into existence.

I see the ghosts of a life I dreamed up, like a film strip.
Ghosts of a life that will never be mine.
Ghosts of all the people I’ve loved,
Ghosts of all the somewheres my finger tips have touched.

Ghost comparable to sand.
Ghosts like grains of time
Slipping through the cracks of my hands
Blowing away with the wind that moves me.

I should have known I couldn’t hold on to this collection.
Clinging to all these things that used to be.
Just lingering in my past lives.
Ghosts of the should have been, would have beens.
Ghosts of what could have been
And the ghosts of what was.
Ghosts of all the things I’ve searched for, and never found.
Ghosts of all the things i did find, but lost again.
Ghosts of the life that I created, but never lived.
Ghosts of the lives I did live that were not my own.

All I see are ghosts.
Even still nothing haunts me like the tethering of you

Hayy
JustHayy Mar 2022
The fire inside was dwindling as the cold hopelessness was freezing my soul to sleep.
Everything was chilling like a bitter winter breeze. I’m thankful for the blizzard that brought our beings together. The timing didn’t seem perfect until the ice was melting puddles around our feet.
JustHayy Mar 2022
How do you prefer your hearts?
On the sleeve?
Or over ice?
JustHayy Mar 2022
I’ve never believed in past lives
Or reincarnation
Now I find myself projecting and reciting incantations
just waiting for the time to align
so I can run right through the ghost of you.
Trace our existence through the star lines
And hope our story book gets brought back to life
Time after time
JustHayy Mar 2022
In a list of all things
I never wanna be
I don’t wanna be
A repeating page
in the history of me.
JustHayy Mar 2022
I ran what little of my life
He left behind
straight Into the dirt
several feet under
In just shy of a year that
I cant remember most of

How much of it was love
And how much more of it
Can we chalk up to
Nothing more than two addicts
Together in reactive addiction

Didn’t think twice
He Just up and left me with it
Now I’m on the other side
Trying to piece together
A puzzle of fragments missing
the minute hand keeps ticking
Every memory I’m forgetting.

Wasting the pretty moments
a whole garden you’ve planted full
Wilting away
while you water withering roses.
Just Chemical reactions,
and the imbalances
of a ******* psychosis
I lost my grip on reality
caught up in the mixture of
finding and losing both of us in it


Hard pills to swallow
Loving the right one
for just a little too long
Praying you don’t wake up
To see another tomorrow

Infinity at a stand still
Stuck in toxic stasis.
We were in sync even in our error codes
But our timeline was borrowed.
It’s just bits and pieces I haven’t really fixed it yet can decide how I like it I’ve wrote many versions similar closest I’ve come, I think.
JustHayy Jan 2022
His eyes were deep like wooden Forrests but he didn’t realize that those evergreens are the closest thing to a sheltered home for the wolves that run through them.  just singing to the moon, the only one who has ever heard them and felt their pain. And shown them light through the darkest and coldest winters. Guiding them through the changing seasons. The only one who saw through their wild demeanor, and understood the law and order, and Security the wolf pack had come to call structure was just an illusion of protection created with in the shade to keep them covered from the eyes of the unknown beings that cast them away or hunt them. Just as the moon had heard them cry again they met him. With the snap of branch and rustle from the brush the saw him for who he truly was. He wasn’t one of them. half wolf half man.  He had walked amongst the humans but he was misunderstood by judging eyes and too felt at home feeling his soul share secrets with the creatures and the land. Taking in the crisp pine air in with every breath he hadn’t realized he’d been hold in so many years. But when he howled, even the sun couldn’t help but come out of hiding giving the wolves and the moon time to take a rest.
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