I walked into our classroom
As the new girl
The younger sister
I was a mess
Insecure and confused
You smiled at me
From your spot next to my sister
I smiled back as I felt
A sense of belonging wash over me

Fast forward almost a month
I'm still the new girl
We're shooting off rockets
The noise scares me
I stand behind you
You look back at me smiling
From then on you were my human shield

3 months later
We're planning out
What we want after graduation
Those plans are for the both of us
I love you

Kasha

Beautiful nine year old

Seemingly unaware

Of this big harsh world

I admire your courage

Watching you stand out

Refusing to blend in with the crowd

Not caring what others think

No matter what they say

Just doing your own little thing

I wish I could protect you

From the pains of growing up

At the same time I back away

Knowing my selfish actions

Hurt you more then anything

Kasha,

I wish the best for you

I know I’m not the sister you want

Or the sister you deserve

Just remember one thing

You’re part of the reason

I want to change

To become the sister you want me to be

I love you Kasha

Knocking me down

Don’t build me up so **** high

If you’re just going to keep knocking me down

Face first into the cold hard ground

Then act like you’re sorry

Yet, avoiding my eyes

So I’ll reach for your hand

Just barely alive

With that sweet smile upon your lips

Little do I know that just beyond it sits

Your cruel and evil desire that blinds me

While you lead me higher and higher

Till we get to the top of the tower

Where you push me back over the edge

No time to think about my fall ahead.

You say it doesn't matter
That nothing will ever be okay
Things are doomed to be messed up
You know maybe you are right
Just maybe life is always gonna be this way
Honestly though I just take it day by day
I take your craziness, laughter, sadness
I filter it all through my brain
I offer my love, my support and my wisdom.
In return I only ask for a few things
Your love~ To hold me through the night
Your support~ To follow my dreams
Your guidance~ To help me realize my potential
Most of all though I really need your dominance
Because that's how I know my place in this world
That's how I know my role
I am yours
Yours only
So give me another stare
Give me another punishment
Go on about more insane thoughts
I'll love, support and hold you through it all
I promise.

Lie Awake

Do you ever lie awake at night thinking about someone?

I know how it goes,

You hope maybe they’re lying awake too

Maybe they can’t get you out of their head

Do they think of you half as much as you do them?

You find yourself asking,

Why does it hurt so bad?

How did everything go so wrong?

You can see their face, so clearly, in your head.

You talk out loud

As if they’re standing right in front of you

All the words you wish you could say

Spill out into the empty air

You weep and laugh at the memories you have of them

Do they have those memories to?

Do they even remember you?

You finally just stare into the dark sky

Fresh hot tears shining in your eyes

Tears that person will never see

Thoughts and words they’ll never hear

So why….

Why do you still hold them so dear?

Because you hope that over the years

They’ll come home

Dry your tears

Replacing them with laughs and cheers

Yes… I know just how bad this feels.

I know how it feels to lie awake thinking about them.

Like mother like daughter

Without a face to the name

The saying ‘like mother like daughter’

Shall never be the same

How can I know if I’m following her path

If I can’t even remember

When she called last

How can I ever know if I’m anything like her

When she won’t let me in

She won’t share the secrets she holds so tight

About the past

My past

Everything she’s kept within

If I’m destined to be like my mother

How will I know?

Will I end up reading a poem

Written by my own daughter?

Will she sprawl her words and tears

About how she spends her own life wondering

When and if she’ll meet her mother

How will she know when she’s really loved?

Am I becoming my mother?

It was hard to see

That one lonely

Blue line

Slide it’s way

Across the screen

Crushing my dream

Of us being a family

I swallow my sorrows

Wipe away my tears

I tell you it’s negative

Just like you want it to be

I see your own tears form

I regret my words

I know a baby

Would have meant the world

I’m sorry I couldn’t

Give you a baby right now

We’ll try again

When we’re older

Maybe then

Two perfect lines

Will blend together

Tell us that

I’m going to finally

Be a mother

That you

Are going to be

An amazing father

I love you

Forever and ever

If I ran away to Mexico

Would you come for me?

If I drank myself sick

Would you hold a bucket for me?

If I did something stupid

Would you sit with me all night long?

If I got into an accident

Would you hold my hand in the hospital bed?

If I had a breakdown

Would you come to me no matter where I was?

If there was more bad than good

Would you still stay with me?

I want to know that you love me

Even when the days are not so good.

click* Signed off facebook
double click signed off skype
right click signed out of my games
You don't want to talk?
Fine we won't talk
I will just do my own thing
I will do the minimal
Eat the minimal
Work the minimal
Be happy the minimal
I will only do enough to please you
Nothing more
Nothing less
I will be referred to as
Nothing but your Slave
I will not be your babygirl
She has been lost
You can not tell your babygirl
To never speak to you again
Then expect her to speak to you
She is hiding from you
Does that make you proud?
That you made your little girl hide?
You are a Sir and a Master
That is all.

I want this side

It’s not like I'm afraid

Just another side of you

I see him lurking

Peeking around the corner

I am waiting for him

I’m waiting for monster

What will he do to me?

Will he hurt me?

Will he wound me?

Will he “Break” me?

Can he?

I want him

I desire him

No safe words

No listening to my pleas

Ignoring my soft limits

Pushing past them

Playing with my hard limits

Showing me he’s boss.

He isn’t some monster under a bed

He’s the monster I want

To tie me to the bed

Monster….

Will you dominate me?

Can you dominate me?

Mother Thank you (Lisa)
It hurt to leave you behind
You’re my mother
You raised me
Taught me right from wrong
How to walk How to talk
You were always honest with me
About where I came from
Why you chose me
Where my biological parents were
It was you who helped
Mend every broken heart
Put up with my anger
Never gave up
Tried to make me happy
Handled all my issues
Stayed strong when I hurt you
No matter what you always said I love you
Before I walked out the door
Even if we had just finished fighting
I heard you cry late at night
You were wondering where you went wrong
Got up each day
Hoping I’d treat you better
I crushed your every dream
That I’d change someday
Over and over
You tried to hold me tight
I just pushed you away
Made you retreat
Lock yourself and your heart
Far away from me
Today you let me go
Watched me from the door
You just wanted what’s best for me
Mommy thanks for loving me.

I tell everybody I don’t care, that I’ve moved on
I’m fine on my own.
Does anybody stop to think?
Maybe it’s not just them I have to convince?
I also have to try and convince myself.
Life’s just so hard without my best friend right now!
So please come home, save me from this pain
I’m just falling through the air
I already know nobody’s there to catch me at the bottom
Yet, I can’t help but hope that you’ll catch me somehow.

This poem I wrote for Paul, he died on March 12th, 2010
I was dancing to the beat
You were driving too fast
While I was living one of the best nights of my life
You were living your last.
RIP Paul 3-12-10 (10:38 pm)

My Brother
He won’t hug you or tell you he loves you

He might ignore you and say hurtful words

He doesn’t talk much and gets mad easily

But he’s my brother

Almost 18, a full adult

Someday he might hug me

Maybe even tell me he loves me

Someday I’ll tell him

I’ve kept that glow in the dark star

Above my bed ever since he let me take it off his ceiling

I keep it there so I can think of him before I fall asleep

So he can be my 11:11 wish

Maybe someday I’ll even tell him

How much it hurt when he’d refuse

To hug me or even look at me

Even in his quiet tough attitude

And brave expression

I can still see my big brother

My eyes
Look me in the eyes

Go right ahead

Push deep inside

Past the fear and the lies

Ask me how I really feel

Help me tell the story I live behind

Listen to the words

Of wounds that don’t heal

They hold the paid I hide

Every smile and every laugh

Harder to fake then the last

Watch my eyes

See how they jump around?

Trying to find something, anything

To calm me down

Fill the place in my heart

That I so sadly write about

A mother, who has lost her way

A daughter, just trying to learn to play life’s stupid game of pain and drama

Just trying to make each day just a little bit better.

All of this you can find

If you just take a little time

Look into my eyes

Brace yourself

Be ready to pay the price.

There was one a person who made me feel safe

held my hand when I began to fall from grace

This person is my soulmate the one I miss

he brought me love and unlimited bliss

Then I went and messed it all up

Sent him into a downward spiral

He gave me all he had

I threw it all back

I’m still in love with him

He’s trying to give me a second chance

Okay it’s like my third chance

But I won’t give up

I won’t give into temptation

Even if we’re not together

I won’t be unfaithful

He is my first love

My only love

My best friend

The guy who saved me

The guy who loved me

Even when I was impossible to be around

He was perfect…He is perfect….

J.T.L.

My life's Mirror
It’s like she’s trapped in a fun house

360* mirror where ever she turns

Each showing a blurred reflection

A fake image thought to be her

Words scrawled across the glass

Telling her who she is

Words from both her present and past

*****, ****, *****

Stick to her pale freckled skin

Like tattoos that will never fade in

She pounds against the cold glass

Trying to see past the lies and confusion

While a loud mocking voice laughs

With every hit upon the glass

Another word is added to the pack

She finally falls, slumped against the mirror

Cool to her touch, her tears streak it

She stays down now, to weak to get back up

Her life built upon lies

Like a dream from which she can not wake

There on the floor she’ll stay

Until one day somebody may come

Clean the slate, pick her back up

Erase some of the pain

Help her start over with no lies and no walls

Just a good friend who was secretly there through it all

Chipping away at the outside of the glass trying to break through

Hoping each breath her friend takes won’t be her last

I've come to a conclusion.
My past is my own self destruction.
While my environment verbally & mentally
Took its own sick & twisted toll on me
I took an emotional & physiological toll on myself
I allowed myself to give in to what they wanted.
Told myself that their lies were the truth
Which meant if I lied I was telling the truth
I convinced myself that if I stopped fighting
It would be better to be an empty drugged shell
I lost myself. In the worst way possible
I self destructed my education
Self destructed relationships because I never learned how to build healthy ones
I hurt those who loved me & at that time I had no emotion left except anger & fear
They didn't even need to continue to abuse me
I brought it on myself by tearing my life down
However... I tore it down because I wanted something more than that...
So here I am
Battling every day with myself
Telling myself to keep going
That I am ready
Ready to stop self destructing
Ready to learn and experience
Ready to let go of my anger and fear
Ready to be the person I wanted have the chance to be.
So please...
Forgive me if I struggle.
Forgive me if sometimes things don't click
Forgive me if I get really angry really quick
I'm trying the best I can.
Please don't give up on me
I am a good person.
I will become far more than who I am now

I hear her enter the room
I watch his eyes flicker towards her
He tries not to smile but I see it tugging at his lips
"I'm sorry babygirl, she wanted to hang out"
He types quickly as if he's afraid she'll see
I hear her say "Hi hunny I'm home"
I know it's a joke
Her voice has that silky flirtyness to it though
I have to stay calm
I can trust him.....
"Now don't you two go have *** in the woods"
I try to laugh at my own joke
Hoping she didn't hear it crack
He says "I have to go now"
I sigh and say okay
I tell him I love him and that he means the world to me
It's my last ditch effort to stay on his mind

Days later I get a message
"He's cheating on you"
I know it's from her
I lay down and try not to cry
I know they had ***
I know he cheated
I just don't know
If he's going to leave me for him
How this is going to play out
He denies it.
Over and over.
"Babygirl I love you more then anything nothing happened I promise"
I watch as pain quickly flashes in his eyes
It's my signal that he's lying
That all my thoughts were true
I finally realize and tell myself
"He's never going to truly love you"

Want to take a step or two

Living a day in my shoes?

I dare you to try to smile, not cry

Walking through my life is like balancing unstably on the tip of a knife

Swirling emotions, so out of control

It’s like your life is a highway toll booth

Each person drives by leaving some drama

Doesn’t stop…

No hello or goodbye

Just another trauma

By the time you’re back in your own shoes

You’ll feel hopeless and confused.

So take a step or two

Live just one day in my shoes

Listen

Learn

Feel

No way you can heal.

Just wonder how much pain I go through

I live 365 days a year, each year in these shoes.

You silence my thoughts
In a way not even I can do
Within our silence I do not find
Doubt, confusion or anxiety
Instead I find joy, comfort and love
I've only known you for a little while
Yet the way your hand embraces mine
Captures my soul entirely.
Butterflies tickle my stomach
When you smile at me
My eyes fill with wonder
When you say you're glad you met me
Any fears I have about falling for you
You've washed away with kindness
Not only in words but in your actions
Something I've believed I'd never deserve
You and I made love that night
The night my whole world changed
Ive never felt something so passionate
Never the touch of a sweet man
Now I'm not so scared to fall for you
Because from no matter how high I jump
I know in my heart you will catch me

How could I ever tell you that I love you

When we’re so far apart

We’d never stand a change

Almost 400 miles apart

Not seeing you already breaks my heart

So for me to tell you what you mean to me

Means I’d have to think about just how far apart we are

How everyday past is a day I don’t see you

Saying that we’re just friends breaks me in two

Because I know that we could be more

Yet, I know somehow it wouldn’t work

I’m too afraid to lose you

NOTE: After reading this you might recognize some of it from a quote. I got my idea for this poem from that quote. HOWEVER, I did not steal it I just put my own experience to it and therefore, did not steal it. Thank you.

Life comes with no guarantees

No time outs

No second chances

So we tell ourselves…

Live life to the fullest

Tell somebody what they mean to you

Take too many pictures

Laugh too much

Forgive freely

Love like you’ve never been hurt

Dance in the pouring rain

Hold somebody’s hand

Comfort a friend

Fall asleep watching the sun come up

Stay up late

Be a flirt

Don’t be afraid to take chances

Smile until your face hurts

But it’s not that simple…

I can’t tell that one person what they mean to me

I can’t forgive myself, so how am I supposed to forgive anybody else?

I have been hurt so I can’t love like I haven’t

I’m afraid to take chances

So how does somebody like me live in this live where there are no guarantees, no time-outs and no second chances?

I’m tired of being the reason

For everyone else end of this pitch bl’s sorrows

Lying down at night with the stars up high

I find it hard to close my eyes and sleep

When I know there’s no light

At the end of this pitch black tunnel

It’s as if somebody has taken away my sight

Locked deep inside this darkness

While I’m waiting for hope and forgiveness

What’s happened to me?

To my life?

NOTE: I did not write this recently. I am not in danger of hurting myself.

Jump off a bridge

End my life

Save myself

From all these fights

Take a gun

Pull it out

Never even make a shout

Pop some pills

Fall asleep

Never awake

No….

No more…

No more mistakes…

I’m not going to obey you

I’m not a **** dog

This is MY life

Yeah I’ve ****** it up

I’m 1000 times more afraid of myself

Then you’ll ever be!

Don’t you see?

I can’t handle any more pain.

So no I will not be careful

No I will not go out of my way to be safe

I can't take any more pain

So let me feel one last pain

Then I can feel it all slip away

You're not the guy I knew

What happened to my best friend?

You’re not the guy I used to know

Three weeks have passed

Since you’ve said more then hi to me

By now I’m used to only talking at school

It’s been that way since we met

But now no words are being said

We pass in the hall

You just keep walking

You turn your back at lunch

If I log on skype you log off

Why are you acting like this?

Every year I dream about summer

I can never wait for it to start

The end of school and the start of the fun

Always awaited, never dreaded

Until this year….

I toss and turn

Dreaming about the day we say goodbye

I can’t help but wish I could control time

The end of school, the start of regret

Now anxiety grows as the end gets closer

How do I stop this before I start falling faster?

Our friendship needs no words

I know you’re upset before you swear

I know you’re happy before you laugh

I know you’re sorry before you apologize

I know we’re best friends before you hug me

But the words you do say,

“I love you”

“You’re amazing”

“Crumble boy”

“Fiesta en mi pantalones”

“But…But… you know you love me!”

Those are the words that make my day

I promise, no matter how far apart we become

You’ll forever be in my heart.

Why aren’t we friends anymore?

Is it because we just gave up trying?

Or is it because we’re opposites?

You’re popular, everybody loves you

You have Kayla, your picture perfect girlfriend

Not to mention you’re a straight A student

To the untrained eye you’re basically the perfect boy

But me?

I’m not popular

In fact most people dislike me

I’m not considered beautiful

If I’m lucky I’m merely pretty

I’m not good at sports, or really anything

I can barely pass the mile in gym in under twenty minutes

I do alright in school, but I’m not genius

Guys aren’t exactly fighting to ask me out

We are totally and completely opposites

I’m not sure what made us friends in the first place!

Apparently whatever it was wasn’t strong enough

When I was born I couldn’t speak

Nothing was considered normal

Then I learned to talk

Yet, I could find no words to fit my life

I started to crawl, then walk

Wishing I could walk into some answers

Then I began to run

I quickly understood I couldn’t run far

Now I’m beginning to dream

If only I could do better

I can’t stop crying

It all hurts too much

Love seems impossible to me

For all of it just falls away

One day I hope to speak my mind

Talk and be listened to not just heard

Walk into a friends life and stay there

Dream and wish

Cry tears of joy not sorrow

Love somebody and know it’s real

One day I hope to take

All that I’ve learned over the years

Use it to turn my life around

the silence between us is eerie

i want to ask do you hate me

the thought is fleeting

tires crunching as the hardened snow

flies beneath the wheels

turn up the music louder

for the silence is deafining

you take a wrong turn

makes the ride longer

you sing part of the song that’s playing

makes me smile

you’re my daddy

and i don’t want you to be mad

but i know i moved out

and it’s time to move on

I’m no longer daddy’s little girl

I’m daddy’s biggest mistake

The one who ****** up

The one who hurt him

Why should he love me

When he’s got a perfect one

Sitting at home

Doing chores

Doing her homework

Being nice

Being an angel

While he drives home

the oldest

the devil…

Sometimes I wish I had never met you

Because had I never met you

No tears would fall

My heart wouldn’t be breaking

I wouldn’t get lost in your eyes

Flirting wouldn’t **** me inside

I wouldn’t stay awake at night staring at my ceiling

Then I remember….

When I lay awake

I can still see your smile

Feel your gentle touch

Still hear your beautiful voice

Tears fall

I’m crazy about you!

And yet I still don’t have you

I love losing myself in your eyes

Days look so much brighter

Smiling isn’t so forced

No matter what you’ll always be perfect to me.

I feel like that girl who had to sleep on a pea

To prove that she was a princess

I’m not so lucky, it’s not a pea I’m sleeping on

I’m sleeping on a bed of sharp nails

To prove I’m not a **** up

That girl came in from the pouring rain

Couldn’t sleep on the tower of mattressess

On top of that very tiny pea

I can’t ever really come in to escape the rain

No matter where I go I’m followed by a cloud

It never stops raining

On really bad nights it feels like it’s hailing

The bed of nails, the raining cloud

It represents and constantly reminds me of my

Memories, regrets and pain

From my past, my present and my future

So when I finally close my eyes

On top of that bed of nails

Under the dark rain cloud

I dream of a like better then mine

Hoping that one day

I could trade places with that girl

Who sleeps on top of the pea

Please just do me a favor, promise me!

Promise that you’ll never forget me.

That I changed you somehow.

Let me know,

That I had somewhat of an impact on your life

Please promise that you’ll always remember me

Losing our friendship was hard enough

I don’t want to go on knowing that I meant next to nothing to you

That I was just one of those friends

Who passes you by

Nothing left to say

Promise me you’ll remember me, good and bad

You can only push me away for so long

Before I walk out of your life on my own

I know I sound like a hypocrite

I’m not one to scold people for pushing others away

I do it all the time

Except I have my personal reason for it.

So be careful…

Make sure this is what you want

Because once I’m out of your life…

It’s very unlikely that I’ll be coming back.

I’m done with this nonsense

Stop trying to interpret the madness inside

Because you can’t break through the outer cover

Don’t say it might take some time

I’m done playing by your rules

I already know nothing will be alright again.

You don't know the real me

Nobody really does

Not even me so why should you pretend like you do?

At this point its all on me.
Stop this madness inside me.
Go away to get better they say.
Some time will do you good they say.
But you know what....
I'm scared....
I'm scared to admit I'm different
Too scared to ask for help
Ultimately scared they are right...
I'm just another girl
Who has it bad off..
Who's parents gave up on her.
Turned her loose to the world.
Well now the world turned on me too
I'm alone in my own life..
Scared of direction
and of no direction at all...

Slowly as the days go by I lose friends

Most that I hoped I never would

I wonder where the friendships went

What happened to the memories?

Now we’re left here at the beginning

Of two very different and separate paths

You’ll take yours and I’ll take mine

Maybe someday our paths will cross again

I hope they do

Because I still have so much to say.

I shouldn't be feeling this way
My life is almost perfect
I'm doing good in school
I have a wonderful boyfriend
I get rewarded when I do good
I have a family that loves me

So why am I still feeling lost
Disappointed in myself
Slipping backwards into depression
I think about the past
When I could cut without being seen
Half of me wishes that's how it could be

Right now I feel numb
Nothing to stop me
I could watch the blood pool
Watch it run down my arms
I could feel pain again
I could feel in control

Why do I feel this way again
I have no reason to be unhappy
No reason to self-harm
I have so many reasons to smile
Yet I can't bring myself to do so
I just want to break down
Go back to how I was
Just for a night
Just to watch the blood around my knife

Come sit with me
Hold my hand
Tell me you love me

Lets walk the beach
Smell the ocean
Run at the birds

Set out a blanket
For just the two of us
Pretty shells border it

Wind blowing
Waves crashing
People screaming

We don't hear it now
We've traveled far away
Without leaving our spot

Come sit with me
Get lost with me
Stay with me

Forever

Even on mute
I type carefully
As if just the sound
Of the keys would wake him
I watch his eyes flutter
Faintly hear his lashes brush against
His baby soft skin with every movement
I listen to his breathing
It finally falls into a soft rhythm
He looks so peaceful, so innocent
I know in this moment
That I could watch him sleep forever
The only thing I’d want is to be there next to him
To keep him safe, to take care of him
Most of all
I want to be the first thing he sees
When his eyes flutter once more
And they open slowly still half asleep
I want to watch the smile
He gets when my fingers brush against
His still warm cheeks
Until then I'll type carefully
My words full of love
Waiting for him
To slowly wake up

I feel like a softball net

Nobody knows how my frame is supposed to go

So they build it up

Then decide it’s not right

They tear me down again

I’m a softball net held to my frame by my friends

But each friend that holds me is fragile

Like an over used rubber band

Their hooks scar me deeply

Friends come and move around

Some break and fall

A piece of me now gone from my frame

While others grow stronger

Hooks digging deeper

While I continue to fall and be refastened

Something else is thrown at me

Drama

Big, small, fast, slow, friends, home, school

They’re the softball that hit my net

Each new drama rips my net just a bit

Or knocks another piece loose

On and on the cycle goes

Frame changing

Net ripping

Hooks digging in and falling out

Rubber bands snapping

Standing on soft grass

Blue sky over head

Everything is peaceful

Time moving slow

I hope this is real

Inside I feel like ice cold snow

I try to imagine something playful in the clouds

Yet every time they look like nightmares emerging from the hills

I like to sit in this soft grass and look at this blue sky

Some days it helps me get by.

People think so **** low of me

Yet, expect so much

With nothing to give in return

But more lies and remorse

It dims the light inside me

Causes my inner flame to fade away

I need to know I’m valued

Not just caught in the middle

Of this hell hole we call life

I need somebody to comfort me

That person I can call late at night

Today I stand before you
Looking into your eyes
I see the man I fell in love with
I've heard you say I do
Now it's my turn

Every day since the day you first smiled at me
Has been some of the best days of my life
It started out small and innocent
You protected me from the rockets
My human shield
You slowly wrapped your hand in mine
It was like pieces of a puzzle
Finally coming together
We shared our secrets
Learned our boundaries
Fell deeper and deeper into love

We started to plan out our life
Telling ourselves we'd be gone
The day we graduate
We'd find our own place
Make our life
How we want it to be
Where we want to live
To build a house
Start our own family
Even if it doesn't go
Exactly as planned
We have each other

Today is the beginning
The beginning of that life
The life I'm ready
To spend by your side
Through the sickness
The health and everything in between
For the first and the last time
Today I stand in front of you
Saying these words

I do

Would I still be me?

If I cut my hair, dyed it black?

Buy really dark clothes, say **** like that?

Shrink away from the one I love

Never accept what I’ve done?

Become that chick that people fear

While you watch me disappear

Would I still be me?

If I got straight A’s?

You’d think it was just a phase

If I fit in with the crowd?

Didn’t stand out?

Become the angel you love?

Believe there’s a god above?

Would I still be me?

If I told you how I really feel?

Why life is no big deal?

Opened up?

Let you in?

Who in the hell would I be then?

Strength
He is steel
Anger flares easily
With grip so strong
yet underneath
He is gentle and kind
He makes me feel how I feel
When I feel freshly cut grass
beneath my feet
Relaxed and content

His eyes light my life
with passion and joy
when we're together
His eyes twinkle as he teases
They can quickly turn black
As the ocean at midnight
Frightening but controlled

His lips brushed mine
Tenderly, firmly, deeply
His hands hold me tight
At my hips
At my waist
At my neck
At my thighs

His mind runs rampade
Always one step ahead of mine
I can never know what he wants next

His heart pounds loudly
I can hear it over my own
It almost seems to set the pace
I have to keep up

His soul is beautiful
His mind is dark
His heart is mine