When I think about all we’ve been through

I can’t help but smile at the memories I have of you

Like a movie in my head

Where our friendship plays

Beginning to end

Sometimes the movie goes dark

Re-playing all the times we drifted apart.

Note: again, this poem was inspired by a quote. However, it is all mine and in no way did I steal the quote.

Maybe I’m not hot

Maybe I don’t act like the other girls

I am smart ~ But I don’t pass my classes

I like to have fun ~ not that I get out much

I don’t party ~ because I’m never invited

I like being with my man ~ he’s my un-moving rock

I have my own back ~ because I can’t trust anyone

I don’t like to admit that I need anybody’s help

I try to learn something new everyday ~ if I can

I live my life to the fullest ~ the best I can

I don’t like to live with regrets ~ yet I regret a lot

I have my good and bad days ~ mostly bad

I fight with everybody ~ even if they don’t deserve it

Some people don’t like my attitude ~ to well

I refuse to waste my time with those who look down on me

I have a ***** mind ~ what teenager doesn’t?

I have my friends ~ if you don’t like them to bad

Don’t ask me to change ~ because I won’t

Take me or leave me ~ this is the way I am

Would I still be me?

If I cut my hair, dyed it black?

Buy really dark clothes, say **** like that?

Shrink away from the one I love

Never accept what I’ve done?

Become that chick that people fear

While you watch me disappear

Would I still be me?

If I got straight A’s?

You’d think it was just a phase

If I fit in with the crowd?

Didn’t stand out?

Become the angel you love?

Believe there’s a god above?

Would I still be me?

If I told you how I really feel?

Why life is no big deal?

Opened up?

Let you in?

Who in the hell would I be then?

I feel like a softball net

Nobody knows how my frame is supposed to go

So they build it up

Then decide it’s not right

They tear me down again

I’m a softball net held to my frame by my friends

But each friend that holds me is fragile

Like an over used rubber band

Their hooks scar me deeply

Friends come and move around

Some break and fall

A piece of me now gone from my frame

While others grow stronger

Hooks digging deeper

While I continue to fall and be refastened

Something else is thrown at me

Drama

Big, small, fast, slow, friends, home, school

They’re the softball that hit my net

Each new drama rips my net just a bit

Or knocks another piece loose

On and on the cycle goes

Frame changing

Net ripping

Hooks digging in and falling out

Rubber bands snapping

Standing on soft grass

Blue sky over head

Everything is peaceful

Time moving slow

I hope this is real

Inside I feel like ice cold snow

I try to imagine something playful in the clouds

Yet every time they look like nightmares emerging from the hills

I like to sit in this soft grass and look at this blue sky

Some days it helps me get by.

People think so **** low of me

Yet, expect so much

With nothing to give in return

But more lies and remorse

It dims the light inside me

Causes my inner flame to fade away

I need to know I’m valued

Not just caught in the middle

Of this hell hole we call life

I need somebody to comfort me

That person I can call late at night

Even on mute
I type carefully
As if just the sound
Of the keys would wake him
I watch his eyes flutter
Faintly hear his lashes brush against
His baby soft skin with every movement
I listen to his breathing
It finally falls into a soft rhythm
He looks so peaceful, so innocent
I know in this moment
That I could watch him sleep forever
The only thing I’d want is to be there next to him
To keep him safe, to take care of him
Most of all
I want to be the first thing he sees
When his eyes flutter once more
And they open slowly still half asleep
I want to watch the smile
He gets when my fingers brush against
His still warm cheeks
Until then I'll type carefully
My words full of love
Waiting for him
To slowly wake up