If I ran away to Mexico

Would you come for me?

If I drank myself sick

Would you hold a bucket for me?

If I did something stupid

Would you sit with me all night long?

If I got into an accident

Would you hold my hand in the hospital bed?

If I had a breakdown

Would you come to me no matter where I was?

If there was more bad than good

Would you still stay with me?

I want to know that you love me

Even when the days are not so good.

It was hard to see

That one lonely

Blue line

Slide it’s way

Across the screen

Crushing my dream

Of us being a family

I swallow my sorrows

Wipe away my tears

I tell you it’s negative

Just like you want it to be

I see your own tears form

I regret my words

I know a baby

Would have meant the world

I’m sorry I couldn’t

Give you a baby right now

We’ll try again

When we’re older

Maybe then

Two perfect lines

Will blend together

Tell us that

I’m going to finally

Be a mother

That you

Are going to be

An amazing father

I love you

Forever and ever

Camper bed

Comfy enough

Tiny for us

No good for ***

Perfect for cuddling

Curl up right in your arm

Feel you breathe in

Wait for you to breathe out

Match our inhales and exhales

Hoping to match up our hearts

Melting the two beats into one

Drifting off to sleep slowly

Blinking trying to stay awake

Smiling because you say my name

Whispering I love you’s

Closing my heavy eyes

Opening them to you

Brushing hair out of my face

Camper bed..

You are **** and love approved.

Becoming little

Sometimes all it takes is a touch

A simple pat on the head will do

Other times it takes effort

Choosing the right clothes

Coloring the right picture

Even watching the right movie

I love slipping into little space

I feel myself shinking

Do you see it physically?

My eyes become droopy

My breathing slows

My attention span lessens

My **** wiggles more

I tend to curl up

Or bounce around

Do you see it right away

When your little girl comes out to play?

24 Hours

Keep it locked away

Nobody can come inside

Don’t let them see your pain

Push your fears aside

Smile like your happy

Laugh like your not silently cracking

Make it through just one more day

It’s only 24 more hours

Locked inside your head

Living this life in complete misery

Every moment filled with dread.

A poem for Christa

I miss you like a fish misses the sea

I need you like the Earth needs it’s trees

I hope to see you soon like the early morning light

I know this doesn’t make much sense

I guess I’m trying to say….

Christa come home.

Alone

Sitting Alone in a room

Nobody to sit beside me

Words escape from my cracked lips

Fresh salty tears slip from my swollen eyes

I wipe my face and wonder once again

When did my life get like this?