I need…

I feel like when I talk I’m not listened to

Like every time I ask for more trust

Past events are thrown in my face

I don’t know how to control my anger

I push everybody away with my actions

I want to be trusted one day

Without my past haunting me

I want to stop pushing people away

I need to feel in control of my life

Honestly the only part I feel I can control

Is if I choose to live or die

I need more structure in my life

I need a set of rules I can follow

Sometimes I feel trapped

Like nothing I do can change

The way my life is going to be

I need that sense of belonging

In a place other then with

The other **** ups in the office

I need to take action in my life

That will actually make a difference

I know I can’t do it alone

I realize that I have to first

Give people a reason to stand by me

Or I’m never going to get anywhere.

I watched you today

I watched you today as you walked by

For an instant I think I saw a flash of pain

Flicker in your eyes then it was gone

With a shake of your head you keep walking

I stand there a moment longer

What I wouldn’t give

To know what you’re thinking

I can tell you what I’m thinking

I’m stronger then this

With a shake of my head

I also walk away

Whispering to myself

“No I’m not”

I lovee

There was one a person who made me feel safe

held my hand when I began to fall from grace

This person is the one I miss

He brought me love and unlimited bliss

He left me once

I left him twice

We’re hit and miss

Trial and error

Just ask me why I love him

I’ll smile & say I just do

Inside

Look me in the eyes

Don’t you see

The fear and pain that I hide

Talk to me

Let me cry

Maybe someday

I’ll let you inside

So you can understand

Me and who I am

How I live my life

Always hoping it would end

The walls that I’ve built

Please don’t even try

You’ll never pull me out

It used to be so easy

The drama didn’t matter

Your smile made my day

Your laughter filled my head

My shoulders felt lighter

With the sound of your voice

Now everything’s complicated

The drama never stops

Your smile is forced

Your laughter is gone

Just a dream

Acting in fright

Wishing one day

It will be alright

Hoping it’s all just a dream

Open and close my eyes

Is there little more than

Mistakes and fights?

Is this because of where I come from?

Who am I?

The mirror doesn’t lie

Just a sad excuse

For the wannabe daughter

Trapped inside

Slowly dying

Why can’t I just be somebody?

Just one of those people

So I guess…

You’re one of those people

Who was only meant to walk into my life,

Build me up….

Give me something to believe in….

Knock me down…

Make me cry….

Then walk away…