Purple lilacs shedding their petals that drift to the ground with each cool breeze.

Just like the season, I am changing.

Stuck between blue water and green houses,
and chilly days that are orange and yellow.

Even though lately I've been stuck behind a filter of grey that far too often turns black.

I am Alice falling down the rabbit hole, watching all of these colors swirl around me, yet unable to grab onto one.

So I'll just enjoy the breeze on the way and hope that where ever I end up is more beautiful than where I am now.

I'm not a very strong swimmer,
I'm trying really hard
to keep my head above the water.

My soul is exhausted,
my body and my mind
are going through absolute torture.

Me, panicking,
makes it even harder
to stay afloat...

I ain't going out like this!
Hell no!!
I ain't going out on this note!

I'll keep trying to swim
through the rising swells and waves,
I'll paddle and backstroke
my way back to shore,

I'll do what a survivor does,
I'll keep swimming
until I just can't swim no more.

I'm usually as warm and bright
as a little ray of sunshine...

But, lately,
I can't even seem to radiate
as much light as the dimmest glare
of moon shine.

I've been a warrior
all of my life,
my history is my proof,

But I'm not as strong as I once was,
I'm not as resistant as I was in my youth.

I'm gonna make it back to shore.
And if I happen to lose my pen
along the way...
I'll be alright!

I'll write my message in the sand
using my finger - in hope that God in heaven
will read it, and bestow upon me
some mercy, by shinning upon me
some much needed courage,
strength, and light.

By Lady R.F ©2016