We laid there on the firing line
He was black and I was white
But the random bullet chooses not the colour of your skin
No sharp crack like you hear in films
Just a dull thud
No heroes death for that young man
No
Blood and **** and gasping for air
But there wasn't the time to help
Because the next one was aimed at me
****** stained pants while the screams went on
But eventually he died
Heroes!!! Well of course for we had been trained
But how do you tell a nineteen year not to be afraid?
PTSD don't be ******* stupid
There's no such thing so get your ******* **** out there
And do it all over again
But he died with no dignity
"So, he was a soldier, it was his ******* job"
"It's your ******* job so don't argue"
But the scars imprinted on your brain remain
Your never going to be the same person again
The suicide rate among ex service personel is at an all time high
Yes, even with the counselling
But back then there was no counselling
So the bottle became my best friend
That morning after your accident I followed the ambulance
Out of my head will worry
Out of my head with *****
And I did that for you
A perfect father! Probably not
I wanted the best I could do for you
But always the nightmares were in between us
A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then James
But you are and always will be my son
And I love you

And so we left to the trumpets blare
To fight the scourge of commusim
That you all so feared
We, the young, did not choose the path
That lead so many to their last repose
And yet you who did with bearded face
Beaded dreadlocks proud on show
Shouted baby killers to the crowd
Oh you, you brave and nice
And so we returned
To no heroes cheers
We returned to a thousand jeers
Simply because we fought to keep you free
From Communism

This morning I wandered along the canal
The autumnal sunlight glinting on rippled water
More beautiful than any man cut diamonds
Autumn snow flakes filled the air
Flakes of red, gold, yellows and faded greens
Forming multi hued drifts around my feet
Overhead a skein of geese
Unerringly headed south
A picture forever imprinted on the mind
What a beautiful season is autumn
Colours bright, colours warm
But
All to soon she will leave
Her colours to fade and die
All to soon winters might will rule
And we must suffer winters bitter storms

My lips are my weapon,
My sadness- my shield.
I will fight for you.

I am torn in two
but I will conquer myself.
I will dig up the pride.
I will take scissors
and cut out the beggar.
I will take a crowbar
and pry out the broken
pieces of God in me.
Just like a jigsaw puzzle,
I will put Him together again
with the patience of a chess player.

How many pieces?

It feels like thousands,
God dressed up like a *****
in a slime of green algae.
God dressed up like an old man
staggering out of His shoes.
God dressed up like a child,
all naked,
even without skin,
soft as an avocado when you peel it.
And others, others, others.

But I will conquer them all
and build a whole nation of God
in me - but united,
build a new soul,
dress it with skin
and then put on my shirt
and sing an anthem,
a song of myself.