Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Johnnyqu33r Aug 2022
No stars to guide me here
In this consecrated space
Where God watches me explore
And once I've finished
He immediately expects more
And who am I to say no
The shadows give me neck kisses
While whispering their obscenities
Teeth press down on tongue
I see you but my eyes are closed
I feel you but I'm totally alone
Other than his divinity meandering
I know what is thicker than both
The blood and the wombs water
Salivate at the thought of you
Pressed into the darkness with me
Amongst his omnipresent eyes
Also wishing you were here with me
Johnnyqu33r Feb 2022
Is there an angel here with me
Wallowing in the corner shadows
Where my eyes dart in the darkness
As I plead my lids to hastily close
Before the sun ascends the latter
Shattering through the window
Spilling onto the parkay flooring
Slithering up and atop my comforter
As I try and meditate on comfort
And those who can so easily drift
Into sweet and restful dreaming
While I delve deep into a panic
Over a conversation exchanged
More than five years ago
I guess there is no paradise
If there's nothing to escape
Do you take full notice
Wallowing angel with grace
The things I must face
Even in the warm embrace
Of my own obsessive thoughts
Johnnyqu33r Mar 2022
I've always longed for the unobtainable
Breaking my own heart fully knowing
I would never really grow tall enough
Nor would the tree ever someday shrink
And the apple would glare down at me
To one day go black and fall at my feet

I go such lengths to trip and fall
For things that never even falter
No sweat beads or clammy hands
Meeting my eyes as I die inside

I just want that meant to be moment
Walking under stars barely even talking
Because we vibe just existing together
Experiencing simplicity blissfully
But the disconnect keeps us divided
Because my heart only truly wants

What it simply can not have
Johnnyqu33r Jul 2022
I'm drowning in plain sight
This monotony is heavy
It's resting on my chest
It doesn't care I'm sinking
What a ****** parasite
It'll die as soon as I do
The bubbles will be fun
To watch while I descend
To wake incredibly far away
A brand new galaxy
New bones and skin
And that ****** parasite
It's light-years behind me
With souls that don't move on
Content with the monotony
Dollar bills and pointless wars
In rectangle boxes they'll rest
To tread upon their old flesh
What perfect hosts
Johnnyqu33r Jun 2022
I often wonder
If I even have an other half
Maybe I came here whole
To stroll the evening streets
With no hand to hold
But the edge of my sleeve

I have tried
To be someone in love
Put the butterflies in a jar
To be admired and one day
Polished on a wedding alter
But after time it falters
And I stroll alone again

I often wonder
If I will feel free or lonely
When I climb in age
As my sleeves fray
As I meander down
Beneath the street lights
Watching lovers lull about

I do that too
In my dreams
Johnnyqu33r May 2017
Breeze felt from your wings,
Hovering like a humming bird,
When my heart is steady,
And my body fast asleep.

Lips caress my cheek,
And your gaze burns my face,
But I refuse to wake,
Because I'm stubborn.

Your breath invades my dreams,
Stealing away my hiding place,
And a thundering whisper calls,
For me to draw the curtains.
Johnnyqu33r Jul 2022
I sit and imagine all of the ways
That I could be loved
And then I give myself none
I give myself none
Even in my dreams
I just give it all away
Nothing gets returned
It's fuel
It gets burned
I never learn
I'll never learn

You'll never get burned
You'll never teach me
You are an engine
You only consume

I sit and imagine all of the ways
That I could be loved
And then I give myself none
I give myself none
You'll never get burned
You'll never teach me
You are an engine
I am fuel
You only consume
You consume me
Johnnyqu33r Feb 2022
Just let me dwell
In this old rolodex
Dark circles along
With unkempt hair
Trying hard to hold
To never let it go
Despite me knowing
That it's been gone
For so awfully long
Nostalgia of wholeness
Prior to the cracks
And dispersed pieces
Of young wild smiles
Cigarette smoke
Empty city streets
Running mascara
Childish promises
Childish dreaming
Clouds drifting
Storm brewing
Dreams dying
Just let me dwell
In that old rolodex
Carousel spinning
Tangled in the tangible
Midnight embrace
Twilight kisses
Starlit wishes

— The End —