I don't think I was born to be satisfied
Whatever created me was vengeful
Inching so close to finally feeling whole
To crumble all at once into the ocean
And he watches me claw my way to shore
And he huffs and sends me a storm
But I survive the gusts as he wishes
Drenched and humbled finding a home
Finding a lap to finally rest my head
And a hand to tether me sweetly down
And I thought that I had found it all
But something inside of me is broken
I don't think I was born to be satisfied
I'm quickly coming to terms with this
And I know he will have the last laugh
And he'll push and pull me endlessly
So I will never really get comfortable
As I know he will yank the carpet
And I will sink down to the sea floor
And because he is the great creator
He will resurrect my bloated body
Squeeze the moisture from within me
And return me to the path of reaching
For things I never will truly grasp

It just ain't in the cards kid
And I want to scream shuffle
But that's not quite how it works
So I put my head in the clouds
Waiting for the night to fall
So that I may rearrange the stars
And so it goes that I can not reach
And the clouds and I begin to weep
I climb atop my mattress so tired
Content to drift into sweet dreaming
Where my desires kindly greet me
And stay until the sun gets out of bed
And I retreat back inside of my head
To formulate a spectacular plan
To manifest my dreams to infiltrate
The dimension where I am awake

I just want to be wanted
Rarely ever received
Like the arcade prize
Everyone ogles at
But never takes home
Despite countless coins
And food court tantrums

Except for that sweet blue moon
When I want to just combust
Into a billion cells floating free
With you breathing on my neck
And your fingers on my skin
And we go so deep

Particles burst on black bedding
And I let you touch me as we sleep
The sun rises and the blue is gone
Good old silver shimmer beams
Where I touch myself as needed
With no hot breath infiltrating
Comfortably combusting alone

I should be used to this by now
And I think that I might be
But sparkles of hope seep through
Some specs of green and ice blue
Swirl dimly on the wooden floor
Swept thoroughly this afternoon
And I gaze down almost longingly
Remembering when I shimmered too
Careless and free with my youth
But now resorted to rationing
Eating pills and smearing creams
Praying for strong elasticity
So that I may be stunning
When a flicker finds my gaze
Just a gentlemen passing by
Intrigued by my blue eyes
And the sparkles in his stomach
The same as the ones in mine

I don't feel the way I had imagined
I would feel by the time I had gotten here
Paper scraps littering a lengthy path
An ivory album half filled to the gills
Most pages just blips and blackouts
A garden of blooming disappointments

I hyped up the experience too much
Everything feels so terribly lack luster
Now I'm almost always half asleep
And the days feel like I pressed repeat

I don't feel the way I had imagined
Though times have been much worse
And I'm alright with seeing the sunrise
The boredom is better than binging
Waking in such a painful panic
But I've kept the promise this time