you sped up my heart,
only he had since turned

when lying with you, I felt not steady  
                               hurt..

I forgot I was sick
I forgot I was his

or his
                      or his  
                                             or his

I'm so scared of this and these following words,
because now to that list, I might have to add

a "her"

It’s hilarious
Truly
How when it’s just you and me
Things are perfect

But insert an external muse
Of amusement
Something neither of us care for
Still some score
Is kept
Between and the tension sweeps
And I can’t keep clean

All I know is I wish it would stop
And I wish you would stop
Because it disgusts me
And thrusts me
Deeper into the *****
of something I never even cared for

Because it’s farther away from both of you
Because neither of you
Want me for me
And that is disgusting

if you get what you deserve
just know it isn't what you've heard

the devil has a way with words.

you confirmed all of my horrors
when you said you can't touch me sober

Change in the weather
will that bring us together
or rain out the game

                  Kelly McManus

Do you know how desperately I wish


     we were right for each other?

Don't ask me if i see it,
or throw words in blatancy
if you think i haven't noticed how your bones feel
under me

when i look away or play you off
and hard resist
to indulge those thoughts
its cause i'm caught
in my debilitating illness

sans flaws sans scars in all you are
I'm wary of your mind
because in this mentality,
I fear its just like mine.

i haven't seen those two names put together in a while.

a comfortable silence reflective of an instant
where some blissful time existed
                                        for who we used to be.

but we don't talk anymore.