I can see them all my faults
But you can only see where I begin to start
And I've been trying to show my work
But that's my least favorite part

the calendar's a palindrome: in a glitching cul de sac of lost culture: tide laps against the rim: thought coursing repeatedly and wearing down the ridge: the little plastic
castle is a surprise every time

You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness
You just needed to find a way to talk to it

I woke up this morning and realized that I had made my lips chapped from trying to taste you again over and over and over and over and over and over

I have built a house for myself,
Not of wood, lest the pyromaniacs
Not of glass, beware the stone throwers.

But of flesh.
Of skin and borrowed time.
Of faces and hands and backs and shoulders.

Most from my friends, others
Of my enemies and friends of friends,
Distant relatives, mostly dead.
And the few folk I’ve prodded to force that hand.

I cannot look inside my house.
The door is always open and the front mat is an arched spine.
The walls are covered in wincing and no furniture lay about.

I cannot look in the mirrors
For a heap reasons I cannot tell you
You simply wouldn’t believe me
I will tell you only that they look back at you

There is no fireplace
So I hope you’ve packed a sleeping bag
No food to be had here either
Begone your selfish needs

The roof is all but hands lending help along the way.
They collect as much rain as possible
Then the house floods

And the stench is enough to make you weep

Always wear your thickest boots when walking all over the rugs and others,
Tends to not wear out the tread as much

All in all it’s not much of a home
Just right for not much of a man.

I miss your friends
I miss my friends
I miss everyone at once

You’ve got the heart I’ve got the aches
Babe

When you live
                       You live
When you die
                              You die
When you are happy
        You are happy
When you are sad
                               You are sad

There shouldn’t be an obligation to be anything to anyone other than yourself

Because they also will
Live
     Die
          Be happy
                   Be sad

And you may choose to share in those good times and those struggles.
And that is beautiful
And rare

But your life is yours
Yours only
Be kind to yourself
Because
Few will be

Give yourself time and peace and understanding

When you live
              Live it up until you collapse
When you die
   Everything after this point is not worth seeing
And everything up until was
When you are happy
               Sing and jump and dance and smile
When you are sad
            Cry and curse the sky

Whatever you are today
Be everything of it

I’m only human when I sleep,
However sparse,
The rest of me is an idea, plain, simple,

You may see a man with a face,
Or a boy with a mask,
You might not even see me at all,

I’m what I make it to be,
Whoever holds the reigns,
Myself, or just the pains or vices,

I’ve got legs of gin some nights,
Some nights I’ve no legs,
Most nights I’ve got loose ends,

And the next time you see me,
You’ll ask me, “who are you today?”
And I will not reply.

Because showers only wash away 80% of guilt.

I made up my mind
Then made it up again,

My heart was set,
yours was still growing back in.

I took my ring off because it got too heavy on my finger
I don’t think bees know that they die after they get rid of their stinger

Once you know what the question is

You’ll understand what the answer means

And I looked in the mirror,
“I know who you are,
And you’ve won today,
But you will not win everyday.”

It’s not my fault
That you thought what you thought
But you can blame me for
Us getting caught

Inside a most dangerous plot

And I forgot
What my tears tasted like
Break apart the melancholic
Coaster ride

This was not in my plans

You were just someone
I wanted to help
From inside your heart inside your head
I wanted to save you
But nobody can save you

I’m just staring at clouds at night
All but in awe of nature’s might
How everything comes in goes with time
Just like you and I

I don't quite remember your name
But I think I'd know the face
It's from those blue green eyes
And subtle voice I can feel some grace

I touch you with nicotine hands,
Hoping to be the balm for the burns,
This is what you wanted.
This is what we wanted.

I read the pages on the screen,
Showing you how to better fix yourself,
This is what you wanted.
This is what we wanted.

I am the ears and arched backs,
The shoulder, the left hand,
This is what you wanted.
This is what we wanted.

————————————————————

The fear of your fear keeps me awake,
Wherever I am in my head I am still here,

The furniture lunges at me,
Vision is not relation,
I keep poise, brilliant but faint,
Your brother eases his mind outside the door,

You’ve been breathing uneasy for 2 hours,
What do you see in your dreams?
Is it calamity?
Or rather fruitful.

The loss of my sight is not the loss of your sight,
Dwindling between the morning hours,
You are safe, boarded up,
A most natural self defense.

It will prove worthwhile
For all intended parties.

Who is it?
In your person, in your mind?
How many of you are there to spread around?
How many are well guarded?

I pour gin on all of mine,
Wine and anything else that will pour,
I inhale cigaret smoke to protest,
And the ******, the bartenders and the grocery clerks never know they are in there.

How difficult to chose who to show in the daylight,
How they often sweep through the bricks,
Who knows?
Who cares?

Your life is yours. And I mine.
We’d better get to know it while we can.

How much easier it is to let it slide, to ignore the signs, to push the truth away. How much harder it is to watch the color leave someone’s face as they fade.

I dreamt I saw you when you were old and tired
Your skin had wisdom etched into itself
Your eyes had darkened themselves from fighting with the sun
Your hair had woven silver strands behind your ears
Well kept nails and your tattoos were perfect

And I had the biggest smile when I looked at you

I want to crawl into your skin,  
into the space where you begin.
I want to course all through your veins
until I find where it is you end.

When you forget I'm there,
I'll make my way to your heart
Despite protest it's unfair
To take and break you apart

I'll pull it slowly from your fingertips,
Escape through the windows of your eyes,

I'm thinking how you'll never miss it,
Even when your ribs ring hollow,
So strange a muscle could be so fragile,
And funnier still how it's safer here,

Away from the rage in your chest
Away from the hate in your head

I'll pull it slowly from your fingertips,
Escape through the windows of your eyes,

Everyone is their own protagonist in their own special ****** up beautiful story.

Don’t be selfish in thinking you’re any different.

It’s perfectly normal to not be perfectly normal, and to go see your father on a national holiday when he’s just going to ask for money.

No amount of people saying they love you
Will make up for you not loving yourself

Which you can do
At any time,
You know you can choose to love yourself temporarily or even forever?

If you want to
But you don’t

So you won’t.

First morning of autumn
5:22
I can see my breath float away
But I still cannot see you

The days are circling in and out
Way too fast for me

First morning in your room
7:13
Well that was unexpected
But let’s make this a thing

Days keep circling in and out
Way too fast for me

“Did everything feel beautiful when you let go of the idea of being anything at all?”

Throw my fist at the ground but the ground does not give,
I said come with me now and let’s learn how to live.
God struck me once yeah She showed me the end,
But the fool that I am I screamed show me again.

The things I love in life are taking shape in front of my eyes. And the people I love are loving me back.

Spend all day drinking cause I think it’s fun
I think it’s fun
What I’ve done to me

Cause in my dreams I’m falling
Just look what I’ve done
What horrible things I have done

Spend all night thinking because I’ve lost the sun
I lost the son
Don’t wanna see me

Cause I’m my dreams I’m counting
Things that I’ve done
Horrible things I have
Done

They are just motels
repaying a debt
So don't be a fool thinking
loyalty
Is just living quietly in their
head;
Only coming out for drops
of affection

I’m reminded of what great value there is in breaking hearts—what great value there is in momentarily destroying someone else.

Through long nights and sleepless too
It’s killing me cause it’s killing you
But that’s the reason
They call it growing season
And I sure hope we’ll make it through
Cause there’s no me if there’s no you
And I can hold you through the pain
If you can hold me just the same

In a dark and filtered room
I told you two to kiss
The friend I never knew
The girl I always did

John was there on the kitchen tile
Wondering if we were real
Sat up like a lamp
With his shades dropping to the floor

A sink big enough for a bath
I pace the tiny rooms

Michael wonders how cold is cold enough
I told him to give it time
Happy insects right through the doorway
I told him to give it time

Tomorrow is Monday
For the rest of our lives
Honored to wear the stress
You are my depression cherry