2019—
I have a roof over my head
and warmth in my body
and a healthy heart and food
I have family and friends
That share love from near and far
And a job that pays my bills and
Gives me a purpose in life
I know not all are this lucky
The other day
I passed the homeless camp
Near the highway exit
To see two men
Carry away a body of
Someone who died there
And load it into a van
It was a downcast day
And some aren’t so lucky
My wish for 2019 is
That everyone would
At least have the simple
Things mentioned
At the beginning of this
None of us ever know
When we might end up
On the other side
That no one
Seems to love.

What scares me most
Is that you are my ghost
Visiting past and future
Thoughts passed through
Never led me back to you
Here on earth our paths
Didn’t cross
Fully alive
Nothing to lose but all
Was lost
I tried to
Bury the memories
Never made
Never meant to be
One day I told myself
That you were my mirror
Now I see clearer
Did I hang on
Only because
It was loneliness
I feared?

Recalled a voice say
“I’ll teach you.”

The only thing is,
“I can’t reach you.”

Never learned
How to climb

I was always
Afraid of
What I’d find

The rope
Dangled
So high

Some ropes,
Aren’t meant
To be climbed

Somberly glanced to the ceiling,
I knew it when I heard the ringing,
       I'd be there dancing and singing,
Couldn't hide from the irradiation that saturated with all its might,
It seeped in unsuspected,
Grim to bright,
Forced beams in when all I wanted was the--
Dim inside,
Glared through blinds--had to adjust my eyes,
The sun was so harsh when I got the news tonight,
Always up, no one can always stay "up."
Life will sometimes let you down,
And that's just what it is,
Nightfall to sun-up,
Some things are
Beyond our control.

Only one life,
Live it
Or keep
Waiting,
And
Regret it,
Never lose
Sight of
What gets
You lit.

Never try to plan
Your life out,
Because without
A doubt,
a wrench will
Be thrown in,
A heavy one,
Not always
Necessarily bad,
But a test of sorts
Brought about
By fate,
To see how you
Choose,
Which way you
Will go,
Just when you
Think your life
Is set in stone,
A wave rolls
In to break
The still,
Sometimes
It's love
That breaks
The still,
To risk it
All following
Your heart,
Or to stay
Still
And never
Know
At all.

The journey takes and catches you
As the wind sweeps your cares away
Lifting you up in a hot air balloon
The clouds are alive as they pass by
The day is new, the sun is warming too

All or nothing
Just want something
That doesn't go away
Craving realness
Like an addict
Drinking
Mouth on fire
Only all I want
Is something true

Wish I could be
An addict to you
If only, I knew you…

Sinking deeper,
Drowning,
Blue haze
In a dark pool
Flames washed away

Craving realness
Like an addict
Does
With desire
Drinking
Mouth on fire
Flames washed
Away
Here in the abyss
Swallowed up
By thoughts
Lost in my mind

Stood in the break
Between you and me…
I said goodbye knowing
That you weren’t the
Right one, you see
Through me,
And I could see
Through you.
Doorway,
Was a gateway
To embrace and
Know that we
Would never be.
You see, you weren’t
The one for me,
And there is
Someone else
Out there
For you, maybe.
I knew as I
Gave you one
Last smile and
Waved farewell,
That was
The last
Time I’d
Ever see
You
Again.

For what it’s worth
I had a beautiful
Day with you
A frozen picture
I’ll cherish forever
I wish for more
I hope for love
I want to know
You better
I want to see
Where this goes
But only if you
Feel it too
Yes, it’s scary
The unknown
And that
My heart might
Break for you
All I ask is for one
More day to hold
Your hand
My newfound friend
Life is so much better
When you
Have someone to hold
Onto
While you face the edge

Traveled through
The cursed forest
Bewitched under
Spells for miles
Swam across a
Quicksand tank
Filled with snakes
And then jumped in
The murkiest lake  
Found it a mistake
Only to be caught
Confused and dizzy
Inside a crystal ball
Until the glass
Cracked and I found
A way out and then I
Ventured through
The queen's castle walls
And it was off
With my head yet
Somehow I dodged
The ax and then
I was fighting off
The headless man
On his horse with
A mask and so I
Kept moving along
Until I ran away
To a better time
All in my mind
To let the good in
Let's pretend

So many pages
In this story
Unturned
A soft wind
Blows in the window
It whispers,
"Was never meant to be."
"Leave it alone..."
Time to heal, again
To wait and see,
Hope for better memories
Licking my wounds
Picking myself up
Heart hurt but not dead
It deserves love
Time to keep turning
To the next pages
And move forward
In this story
Called life

The spaces 
Where seconds 
Pass.

The Blink
Of
An Eye
Never 
Phasing us,
As we
Forget to
Breathe.

Monotonous.
The Day,
Fades.

Stopping
For a Second,
To look at 
Our hands,
Fingers
That move,
Miracles
That go
Unnoticed
As we rarely
Take the time to
Acknowledge
Them.

A silent gap
Between
The music...

Does anyone
Take
The time,
To listen
To it?

What do you think
This is
A video game
We stare at
Our screens
Collecting tokens
And buying things
In real life we
Mirror this
To survive
Stay Alive
As long as we can
But eventually
We die

Game Over.

Luckily,
You had
An extra life.

Before you
Know it
You're back
In the game
Fighting
To survive
As long as
You can.

Always wanted
To get lost with
You.
You said
We all
Die alone,
So, get used
To being
By yourself.
I still
Am.

What is ever truthful, and is anything real?
Just have to believe it...just have to...
I try to hold the tears back, they still fall
Uncontrollably, no more and again, again
They fall...
Disenchanted songs play in my head
Thoughts like water shed, overflow
Beyond the cliff, Down to drift free
All this disbelief is made of dark
Things that attack and hurt the soul
In this place there is nowhere to go
No way to grow, the more warmth
You bare, the colder they stare and
So, you disappear because it’s what
They want and you can’t please
Everyone, so the only thing to do is
Pick yourself up and move on until
You don’t fall, keep trying in hopes
You’ll find the glow of a star that's true...

I'd give anything
Love.
Just say the word
Love.
At least we can dream
Love.

You are up there so high
Igniting the sky
A nova so bright only
Dimming with time

Go on shining
In the dark
Igniting the sky
You are up there so high

I imagined I could fly
Drowned in your fire
Until the end
Go on shining

Crashed down,
To be uncovered,
Like a stolen
Weapon
In the night.
Be mine, be mine.
If you hold
A shining light,
Someone will
Want to take it
From you.
Save your life,
Hold on tight.

Always remember
To shine.

You want a piece of this darkness,
It's yours,
You want to be set free,
To let it be,
Centrifuge, holding force
Strength come back,
Wrap around,
Unexplained universes
Fall into the arms of time,
Take hold,
Break through,
Light specks above the cold
Leave behind their traces,
Golden sky explodes,
You want a piece of this shine,
Let it glow

I try so hard
Just see
The light,
But it's not
Always there,
Inside.
This curse
Never subsides
As if a brick
Subsisting
Forever
Preventing
It from
Being Found.

Blessings
Are
All
Around.

If only
Emotions
Weren't bound.

Heard a familiar song,
As sleep beckoned once more
Only to close the door
At the the crossing
Where I find you,
Obscure.

Drifted away to sleep...

As it fell upon me,
I heard your voice so clearly,
Looked at your face,
But there isn't a trace
To be found,
Familiar sound,
Something isn't clear.
Something doesn't compute.

A new day beckons,
Awaken,
Rise up,
Live it.

A sound in the crowd,
A face takes hold,
Merely a figment
Of my daydreams and worst dreams,
Come back to this life.

I could hold your hand,
If only I could find it,
Finding you lost,
On the Verge
Of something new...

No fun to drink alone
Wine glass
Hold the phone
Memories to be created
No fun to eat alone
Making an amazing dish
Of honeyed fish
Walking to pancakes
Hand n' hand
A storm, ready to land
Staring into those eyes
They change color
From time to time
Holding you close
Never know when
We'll get this day again
Rainy days are the best
Because there's
A safe place to go
And find shelter
From the storm
Rainy days are the best
Arms that hold
And dreams that unfold
Everyday in our minds

Valentine's Day
Rose
Petals Fall
Into soul's
Kiss
Your heart
Goes amiss
Skips a beat
What day
Is it...?

Your presence
Reached in and
Broke the surface
Just enough
To find its way in,
Back to the depths
I’m telling you, life is short.

I’m telling you…
It is.

Vividly glimpsed
Your face while asleep.
Your eyes stared down at me
Piercing my soul and
Said, “Meet you at the East Gate,”
That’s all I know.
We would always see the numbers, “222.”
They signaled through the airwaves,
Subconsciously,
Visited us often,
We had no fear.

I looked into your eyes,
I didn’t want to leave
This place behind
Closed Eyes.

When I silently asked you
What to do, you looked the other way.
Then, I opened my eyes and
It was morning,
Light shined in,
Peaceful and quiet.

You were so real,
I knew your face,
You told me you knew
My fate.

It was time to wake,
From where your unending
Glow extended,
Time to trust
The unknown.

See you at the East Gate my long lost friend.

Exit sign, rainy night;
Rushed, beloved
Plight; Always
In clear sight,
Falling short,
Never missed
On a stormy night.

Reprieve hides
Beneath,
Footprints,
Face down to them.

Blurs in puddles dissipate,
To purple, bluish streaks;
Gray daze.
Headaches with
Thoughts, down the drain.
Core subsides to
Liquid
Particle bliss,
Followed by uneasiness,
In the drizzle.

Eternity
Elapsed
Through fingers.
It wasn’t
Real...
Touched
And lingered
All over,
To return to the
Inception
Eternally.
We can live forever,
In another world.

Tired eyes glanced a Yellow  ____Road
What lies ahead
Perhaps, a man made of tin
A little dog
And rin tin tin
Some comfortable slippers
A bunch of flying monkeys
Ziplining with hippos
Tornadoes built shadows
Followed by rainbows
Open your eyes,
The Yellow  ___Road
Is no more
It's time to wake up...

Current State: Not awake
Close your eyes-
As if anchors hang
On the ends of lashes.
Clouds covering,
Weighted by an anvil.
And steel plates
Fold upon it,
Shaking like an
Earthquake.

Diminishing more.

Heating, Expanding, and Cooling-
To become
Resistant,
Even more,
Hard to break.

Made of Flesh,
But just like metal,
This is just
A process
Cast
To reveal
Another shape.

No longer young
They have grayed
Hair thinned
Adult diapers worn
Skin frequently
Pricked by a nurse
With a pin
Wrinkles
Formed roads
He traced
His finger along
One on
Her hand
All the way up to
Her heart
Then back down
To her wedding band
To discover
A faint whisper
Death couldn’t
Sever their love
One so rare
Death couldn’t
Sever their love

Oh lover,
I ravaged your plans.
You said you knew
How you would
Lay me down;
Instead,
I took your hand
And led you
Down the
Stairs- Heaven bound.
You said you wanted
Me in
Every corner,
Until none remained.
So, we did
As lovers do.
After going
Down the
Stairs,
I sat you down
On an accent chair,
Then removed
My clothes too.
Your heart raced,
And you looked
Surprised;
The rest,
Is left untold.
We did
As lovers do.

It’s like
The voice
Of a lost
Loved one
Echoing clear
Guiding you
On this path
Have no fear
Close your eyes
Sleep sound tonight
They are always present
When you need them most
The compass in a sandstorm
There just enough to guide you through
Downpours and wipe away tears dropping down
To form a puddle, don’t worry dear because they quickly
Dry to reveal a rainbow and the skies sing and bleed sun rays.

Cold can be so warm,
On the outside of truth

Crashed below the water
Heavy and sunk
To the bottom
so far, so far
From where
The edge scrapes life
Underneath disguise

Took hold
Of temporary
Youth
Reflection holds the truth

It is so cold,
In open air
Above the pool
Where bodies swim
Say hello
Meet and embrace
In the blue

There is love, up high
Reaching
Reciting
What you believe
Love under the surface,
Scratched away
To find proof
On the outside of truth

Thick forest, blankets
The open air.
Pines and maples
Smell naturally fresh.
All worries, float away.
Eyes open to a new day.

I was walking in opaque
In a mist of blurred lines,
On the trail
Of something
Of someone not meant to find.

In that moment,
I stood on the dirt,
And looked up through the fog
To see through the clues
That led me to resolve,
Then to you.

I was lost in a maze
with no exit.

Now I'm face to face
With another,
Never meant to uncover.
From day one
We were never meant
To know each other.

Standing on the abstract
Verge of something...

Colors merge in my mind,
All was obscured
And now I can see
But not feel.

And all along
I was never meant to
Uncover you.

So many colors blend,
Blurring the truth
And I'll never
See through to you.

Bark lined remnants,
Grow wild, inside the fire.
Uncontrolled burn, let it render
Heat to icy hands
Here in frozen firelight.
Sparks, let them fly,
Make one wish tonight.
Don’t tell anyone what it is,
Or, it might not take flight.

Sometimes, it is easy to think “It’s just me;”
We all sometimes, feel lonely.
You can want something so badly,
Deep within your bones; Sometimes,
Reality condones that it is best left alone.
Thought I felt you throughout the day,
Couldn’t stop smiling at the thought of your words.
Created something from your insights; felt alive,
Inside.

Someone else wanted me, but not in a loving way.
Once wore his locket around my neck;
Was just false hope that it was real,
It wasn’t;
Was just a broken wheel
That kept rolling along; wobbling.
Until one day,
It stopped.

Perception: "In the eye of the beholder"
Frostbite: Can lead to the loss of fingers and toes, if careless
Heat Stroke: Sometimes fatal but can be avoided
Sleep: A necessity
Sugar: Sometimes deceiving
Salt: More than meets the eye, combine with sugar
Awake: What salt does to the tongue
Dreams: Escapes from reality

Eyes: Windows to the soul
          The most intriguing part
          Of the human body, to some

Venturing,
Into a
Telescope-
Resplendently
Lit,
Inside,
Glowing.

Only to see
Totality.

Revolving
Geometric
Etchings-
Colliding,
Rapidly
To reveal,
A star.

Eternity--          

Pulling,
You Up,
From
Underlying
Beams-
To
The Outside,
Of Vividly
Portrayed
Depictions-
Anomalous Landscapes,
Embedded.

This feeling settles in,
Making itself at home

It's so unsure,
It asks,
"What were you searching for?"
"Never mind, you can't go back..."

You'll never find it,
You'll never know it,
The cycle seems to keep on spinning...

There is something you have though,
It can't be taken,
It's yours alone,
But no matter how hard I try,
It feels like a part of me has died...

Maybe one day,
It will all make sense,
Maybe one day,
It won't.

Right now it lays at rest,
Sometimes it pours out
Uncontrolled,
For now,
I let it lie down.

It hides in the form of
Sleep and regrets,
It lies.

I am only human,
You encouraged
Me to feel vulnerable,
And I gave in
Like a child to the swing,
Blindly following.

Slowly
Unbolted,
An aperture
Inside.

Mind.

A rift
Settles
In.

There is
No measure
Of seconds,
Or hours.

Time.

Finding
Reassurance
In
What billboards
Display
As
Happiness.

Everywhere,
Every time.

Running, running, running;
You can't leave this world.

Behind.

Feeding,
So blind.
Constantly
Monitoring
Others.

Lives.

Judging blindly;
To take a glance
In the mirror.

Sometimes.

Knowing
It's a
Far
Cry
From
Circumstances.

Here.

Is that what
Brings
Us closer
To finding
What we
Seek?

Displayed
In the form of
Material
And Physical
Things...

Nothing in
This
World,
Can
Satiate.

This aperture.

See.

We don’t get
Those seconds back
Don’t look back
So fast
Or the memories
Might not last
Everything
Reminds me
Of when
You were here
The lessons
You taught me
Along the way
The laughs we
Had and the
Tears we cried
That time when
I had reached
The edge
& could take
No more
You remained
Calm to help
Me endure
Even though
You yourself
Were barely
Holding on
You’re now
Gone
But not
Forgotten
The memories
I’ll keep here
Forever
Until I’m
Where you rest

Hold on,
It’s never easy,
Take this thread,
It’s all you have
Left.

No matter
What you’re
Struggling with,
Hold on.

A chain of soft fabric string,
Dangles from a branch
In the wind, swirling buoyed,
It’s barely afloat by tendrils
That split, so thin.

Hold on,
Don’t let go,
To be taken
By the wind.

Make believe that
There is more,
To this than
Meets the eye.

Make-me-believe.

Replaced,
Paradigm,
Shifted
With a downpour
In the night.

Souls,
Taking flight.

Years from now,
Upon steel plates,
High above us-
Masterminds
Displaced.

Our intelligence
Obsolete,
As artificial
Ingenuity
Breaks-   free.

Taking control
Of Us.

Paradigm Shift,
All around,
Dismantling
Every thought
That ever
Meant
Anything.

Is everything that
They
Hypothesized
To be
Rewritten
By machines?

As they take over all we see.

What will we be?
It’s already happening…

You were
One of a kind
If you don’t
Mind
Let me close
My eyes
And dream
It was so...

An intro
Of instrumental
Snow—
Captures
This Void,
And it’s not
Winter
Anymore.

Tracing
This triangle,
Temporarily
Drawn in.

The pavement
Expanded
To the Milky Way,
And I escaped
The presence,
Inside.

Warmth
Of fire
Over cold
Steel,
Unveiling
Someone’s
View,
Still.

Sparks
Flew over
Desert Dust,
A phantom
In this present time.

Saguaros
Lined Hills
At Dusk.

Manifesting,
Stolen hearts
Stealing others’.

Otherworldly,
As if
To discern
No difference
Between
This life
And the last.

Hinged
On the edges,
Of wings.

Severed
By grace-
Unrelenting,
Unseen.  

Turning
A light on,
Lifting it up
To heaven.

Life
Is a given.
We can
Only try to learn-
The lessons.  

Healing by
This preface,
To change,
Shape,
And guide us
To our fate.

Letting go,
Of
This worldly
State...

To see
A window's pane,
Fast moving,
A train.

Capturing a moment-
Just as I dreamed it.

Sunlight pouring in
To reveal a view,
A Visage-
Only to see
The same,
Appear the next day,
Always there.

I have no fears
With you.

Lids close heavily
Breathe in deeply
Without opening
Your mouth
In rhythm
so calming
Hands across your heart
Trailing starlight
Chasing sun rays
To touch
Across your own
Face and hair
Believing the outer
Self is a reflection,
Inside-Out.

Hello…
Introspect?
You reflect inside,
Deep within.
You need subtle reminders
To look out.

Introspect?
Hello…
You hear a person in the distance say out loud,
“This is my favorite place to watch the sunset in the city...”
Introspect, looks out.

It needs these subtle reminders sometimes.
Suddenly introspect leaves for a few minutes time;
And, it’s so sublime to be out of your mind.

To see the snow kissed mountain peaks in full clarity,
Back-lit by pale pink sky so serene.
For a moment, you forget what was going on inside.
The sunset so saturating,
Orange juice might easily be squeezed from its rays.
Then you eye the towering crystal-clear star on the hill,
And for a few more seconds you forget
Introspect.






Hello…

Wake up,
Come up
From below
The depths
That hold you, hold me too
This life isn’t real
Hypnotizing melody
Plays out in this reality
Otherworldly songs
Call you
What is it that you want
Me to show you
Living to sleep,
Living to wake,
Sometimes
We just need to
Open our eyes
And know what
It feels like to
Be awake