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JaxSpade Nov 2019
¬ °
I'm a ghost
Afraid of my own shadow

I see alive people
And they look so hollow

When you look into their mind
You could see the other side
Follow

^
·And the fire in their eyes·
^

I'm a shadow
Afraid of my own silhouette

I see dancing on the walls
At end of a candles wick

The frightening flickering
Leaves me shivering


¬°
I'm an anomaly
Afraid of my own entity
¬°


Reconfiguring
JaxSpade Jan 2019
The small side of
Caring

Feeling
Emotions

Such a big big heart
Floating in the oceans

Out in the deep blue
Where the tide pulls everything
Sailing in forever waves
Away from everyone

Is there anybody out here
Other than me

Feeling
Emotions

On the small side of
Caring

Sharing peace

I haven't seen anyone out here
In the wide open sea

But I'm here floating
Hoping

For someone to meet

On the small side of caring
To live
$
JaxSpade Oct 2018
$
The directon of where I face blows cold
Eroding away my face and the days

Wrinkles

Cracked and whithered away
My flesh scratches and scrapes
Into the dust of the first day

Created to waste
Age takes a toll

I haven't the money to pay

Yet
      I owe
2
JaxSpade Jun 2020
2
I tried to inspire you

Set you on fire
So you could aspire to
Write something
Desirable

But I failed
You see
I'm not really a poet

I just try to be

Something I'm not

It's the only thing I've got
I tried to inspire you
So it could help me a lot

I tried to set you on fire
So you could desire what I want

Even though I'm not good enough
You could

Possibly be The One
God blessed
You could be the one
That gets everything I wanted here

Instead
You could inspire me

To be better
           Than

                            I am
JaxSpade Jun 2019
Through the mud
Four by four
Spinning
dragged
low gears
Sinking
I think I'm going to need a tug
I've got all these RPM's
And they're still not enough
I'm going to blow my engine
And leave my vehicle right here
Stuck
On the earth
Throw me a rope
so I could
Get out
JaxSpade Apr 2019
Chocolate bunny
Melting in my hands
Buried in my teeth
Your head
Chocolate lipstick
Kisses for my peeps
Marshmallow sugar bodies
What a treat
JaxSpade Dec 2018
The silver rain

A sliver of cloud
And blackened pain

Pouring down face

We've seen it shine
Mirrors and moons

The reflection of rays

A sliver of moonshine
The silver rain

Tilt back your head
And pray
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Do you like the moonlight

I can see the fireflies
In your eyes
Under the twilight

And they fight for your presence
When they surround you
In luminescence

The glow of your gleam
In the moonlights beam
Shines my look

Do you like the moonlight
Because you look great in my sight

Under the night
Of the moons bright
We could hold each other
Till forever says goodbye

I kiss the sky
Your lips
And the moon high

The illumination
Of our love
Surrounds any dark
And brings it to light

So tell me

Do you like the moonlight
And basking in the mood
Right

Me and you
In a phosphorescent
Reflection of the suns
View hot

Do you like the moonlight
I do
In fact
It shines all day
When I look at you

They way you glow
I just wanted to know
If you liked it too

Do you like the moonlight
Darling I like you

When we're together
Nothing is better
Under the moonlight
Your so cute

I like the moonlight
But what do you like
So I could do it
To you

All night
        girl
Do you like the moonlight
We share
In love

Place the answer on my lips
And let me know if you like
The moonlights kiss

Do you like the moonlight
     Darling you know why

I howl like this
Aaaaaaaooooohhhh!!!
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Walking down the street
I see...

On the corners
In the alleyways

Caught in the stare

Maybe I don't see
Anything

The mad dogs glare
Is he ever
What makes him

Happy

Walking down the street
I see...

Nothing

At the parks
Where people are gathering
Slight of handshakes
Magicians create
Audiences

I see...

But I don't tell anybody
JaxSpade Aug 2018
When I touched the dirt
Your face
And skirt
And the clouds example
Of the rain that hurts
When I left the ground
In the hunt for a search
I saw you in the thunder
Making it worse
Oh how I mud in your vapor
In the lightning thrusts
We couldn't have love
As too much
Heavy and inches
Puddled in floods
Your face
I touched your skirt
***** in love chains
Tied you up
If it wasn't for the came
We would still be of
Acid and blood stains
We couldn't love
No we couldn't trust
Before all the love came
We fell in us
I touched your skirt
We fell in mud
And we couldnt get unstuck
The rain fell hard
Sulfur and oxides
Nitrogen gusts
When I touched the dirt
Your face
And skirt
All of the world changed
What we were once
JaxSpade Dec 2018
Hide me
Where the moonlight won't find me

In the darkest of unnamed roads

I don't wish to be found
In a population bound

To the evil depths of their hell
JaxSpade Nov 2018
The sun penetrated through the night
And came morning to rise
Into the blue through the black
Caped skies
The sun shone bright
She was standing there
In the color of my eyes
In the window of my soul
She appeared as a bird in flight
Flying away into the winds kite
Into the clouds framed white
She glided through the air of my mind
I thought about her in the afternoon
And how she looked so good
In my eyes sight
She could be an angel
In the right light
I asked her where have you been
All my life
She said she'd always been in my dreams
But I kept waking up
To time
JaxSpade Oct 2019
Alone in a poem
Only for one

His eyes so dolor
No one had come

He wrote what he felt
And his heart came to melt

When nobody cared
What he wrote for the crowd

Alone in a poem
A poet at home

Yet no one would know
The elysium he owned
JaxSpade Dec 2019
She said there's blood
In your eyes"

"I said no

That's just the moon shining
That's just the *****"

I was feeling so blue
I drank the whole universe
Because I had nothing to lose"

"She's said no
That's blood

I can see you're a fool
Cut by a woman
Thinking love was true

I bet she sold you on forever
I bet she said I do

Before she left you in moon shine
With your heart in a noose
I bet she's bleeding too

"Naw it's just me
I guess you could see
The blood in my teeth

Dripping the truth
There's blood in my eyes
Blood shot
And shined by the moon

Every one can see
The red I bleed
But all I really need
Is a little moonshine
And a pair of shades

She said no"
You need me
JaxSpade Mar 2020
There was a lil love left
When she kissed

And he felt a lil drip
  of It

It was in her spit
When she licked
His tongue
Like a lollipop
Does a kid

She was so eager
To receive his pleasure

And all it took
Was a lil love here
To make it grow

She had a lil love left

And it was better than anything
He'd ever had
or felt

So he gave a lil more
And it added to hers

And now it seems

They can't make
       Anything else
JaxSpade Mar 2020
On the roadside
I sit on the edge
Of a flat spare tire

All the cars fly by
Like Stallions
Toward their checkered flags

I stare into the dust
From where I was made from

And I beg for the return

Then flashing lights
Issue me a ticket

Their help is a threat
Telling me to get my car off the road

They returned to their box of donuts
While i remained in the cold

There was no one I could call
Or funds to be drawn

Just a blurry stare
At the end of the road
The end of the road stared at me
Mocking my raspberries
Those dusty eyes peered inside
My blurry eyes
And spit in my face

I was just another corpse
Laying on the floor
A skeleton of war
Another casualty bleeding out
The horror

Time was a crimson red
Dripping the last hours of victory
I laid their at the side of the road
A cold slab
Introduced to the ends mystery

I've heard about this before
There's only six feet more
Before the journey ends
And the nails are driven forth

I had no strength to drawn on
My prayers drew deaf to heaven
And now all I can do
Is drink the cup
I've been given

On the side of the road
It's just me here
Laying in the dust of my corazon
JaxSpade May 2019
The anger in man
Clenchs like a fist
Teeth grit
While flesh reds
The mind of a mans head
Pulses his heart rate
In a rage to seek and destroy
Another mans face
And pummel it to death
Cain you understand
Why we are Able
To ****** and then love again
The flesh of our skin
Flexing a masculine
Victory to win
Busting chops
With a hard fought
*** to kick
The danger of anger
Is the other man may have more than your strength could comprehend
A man could fight with himself
Aggravation and frustration
Completeing tedious tasks
His aggression is fuel for the fire
Of stressing over things that never matter too much
Are you mad bro
Don't you kno
You're only beating yourself
Up
JaxSpade Nov 2019
I wanted to make a paragraph

I had a few sentences
That would make their appearances

But no one wanted to see the act

So I put down my pen
And decided to end

The one thing I could have
JaxSpade Jul 2020
In God we Trust

The Way
The Truth
And the Life

The Red
The Blue
& The White

A Nation born under the light
Together we fight
Onward Christian soldiers
Unite

On the 4th day of July
JaxSpade Jan 2019
The Eve I knew
Years ago
Under the midnight hour
The lord bestowed
A woman in the night
My eyes could hold
Into forever she would
Find no more
A New years Eve
Leaves me cold
But my memory
She will always know
JaxSpade May 2019
Anxiety is like a knife blade
With the handle as a knife blade
JaxSpade Aug 2019
Turning back
Your face
Smothered in glow
Holding on to your eyes
I couldn't let them go
I knew you'd break
My heart of a thousand pieces
And shatter the last fragments even more
But I just wanted one last kiss
To remember that loss we loved
I knew you'd cut my throat
But I couldn't live anyhow
When your breath left me gone
Turning back
They way you walk
In those heels
Make me remember
When I peeled off your dress
And you left them on
Holding on to your flesh
And the way you pressed
Against my gropes
Just one more kiss
Just one last hope
I know our chance was in the past
But I don't care anymore
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Yeah she broke my heart
So what

I still have half of one

It's a bit damaged
But
It still works

Man
And it still hurts

Yeah she broke my heart

My wallet
My patience
  My love

The only way to get out
Was to cut my heart in half
And bail

She should have gone to jail
But everyone does crime now

Morals are ancient artifacts
If you find one you have to preserve it
To make it last

Yeah my heart broke
And I lost hope

But you brought it back

And even though my heart is half
It beats for your laugh
And you gave me half of yours
So now we match

Yeah she broke my heart
So what
I still have half of one

It's a little bit damaged
But it still works
JaxSpade May 2019
A poets heart loves
With a blissful kiss
Of words in twist
With metaphors of sexually lettered alphabets
With just a few jots
And suggestive jest
The poet has you spreading
Your legs
Your arms
And your heart to length

How does a poet love you say
It is easier to show
Than to write bouquets
He loves with his soul
With his life you take
Everything he owns for your own buffet
A poet loves with his pen displayed
In an art form staged in a cabaret
Yet the easiest way
To understand love his way
Is over a glass of Beaujolais
In lingerie
JaxSpade Mar 2020
I saw a fire
In the eyes of her gaze
It burned in her heart
And i felt the flame

I fell in love with the warmth
She gave

And i had to beg her

                Never
to take it away

She was the sun
Shining her rays
She was the love
I wanted to make

I saw a fire
Burning with flames
And they kept getting higher
With the passion we made

I fell in love with the warmth
she gave
And I had to beg her

                Never
To take it away

She was the one
I always had dreamed
And I fell for her
When she fell for me

I saw a fire
And so did she
And we pour out desire
Like gasoline

I fell in love with the warmth
She gave
And I had to beg her

                Never
To take it away
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Are you the light
When the darkness bites

Do you shine
When the wound bleeds bad

Will you stand
When the weak
Fall to their knees in tears

Could you carry the wounded
To the safety begged

For

You are the light
God's candle
A spark
To the fireside
Where it's warm

And comfort
Is just an arm away
In hugs

For no dark
Can take away love

Are you a soldier for Gods
Or yours

Are you a light
Or just a bright spot

Where do you get your power from
And I'll tell you why it's dim

Are you the Light
Within the Truth
Where the Way
Resides

If not
You better turn in on!

Before you get left
             In the dark
                  Tonight
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Her eyes handcuffed me and threw me in the back of her heart
JaxSpade May 2019
Clumps of gases
Congregated in gravity
A nuclear fusion reaction
Began a stars activity

Shining
18 million degrees
Fahrenheit

Glows
A molecular cloud of nebulae


A Cepheid is born
Pulsating a RR Lyrae

As a candle
For the Lords eyes
Shining brightly

Hydrogen & helium
Beam a light within

For the purpose of a man
Who calculates constellations

To try and understand

                     Where he is
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Sux
Being a thorn
When I could have been

The 🌹 Rose

Adorned
  Adored

                    I guess
I'll have to protect it

               From what
               ..The world

                       The 🌹 Rose
Such a beautiful red dress
Of petals

Fragrantly spread
Across feminine
Tones

     The scent
Makes a man
Moan

Sux being a thorn
      We get cut off

Before a woman
    Ever holds us

But the Rose
Gets her hold

I was supposed to protect
But no one protected me
From the humans

You know what they're doin'
They'll cut you off
For their own good

Sux being a thorn

When I could have been
The Rose

Adorned
  Adored
JaxSpade Mar 2020
Moments of fire
In a passionate rage
She's my desire burning away
I can't stop this feeling
Begging for yours

And I can't help revealing
All my love

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain

The mackerel sky
Is a thoroughbred
Racing higher overhead

And I keep falling
Into your eyes
They just
Caught me
And pulled me inside

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain

Into your arms
I melt away
We make fire
In a poetry

And i can't stop this feeling
You create
I just want to kiss your pretty face

Moments of fire
Burn away
The flames grew higher
Than we could ever pray

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain

We made love over again
And I can't help revealing all my love

And I keep falling into your eyes
No one can make me feel
just like you have

You're my desire
Burning away
We lit a fire
And made love in the flame

This fire is an atomic rain
Au revoir
The cold and pain
JaxSpade Sep 2018
I met a girl
That said she lived
On the inside of the moon

Under all the dust
And Moonrocks
Lived the gold locks
Of my girl

She's from another world
That believes in love
And glows a reflection
Of a star

She lives inside of the moon
I'm looking at it now

I know she's in there
Dying her gold hair purple
Because she's not from around here
And she never wants to be

Anywhere else

She loves the outer space
And inside the moon
She stays away
From here

With her eyebrows pierced
Just like her lips
She takes me on trips
Inside the moon
Where

She lives

As we kissed
In the moondust
The cosmic dripped
               Lunar lifts
Under the surface
Of the moons
Purpose for our
                Fetish

I dyed my hair blue
And left the earth
To be with her inside
The craters
Cherished

Inside the moon
There was a home
Made

For us
JaxSpade Mar 2020
That fine line of pain
When you feel it burning
And you absorb
The length
The consistency
And eagerness
And you suffer
To no end
It's no longer a fine line
Or a dangling thread
It's going to be torture
On the nerve of nails bed
While the thorns pierce the flesh
Pain pays the toll
All it takes is a little suffering
To remember who is in control
The nerve of pain
To present itself
An electrical battle of circuitry
Burning me out
My lateral femoral cutaneous nerve
Is in a pinch I don't deserve
If only I had a doctor
To help me out
The fine line of pain
And how much it costs
To take it away
When suffering is all i have in the bank
JaxSpade Apr 2019
A word is alive
It never dies
Some might say

That Its death
Lives in the breath
It takes
JaxSpade Feb 2019
The fall of an angel
The fall of a man
We could never be Jesus
Or understand

The heart in a human
In the angels hand
The evil genius
Revenge for the plan

The fall of paradise
Pain in sad
The air you breathe
Is Gods breath

As his seed grows
In the rised breast
The fruit trees
In the soils flesh

His Son shines
In the East and West
While the North and South
Poles spin

The fall of midnight
And the dark within
Lives the fall of creation
In Homosaphiens

I'm just a bad seed
And you look like me
Growing the dirt
From the dusts feet

The fall of my face
In the eyes teeth
Short of the glory
My God sees

You look like me
In the mirrors beam
Like the moon
Reflecting the suns dream


The fall of the day
The fall of the night
Always lands on the fate
Of a mans life
JaxSpade Aug 2018
I saw your light flashing red
             Warning the signals
All the signs languaged
         Hands and fingers
And I spun around like a siren
                   Without any sound

Scratching my chin
Tugging on my beard

I thought about it under the streetlights because there wasn't a moon
                                      tonight

                          just a fool
Painted in the red flashes
Of your lights blinking
In the dark sky
JaxSpade May 2020
The pain
It owns the hours
As it screams
Receipts

You waited in line

But the cash didn't register
Your fate

Because what you spent
Was flesh

How much does it cost
To keep someone else lot

You thought
Was yours

A man could lose the whole world

For what
It cost

The pain
Reminds the brain
Who is control
And it's not man's
Ghost

Every excruciating ache
Accompanied with a prayer
To take
It all away

Repeated again

The pain pulses
It beats and throbs
Relentlessly compulsive

I cry
As my veins bulge
And strain
And beg
For a microscopic
Mercy to
   Please
Remember I'm
Just a man

Tortured by the pain
Scorching
Burning up in flames
My tears boil in my
Name

Changed
To mud

The pain
It suffers me
In a weakened strength

That pushes me
To the edge of the razors blade

Sometimes you get cut trying to shave
Perhaps I should just grow a beard

And endure
The pain
To the story's end

That never comes
JaxSpade Aug 2019
The mood
Played a fiddle

With the music of a violin

I followed the same hips
To the tune of feminine

Then I mastered the gentle fiddling
And the plucks of pizzicato

Before the moon cried
Her desperate eyes

For the sound of a cello
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Black magic
Cats
Walking around the halls

The cauldron steams
Pieces of chants
And whispered grants
Under gowns

No tricks
No treats

Just a witch
Influenced by what
She saw on t.v.

Purrs and scratches
On backs
Magic nails
Under pointed hats
Black

Walking around the halls
You smell the stirring of vats
Of pigtails and rats

And you see a black cat crossing
Where you entered its path

And you wondered
Where is the way back
To the magic
You had
Before evil attacked

Your bag

    Of candy
#evil #halloween #lust
JaxSpade Feb 2019
There's no way I'm justified

Call me a racist
          Prejudice
I don't like your flesh
                       Or Face

Is that the best you got

You hate me
For what I'm not

Like you
Different

Why can't we all be the same
And get along

There's no way I'm justified

Judged by my race
Instead of human
The color of my tongue
                      In accents
The sound of immigrant
Screaming in a melting ***
Waving my flag
Instead of yours

I'm not justified
But I fight the war
For it is the privilege
Of the scar

Call me a racist
Because you are
Prejudice

Which side are you on

Standing in a Republic
With the love for a monarch

All this skin of religion
World renowned

There's no way i'm justified
But you are
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Parts of me
                      Ill my pieces
                     Thoughts to be
Just like Jesus
       Impossibly
Be the good neighbor

When I don't like nobody

Finding peace
Is a solution
Searched in it's rarity

     It is a puzzle piece
Lost which completes
                  Parts of me
                    I once had
Till I developed leprosy

My skin dripped fingers
As my heart fell off of me

Hunting down the cure
Was exhausting
And melancholy

My dissed ease
   Was a necessary
          By all means
I lost
Parts of me
                    Involuntarily

As I looked to the floor
I noticed everything

The broken pieces
Scattered
Were swept into a pile of me

Now I'm putting back
The parts of me
That never functioned
Properly

However broken
I never lost hope
Until I could find every peace

To assemble
The parts of me
That were always there

But I was too blind
To see
JaxSpade Jan 2019
On the highway
Staring at the lights fly by me
I drove at a slow pace

There was honking behind me
As a few birds flew beside me
With anger displayed

I didnt care
They could go around

Speeding bullets
Racing toward targets
Faster than patience
Would allow

I had a different destination
That drove me crazy
I wasn't sure who was at the wheel

I just saw lights
Passing my eyes
In the blurs of transportation

On the highway
I crashed and turned sideways
And wrecked into the situations

Blind spot
JaxSpade Aug 2018
I am something
I could never be
Stuck inside a pens ink

Error I spill my digital thinks
Yet I am not this poet you see
My talent is on shelveless books
Where reads never eye my being
Am I who
A poetical fruit
That bears a poet tree
On my pleas begged my knees
Could I ever so be
The one I could never
Pulsate in letters
That someone would love to read
JaxSpade Jan 2019
A spaceman told me about a moon

He said every once in a while
It would shine

Blue

And it kept coming around
Every once and a soon
And when it came last night
It followed me into my room

I howled like a wolf
In a beasts costume
But the next night it was gone
Like my lovers do

Now I'm waiting around
With a heart so blue

Waiting to color it moon
JaxSpade Oct 2019
She painted a picture
Of a whisper
It was colorblind
And void of any texture
She hung it on my inner ear
And I heard it speak a thousand words
In secret
I replied with my eyes
And she read what was inside
As we remained
Speechless
JaxSpade Jul 2019
Ghost
In my head
Shrieking around and pulling plugs
All my circuits

Run
       So wild

I hear techno
Synthesized
And my eyes
Turn circles
Inside out
Ghost in my blood
Pulmonary pulling
My lungs
Breathing so wild
Beating my drums
All my circuits
Running wired
Dancing on Red Bulls
And I'm still tired
I'm so scared
Ghost in my head
Whispering anesthesia
Chanting sacred words
Hallucinations
Form apparitions
Under my bed
Ghost in my invitation
Boo I love you
But I'm better off dead
Ghost in my
Ghost in my blood
Shrieking in love
Running through walls
All my curses

Run
So wild

I hear techno
Giorgio Moroder
74 is the new 24
In my graveyard
Of pulley bones
Ghost in my
Ghost in my
Head
Shrieking in dimensions
Of dementia and demons
All my purposes

Run
So wild

I hear technologics
Advancing over
Common sense
Ghost in my
Ghost in my
Machine
My head
My misery
All my senses

Run
So wild

I hear energy
Making me tired
Shrieking invisible
Fires of miserable
Wires short circuiting
Ghost in my peripheries
On the edge of mysteries
Blowing in ghastly winds
All my fears

Run
So wild

I'll hear anything
Ghost in my ear
I hear techno
Glowing light sticks
Ghost
In my head
Whispering

I'd be better off dead
JaxSpade Aug 2019
Letters formed in the vision of the world
They were an illusion of representation
As photons of light became electrochemical signals in the eye

The construction of the world unfolds
In a visual pathway through a neurological
Switchboard in our thalamus
Of interpretation in realitys time

We can switch on our functional magnetic resonance imaging machines
And see the rate of blood releasing oxygen
To the brains stream of life

This neuronal activity
Is a human ability
And our tendency to error is detected by
Our anterior cingulate cortex habitually

While our perceptual fragments fit together
And the prefrontal cortices flex their right
Words apear in the poets mirror
And we begin to see the flight of a bee around a pomegranate

We dream down the hole of a rabbit

You may develop Alice in wonderland syndrome
And the world becomes bigger than;
or the smallest planet

Words are a habit

Each pen drawing a quills magic
Hocus pocuses an abbra cadabbric

The focus is the lens binoculars
Telescopic under a microscopes optic

The neurons fire
And we just can't stop it
BOLD
(Blood Oxygen Level Dependent)
JaxSpade Mar 2020
I thought If I cried
It would help release
The feeling inside

I thought if I drained every last
Pain
Every last tear
Would dry

So I squeezed it all out of my mind
And every thing that remained
I cried

It left me dry
With desert eyes
And the vultures
Picked away at my sides

But I still felt the hard
As I begged for the vultures
To eat my heart

And they swallowed my pride

I thought If I cried
Mercy would somehow
Fall beside
My eyes

But the only thing that fell

Was I

Out of luck
And time
I wanted to wave goodbye

But there was no one there
To see me

Die
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Volcanoes
You knew they would erupt

All that lava
Dropped

Like it's hot

Pouring over
The edge

Of a time bomb

Volcanos
Molten marvels
Crimson hot devils
With movements caramel

Waiting to erupt


But...

You knew they would
~🌋~
JaxSpade Mar 2019
Parietal, frontal,
Occipital, temporal,

I lobe your cortex cerebral
I'm the type of postcentral gyrus
That would love to be your primary somatosensory cortex
A cortical homunculus
Neurologicaly mapping the anatomical divisions of your body
I want to stimulate your sensory and motor
Then take over your proprioception
With love and affection
I felt an ****** in your basal ganglia
Amygdala! I couldn't believe it!
All I had to do was a lil trepanation to achieve it
I love your brain

Now I'm going to eat it
JaxSpade Jun 2020
There is nothing new
Under the Sun
History repeats
I repeat this once again

Under the Sun
There is nothing new
Until heaven

We continue the same patterns
When we think we've created new ones

There is nothing knew
Under the Sun
That isn't shown
Until it does

History will repeat
Like we are told it would

But we still act surprised
When it happens all the time

Every year
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