These trenches are dark, wet, and deep
but She reminded me that the sea
was never a mystery.

She told me that the world was at my
fingertips; i just had to reach forward,
open my eyes, and see.

When i took her hand, the water froze.
All motion halted, as this Gaia revealed
that this was nativity.

Where is the shame?
Why do i still want you?
Why do i crave your name dripping
Off of my skin?

I still ache to bear your marks.
I need that sweet tension to break.
To be bitten, used, yours.
One last time.

I want so badly
To love myself.
To feel worthy
To feel understood.
No one will ever hold you
The way you cradle your self worth

And i am worth the moon and back.
With every dimpled smile
With every inch of this brown skin
I can be warmth personified.
I will fight for my love;

For my family
For my friends
And finally for myself.

I am the reason the sun rises.
A goddess of hope in your presence
Here to support your dreams
To remind you that you are dear.
I am empath, warrior, queen.

And even when im broken - jagged
Pieces of my heart stuck together
With bits of gold - i am still a prize
Not to be won
But to be experienced.

Someone youll never forget .
Someone youll forever regret losing.
So, Keep me close.

I keep thinking about possibilities,
Of you and i entangled;
Against a wall,
Under covers,
Exposed skin in the moonlight,
Hands on necks,
Bodies dipped in excited sweat.
I love how you make me feel
Like im the most beautiful woman
Youve ever seen
In the world.
Like i, in my unabashed glory, was created to be touched by
Every part of you.
The best part is i know
you feel it too.

Go quietly go peacefully
Into the night; into
those dark places
Go alone. No witnesses.

Approach the troubled lurker
In the decrepid corners of your
Broken being. Follow his lead.
Keep it silent; keep it secret.

Fall, drive, swallow, cut
The numbness out
Leave your soul. Leave a note
Kiss the ones that tried to love you.
But dont look back.

Disappear. refuse to try.
Im giving up. There are no
Winners in this ether.
I will be a fool no longer.

There's this joke
I forget how it goes.
No wait, its life.
Everyone laughs until we die.

Nothing is funnier than
My desperation to heal.
Forever damaged, trying
To cover my wounds like
A piece of alluminum foil
Too small to reach the edges
Of the bowl.

Ripping and tearing,
Falling apart. Caged in
A tank. Swimming with sharks.
Why am i alive? To feel this pain
It seems. Its the only thing
that feels real to me.

The chamber is empty
But I promise to fill it
To jumpstart the ending.
Just remember me, well;
you dodged a bullet
Even with your help
I couldn't save me.