No one ever tells you
that the little things will stick.

The sound of his voice when he was stern.
The feeling of his large hands on my arms.

The smell of his aftershave clinging to me
after every forced hug. He always held on too tightly.

Suffocating my being. Squeezing pieces of my heart
out of every single pore.

Outlining the existing cracks in my soul.
And now, he smiles, while I remain stuck.

"Who left those holes in you?"
She simply asked the moon
As if the answer wasn't clear
As if he weren't sitting there
On the other side of her earth.

"Did you have good intentions?"
He asked, as if she could do him
Any reasonable harm. As if she could
Slip into his heart unnoticed.
As if she appeared there at all.
The gall of his question.

"Did i mean something to you?"
She replied. Tears filling her eyes
She already knew the answer.
But it no longer mattered.
She always paled in comparison.

When i die, don't cry for me.
Know that I've been fighting
For an eternity.

I may have lost my life
But i never lost sight of those that
Truly loved me.

This is not about them.
They could not mend my pieces.
They are removed from my service.

Just remember the joy I tried to bring.

Please put these desperate fingers to work. Sit down and focus on smooth
Uncomplicated lines,
Bright beautiful colors,
And how the light turns your eyes into warm amber.

Instead, my hands shake and find my face.
They wipe away frustrated tears
because happiness is not easy
when I cannot see it as a possibility.
But still, I wish I could draw
anything but conclusions.

You cannot love me back together
I am a fine white powder
There is no more space
In me.

There are gaps and holes where i
Used to be. And i take rejection well;
With a bucket, with a rope attached,
Water filled.

What more could you ask of me?
I am devastating. I do not fit.
I am retreating soon. Into the dark.
A place called home.

Neverending, beautiful,
And if you look far enough
Into the abyss
You can see it.

Nature's wild affair; the ocean kissing moonlight, the creamy Milky way,
and a billion twinkling lives.

Some would say your soul could compare. That we are all universes
In our own right.

But, i still exist in awe of gaia's magic.
Her science. Her godly work.
The night, her gift, belongs to lovers;
To us.

Your face fills my mind.
Tear stained cheeks.
Trembling brown eyes;
even you -
so sweet,
Kind, and damaged;
My kin.
Owner of this very skin.
Burned and beaten
By an unforgiving sun
In a distant forest.
You saved me.
When our world
Fell apart around us.
While we sat under this rotten tree,
Even there -
You vowed
to help me find peace.