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 Jan 2014 Jackie Andary
Solaces
She held something in her hands.. child ghost was full of color.. she walked up to me and smiled.. although she could not speak I knew she wanted to give me something.. I opened my hands and she gave me 4 butterflies made of blue light.. they lit up my face and hands.. she then looked to the sky.. I let them go and she went with them..
heaven awaits..
 Dec 2013 Jackie Andary
marina
11:09
 Dec 2013 Jackie Andary
marina
what was real at the start
doesn't matter any more;
in the end, we're all
imaginary
i'm very upset right now oh man
I miss hearing you excitedly explain your dreams about Bill Murray saving your life
I miss hearing you explain why you never take Advil
I miss hearing your voice slur "what" and "hmm" together in a way only you could,

asking a question and simultaneously thinking about it too.

I miss telling you about why my mom takes the scissors out of my room.
I miss telling you "sorry i called last night" when i got drunk and you
weren't around,

(even though that never really stopped)

I miss my heart forgetting how to work every time we were together,
like morse code through my body pounding the scaredest possible "wow"

I miss you telling me "You're the worst" with a cocky smile.
I miss lying under the stars with you,
just looking while our friends made out beside us,
my neck uncomfortably on your arm because i was too shy to lie on your chest.

I miss sitting on your lap and worrying I would crush you,
and you reassuring me out of pride that I wouldn't,
that I couldn't.

I miss that day when we were drunk in you're best friends bed,
I was too scarred to kiss you so I just giggled,
and too drunk to remember how it eventually happened

I miss you making me feel small and beautiful and wanted.
I miss you making me feel big in a different way than my height ever could.
 Dec 2013 Jackie Andary
So Dreamy
She loves him in the way morning air keeps her eyes open
In the way white daisies dancing through the wind
In the way salt water dancing in her hair
Or white sand that breathing under her feet

She loves him in the way fresh berries picked up at 5 am in the morning
Newspaper melted in one hand, chocolate melted in her tongue
And there's a cup of hot tea with smoke billowing
When sun shining bright on the summer morning

And birds keep singing

She loves him in the way tropical jungle that grows in her veins
Wild yellow honeysuckle that keeps her imagination alive
Or a field full of red poppies that blooms in her chest
And a watercourse that flood through her blood

She loves him in the way old songs that keeps her memories walk behind
Or sounds of blue waves that running in her mind
Smells of old library and fragile papers that makes her remind
Of the way sunflowers kissing the sun, smiling to the blue sky

And shooting stars falling down on a dark night

She loves him in the way butterflies bottled in her stomach
While cold night air whispers her name too much
When pale moon light burns the whole city
Ended with condensed vapor that ride into her nasal cavity

But she doesn't love him in the way red roses blossoms in her heart
Thorn of the red roses makes her lung hurt

Because
He doesn't love her back
He never does

That's the truth.
For everyone who read this: This is my first English poetry and I know I'm not really good at grammar (in English). So, I'm sorry if there are so many mistakes.
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