Compassion decomposing,
As if we were all just posing.
Losing.
What was. What’s there but lost.
Clouded lenses looking through blinded loss.
I must connect mind over matter.
Or is mind just consistent of matter?
Reasoning lost.
On my death bed is when I’ll feel the cost.
I’m lost,
Lost,
Lost.
Please dear moon, give me meaning for my dreaming no longer has meaning.
I’m seething, it’s nothing but deceiving.
Oh moon, I’m singing, please give me meaning on this oh so cold night so I can feel as if I have some sense of being.

So the story goes
A happy family
With the blinds closed
A charming father
One who touched his own daughter
Alongside her mother
One who bruised her own step daughter
A man with charm and an obsession to appear opulent
He sang of broken rage
Masked over by a steady beat
Disguising the way he’d take a seat
Taking everything, leaving you beat
Conceited and consumed within himself
He had no time for anybody else
My dear step mom
She appeared so sweet
She was a cheat, she never loved me
She like to drink, get aggressive
I’d get beat, watching those gritted teeth
It took me awhile to see what’s beneath
Accepting life is not always as should be
I am not a victim but a learner in this society

Beating
Bleeding
Beating myself
Casting constant bleeding from self inflicted wounds
My bleating soul cries out
I have no way to bleed out
I need a way out
I gotta lot of self doubt
Don’t wanna deal with this ****
Take a pill n pass out
Stuck in my self drowning blackout
I walk around
Head bent down
Drowning all sound
I’m letting myself drown
Bein beat down by the vicious sound of the stormy clouds
Gotta get outta this crowd
Where it’s sad an loud
Where I can breath and let myself bleed
Surrounded by the cool breeze
I can think
Be who I wanna be
See through clear skies
The clouds fallen behind me
I can see
The girl I wanna be
Give me some time n all make her mine
Just give me some time and she’ll be mine
The girl I wanna be
I will be
When she beats through by beating the bleeding
Her self inflicted wounds
All be a warrior soon
Just Give me some time to patch up these wounds

Down the block
You coerced with sweet talk
Steady like a hawk
Taking your time as you walk
It’s past 1 on the clock
You knock
Wish I could say I’m shocked
My hearts blocked
Lost somewhere along the boardwalk
I’d jaywalk but I see the night hawk
It creates a road block
I’m stuck on the sidewalk

(C)

*** is no sweet gum, but it makes you a wholesome *** who pours out all their income
Acting like a ****
Is this what you wanna become
Always glum
Balancing your hum that lost it’s silver tongue
A slow beating drum
Don’t let that be your sum
Put both hands on the drum and chew some ******* bubblegum.

(C)

Let’s make this brief
You were never mine to keep
All tell you to look left as I skyrocket right
All the way out of your sight
I start missing you in the quiet night
But not having you eases the fear of losing you
Oh how I miss you but dare do I have you
Tempted to be near you
I forget nothing’s mine
Dragging myself back in line
Choosing protected and forever tormented
I long to feel connected
Subdued
Arrested
In my demented state of mind

(C)

He had lots of pretty white snow falling in front of me. I couldn’t help but dipping my pinky in and snorting some lines. A white hazey day, the snows been falling all day. It’s no fun inside, look at all the snow outside. We can build a snow man and build our dreams high. Don’t think about the consequences. Snow never melts when your in a white haze. Did you think a girl like me would say no? You build me high and turn me meek. I snort lines down by your feet. We tweak and forget to sleep. Can you hear me screaming down by the creek? It might have only sounded like a shriek. Happy binge week I hope to see you next week.

(C)

Look at my face and trace.
Color me blue,
Dip me in colors that will remind me of you.
Outline my hips,
Your fingers on my lips.
Shade me grey, that's quite okay.
A canvas colored with sadness.
Maybe this way you wont vanish.
Trace me blue,
Trace me staring at you.
Me beside you.
Flowers in bloom in a room with you.
Trace me with you,
Do I dare and love you?

(C)

Indulged with serenity,
Slight conflict with peace.
Clear headed and no longer masked.
Clear visions on a non foggy path.
Walking hand in hand, one foot in front of the other, and making sure to help one another.
The path is windy and thin
But together we shall perform.
It's one day at a time, and just for today we live at bay but not astray.
Merely remember but do not forget:
Feelings dipped in sorrow, hence pain, hence regret.
Remember for today, tomorrow, and always.

Kiss me till my lips bleed
Kiss away the pain
Kiss me till I beg you
In every single way
Kiss me till the world stops
Teardrops stained your face
Dark with roaring pain
Take away the pain

(C)

Defeat,
Tired and worn down.
Her tears on a timer,
Ticking with each beat.
Impulse for sanctuary,
It doesn't wither away.
Striving for simplistic,
But it doesn't go that way.
Casting dark spells to try and make it go away.
But unfortunately it just won't go that way.

(C)