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1.7k · Jun 2018
Teenage wasteland
Jack Jun 2018
Need drugs for my composure just can't seem to stay sober
Need closure to stay sober oh what overexposure
Dilated pupils and blood shot eyes the voices are mean she calls out and cries
Bars of white powder, crisp and cut clean
Coated with fentanyl just not for the eye to  see
A band-aid with a bow tie or a fix with a twist
I can't count the days sober
Oh what overexposure

(C)
1.2k · Aug 2018
Shades
Jack Aug 2018
Sad like blue,
But many shades of cool.
All I see is red,
Fire inside my head.
Luminescent like white,
Yet boring but bold.
Divergent in black,
Enthralling in the darkness.
I challenge the contrast.

(C)
1.1k · Jul 2018
A phantom kisser
Jack Jul 2018
A phantom kisser leans down to kiss my lips as he presses himself against my timid body, allowing me to let go.
Fear ingulfed fades away,
Replaced by peace.
Mind and body collide,
Set aside the hurt.
So far and distant,
But so close all the same.
A phantom kisser,
So far and near.
And oh so dear.

(C)
549 · Apr 2019
Rum or Bubblegum
Jack Apr 2019
*** is no sweet gum, but it makes you a wholesome *** who pours out all their income
Acting like a ****
Is this what you wanna become
Always glum
Balancing your hum that lost it’s silver tongue
A slow beating drum
Don’t let that be your sum
Put both hands on the drum and chew some ******* bubblegum.

(C)
545 · Jun 2018
A Darker Shade
Jack Jun 2018
She was a darker shade of crimson
A blood red in a white canopy
A glaze of hate within her core
Fermented in her bones was a black heart
A venamous kind of blood streaming through her veins
A healing soul
A darker shade
527 · Apr 2019
Road block
Jack Apr 2019
Down the block
You coerced with sweet talk
Steady like a hawk
Taking your time as you walk
It’s past 1 on the clock
You knock
Wish I could say I’m shocked
My hearts blocked
Lost somewhere along the boardwalk
I’d jaywalk but I see the night hawk
It creates a road block
I’m stuck on the sidewalk

(C)
520 · Oct 2018
Masks and parades
Jack Oct 2018
I wilt
Slowly perishing under my mask made of smooth silk. Grasping for control
To make peace
And let my ashes settle.
Condemned beneath my skin
Scorched by boiling blood.
Eager, yearning for acceptance.
My timid mind plastered by paranoia,
Ingulfed with fright and pitiful confidence.
Head spinning
People looking
Thoughts crazed.
The silence outside settles
And begins to deafen.

(C)
Jack Apr 2019
Sunshine beside my twilight
Always thinkin bout you near midnight
Gotta sit tight
And make sure you don’t fall out of sight
waiting for your call
propped up against the wall
I wish to sing and have a ball
Having you catch me when I fall
You stole my glance
It happened by fortunate chance
You intoxicate and inhance
My forever romance


(C)
492 · Oct 2018
Destructed Youth
Jack Oct 2018
I meet your eerie
stagnant stare.
You create havoc and terror
Within my head,
Even after you're long gone.
An imprinted song,
Always on.
A brittle consistency
in the way you behave.
A strange
Form of strange.


(C)
481 · Nov 2018
Trace Me
Jack Nov 2018
Look at my face and trace.
Color me blue,
Dip me in colors that will remind me of you.
Outline my hips,
Your fingers on my lips.
Shade me grey, that's quite okay.
A canvas colored with sadness.
Maybe this way you wont vanish.
Trace me blue,
Trace me staring at you.
Me beside you.
Flowers in bloom in a room with you.
Trace me with you,
Do I dare and love you?

(C)
428 · Jul 2018
Bliss in the sky
Jack Jul 2018
I tremble when you stare,
I quiver under your touch,
I melt beneath your heat.
We mold together like we are meant to be.
We orbit around the stars in sanctuary, we do not meddle for we are whole.
You turn my sky bright.
Oh how you torch my blissful heart.

(C)
394 · Apr 2019
a pack a day
Jack Apr 2019
A pack a day
Smoked away
I was provoked
And ended up soaked
Cloaked in smoke
Rolling up all the dope
Tryna compensate and cope
I looked through the telescope
And saw death written in my horoscope

(C)
371 · Jul 2018
Defeat
Jack Jul 2018
Defeat,
Tired and worn down.
Her tears on a timer,
Ticking with each beat.
Impulse for sanctuary,
It doesn't wither away.
Striving for simplistic,
But it doesn't go that way.
Casting dark spells to try and make it go away.
But unfortunately it just won't go that way.

(C)
326 · Oct 2018
Out of In
Jack Oct 2018
I sing our song that cadenced whisper
I'm afraid to say our song is over
My exertion to turn your sky bright has run thin
So I give in, a silent sin in the wind
From within
I fall out instead of in
Out of love with you
so soon on this night
It's not beacause of your fright
We never fit quite right
And that's alright
I'm not your only source of light
Nor your fleeting running knight
You have to fight to see the light
Now I give you smite
I'm so sorry
But this is not permanent blight
Please stay safe tonight
Despite my bite

(C)
314 · Aug 2018
"Friends"
Jack Aug 2018
I'm sorry I moved away, I'm sorry I left. Im sorry I dont see you anymore, I'm sorry we dont talk.
But I think about you all.
Not from time to time, but all the time.
I still care about you, even if you dont feel the same.
I would shoot you a text, but my fear of rejection overwhelms the urge.
And then I wonder, why couldn't you just stay?
Some of you mere miles away, some of you bound across the country.
Again and again,
Why couldn't you just stay?

(C)
313 · Mar 2019
White day
Jack Mar 2019
He had lots of pretty white snow falling in front of me. I couldn’t help but dipping my pinky in and snorting some lines. A white hazey day, the snows been falling all day. It’s no fun inside, look at all the snow outside. We can build a snow man and build our dreams high. Don’t think about the consequences. Snow never melts when your in a white haze. Did you think a girl like me would say no? You build me high and turn me meek. I snort lines down by your feet. We tweak and forget to sleep. Can you hear me screaming down by the creek? It might have only sounded like a shriek. Happy binge week I hope to see you next week.

(C)
293 · Jul 2018
Undoubted
Jack Jul 2018
Kis me in a bliss with your perfect seamless kiss.
This boundless unclouded feeling
Doesn't go unnoticed or dismissed.
I insist to kiss
Even when we untwist.
244 · Apr 2019
Look left
Jack Apr 2019
Let’s make this brief
You were never mine to keep
All tell you to look left as I skyrocket right
All the way out of your sight
I start missing you in the quiet night
But not having you eases the fear of losing you
Oh how I miss you but dare do I have you
Tempted to be near you
I forget nothing’s mine
Dragging myself back in line
Choosing protected and forever tormented
I long to feel connected
Subdued
Arrested
In my demented state of mind

(C)
225 · Jul 2018
Kiss me
Jack Jul 2018
Kiss me till my lips bleed
Kiss away the pain
Kiss me till I beg you
In every single way
Kiss me till the world stops
Teardrops stained your face
Dark with roaring pain
Take away the pain

(C)
220 · Sep 2019
Childhood
Jack Sep 2019
So the story goes
A happy family
With the blinds closed
A charming father
One who touched his own daughter
Alongside her mother
One who bruised her own step daughter
A man with charm and an obsession to appear opulent
He sang of broken rage
Masked over by a steady beat
Disguising the way he’d take a seat
Taking everything, leaving you beat
Conceited and consumed within himself
He had no time for anybody else
My dear step mom
She appeared so sweet
She was a cheat, she never loved me
She like to drink, get aggressive
I’d get beat, watching those gritted teeth
It took me awhile to see what’s beneath
Accepting life is not always as should be
I am not a victim but a learner in this society
155 · Oct 2018
I'm Falling Tonight
Jack Oct 2018
Hey come over, this war
Just might be over.
Who gives a **** if I'm not sober?
I've always wanted a lick, a hit, a try.
Okay so I really like to get high.
I dont wanna get sober,
I don't even wanna try.
So all cry.. silently tonight.
I wont bite, alright?
Not like those nights.
All try to be bright but not out of sight.
Common let's just get high tonight.
You know shes right,
I'm falling caught without fright.
Where is my knight?
Hell I'm already falling.
So now I write.


(C)
150 · May 2020
Meaning
Jack May 2020
Compassion decomposing,
As if we were all just posing.
Losing.
What was. What’s there but lost.
Clouded lenses looking through blinded loss.
I must connect mind over matter.
Or is mind just consistent of matter?
Reasoning lost.
On my death bed is when I’ll feel the cost.
I’m lost,
Lost,
Lost.
Please dear moon, give me meaning for my dreaming no longer has meaning.
I’m seething, it’s nothing but deceiving.
Oh moon, I’m singing, please give me meaning on this oh so cold night so I can feel as if I have some sense of being.
141 · Jun 2018
Soon.
Jack Jun 2018
Iridescence in the casting gloom.
Only active blasting doom.
Attractive in masking bloom.
Oh I fear it is my tomb.
123 · Aug 2019
Patching bleeding wounds
Jack Aug 2019
Beating
Bleeding
Beating myself
Casting constant bleeding from self inflicted wounds
My bleating soul cries out
I have no way to bleed out
I need a way out
I gotta lot of self doubt
Don’t wanna deal with this ****
Take a pill n pass out
Stuck in my self drowning blackout
I walk around
Head bent down
Drowning all sound
I’m letting myself drown
Bein beat down by the vicious sound of the stormy clouds
Gotta get outta this crowd
Where it’s sad an loud
Where I can breath and let myself bleed
Surrounded by the cool breeze
I can think
Be who I wanna be
See through clear skies
The clouds fallen behind me
I can see
The girl I wanna be
Give me some time n all make her mine
Just give me some time and she’ll be mine
The girl I wanna be
I will be
When she beats through by beating the bleeding
Her self inflicted wounds
All be a warrior soon
Just Give me some time to patch up these wounds
95 · Sep 2018
Feelings of sobriety
Jack Sep 2018
Indulged with serenity,
Slight conflict with peace.
Clear headed and no longer masked.
Clear visions on a non foggy path.
Walking hand in hand, one foot in front of the other, and making sure to help one another.
The path is windy and thin
But together we shall perform.
It's one day at a time, and just for today we live at bay but not astray.
Merely remember but do not forget:
Feelings dipped in sorrow, hence pain, hence regret.
Remember for today, tomorrow, and always.

— The End —