mister, i have to say this
not to your face, just to get out
what was a medicine
now a poison

it's the longing, mister
that you fake, that i accept
because everytime we try to touch
we both disappear to each other

don't you notice?
you've been alive way longer
than me, mister

just
this is where i **** up:
i thought you were perfect

I guess
poetry can be used
to inspire resolve

but I'm looking for
the kind of direct, boldface salve
that spawns trust, eats doubt
and sifts the tar from under my ribs

"The medium is the message."
- **** McLuhan said

Someone slams your precious art
Remain Open
Callously pokes and prods your heart
Remain Open
The world wants you to close the door
Remain Open
Wants you curled up on the floor
*Remain Open

Flesh of pallor
         Night of rose
                 Sunshine scented breeze.

Your honey-dew disposition was in want of truth
The curve of your bare shoulder, serrated.
The shadowed offering lying in the lamplit corner
Turquoise flavoured were the high pitch screams.

Insidious undertones of posies, fresh
Velveteen cushions were exuding century-stale fluff.

I looked at your phosphorescent eyes
But never once looked in them
For if I did, I would have seen the last bars of Fur Elise.

Dimmed, diminished, daunting
The broken blue edged china vase stared at me, unflinching.
I looked back and then I heard
A thousand magpies, unending.

So, I turned my face and took a step
but my stride was unfaithful to my desire
You called me back, and so I left
My plasma was on f i r e.

I haven't slept for nights,
Waking up in my trials
Mistaking midnights for mornings,
Tired by the lack of dreams
And a need to see the ones I think come true.

I work like a clock now
Going round and round
Rising up only to fall,
Its all a routine,
The ticks follow some more lost ticks.

And I walk through rooms across rooms
Not noticing the doors,
And I end up in places I should have known
But I still don't,
I'm lost in a city I grew up in.

I listen to people as to how they failed
And I convince myself to follow them,
Though I know my ways but I abandon them
Due to my lack of trust in self and I complain of others
Never trusting me.

I sort through the truths
Discarding the unacceptable,
Constructing a few new
And feed them to the ones I meet
Watching myself crave for a confession and becoming a lie.

I ask others of their well being
Making through their masks,
And then they ask in return
I can't trust the words I reply
But they do.

I go out hating my home
And out in the world I see the filth
So I return alone.
The things I could do to better
Instead out there I become one with the guilt.

And I fall in love
And pray to fall out the next second,
I look at us and see how he is better
And then I look at the lovers
And pray that we never become them.

And I fail, I fall
As I stand steady
Grabbing at air for balance,
And I look around for stability
But instead I self destruct!