Look deep down inside yourself. What do you see? Do you see yourself, or someone else? Do you see the space left by someone else? Do you see hurt? Do you feel hurt? Have you ever trusted totally and completely? Have you ever said forever and meant it? Have you ever loved a love that was going to last forever?
         Forever is forever until it ends. And it always will- it always does.
         Have you ever felt pain and hurt? Hurt so deep, pain so devastatingly ending? A pain so deep that you want to die? A pain that will last forever? Forever? Forever….
         Forever is forever until it ends. And it always will- someday it will.

A man sits in torment, drowning in pain and fear, never to know the joy of peace. A night of pleasure. A night of Hell. An eternity of agony awaits for one so foolish as to tempt the fates. For he knows well the flesh may succumb, but the soul shall never have peace.
         Always must torment rule. No rest can one find. For crimes so vile, perhaps even the Devil would cast such as him out into the void, and then even the soul must die. For you see, death is the most tempting of all sins.
         No retribution or punishment can come near to atonement. So you see, to escape the agony he feels every second of every day; to inflict death upon himself would bring him nothing, but nothing is better than what he faces now. For his pride and honor are gone, so a cowards escape would mean nothing but no more pain.

The all-pervading, characterless background of the universe-
This is the void.
It isn't object nor senses.
It is the region of illusions.

Do we deceive ourselves?
Assuredly.
How else do we sustain in the years of pain?
Through the sneers and hasty aversions of those who recognize our deformities?
The mirror image of their own intolerable irregularities?
The antidote to shame is arrogance;
To prison: an escape.

Alone, on the run;
If only it weren't so cold.
If only it weren't so dark.
You're frightened, in need of kind words -  
A tender touch.
These things were yours once, but no more.
Gone, like the wind.
Now there's only you.
One against the world.
Alone.

She stands at the edge of a forest with arms outstretched,
And her shadow mingles with the long shadows of firs on the snow.
She bends at a fire.
Beyond the cottage, faint in the crystalline night,
A wolf howls and is answered by another.
She brushes back her hair, comes to lie beside him on the bed of feathers.
She runs on the summer beach on the lake, and he believes that she is laughing.
He tries to go to her, but is held back.
She is standing on the edge of the lake, calling to him,
Calling his name with one hand beckoning, but when he tries to move toward her,
She fades into the mist.

She danced and receded, dancing.
She reached imploringly, and when he did not go to her she receded,
And sometimes people interposed themselves,
And sometimes a burgeoning forest,
And sometimes a swirling fog,
And sometimes only distance.
His feet would not move.
He was dumb.
He wanted to compress his love into a gesture, but his arms were stone.
Stronger than his will, other forces drew her away.
Sometimes she was laughing, running toward him through the brilliant winter,
but when he reached to hold her, she was gone.
Sometimes her face filled his world, weeping, entreating, her mouth helpless with passion…
And sometimes she was leading a child away from him, and no matter how desperately he called, layers of time passed between them.
And in the end, he was left alone with silence.

"I know how you feel."
"I see why you feel that way."
Really?
You know what it feels like to have your father whip you like a slave?
To have your mother turn her head as soon as things go affray?
To have your allies abandon you?
To have your family betray you?
To constantly feel nothing but rage and hatred?
To be ordered to execute or be executed?
To fear your past because it's chasing you like prey?
To want to hurt others because it's all you've ever been shown?
To be told to be yourself, but only being punished when you do?
To be told to live and to die?
To be both dead inside but forced to be alive?
You have no idea how I feel,
And don't pretend like you care, either.