you are like Balthasar
getting into business
that isn't yours
and running around without
asking permission.
taking information
into your own hands.
civil blood makes civil hands
unclean
and i know that you think
that it was right.
it would seem that
your mind is distorted
and you do not know
left from right.

stop being Balthasar.
everyone loathes him,
and if Romeo would not have
been blinded by his feelings
I'm sure he would see as
i do now.

my need to get away is
so great that I am even
considering applying to
a school up north to
finish my high school years.

isn't that supposed to be a sign, mom?
I am utterly miserable being here and
living with the people I call "family".
the kids and teachers at school are
more a family to me than you'll ever be.

I do hope I get in,
I have the grades for it.
maybe they'll see how hell bent I am
on getting away that they'll even give me
a free ride.

Rachel, it's just weird. You're always on the phone with her... it's just weird.

Mom, dear God if only you knew how much that hurt me. Those words struck my heart and tore it into pieces. Those words broke me.

Worst part was... you knew we were talking. How do you think that made her feel? Think she felt as much pain as I did? She just so happened to come back at that moment and I had to put on a smile like nothing hurt me.

I can't take it anymore The fake smiles and the lies and the *need to feel. How will I survive this summer? Being around my family will drive me utterly insane. I can't even have you by me for one day this week just because of how afraid I am. If people can easily the signs at school, then sure as hell my Mom can tell that I have fallen for you

You have become my crutch and my dear, I am very glad it is you by my side. If only you could really be here. In a perfect world, you'd be by my side and I'd have you close and my scars wouldn't exist. The books I'd read would have perfect endings and the songs I'd sing would always be on key. And the world would be just as beautiful as you are to me.

Drift away darling... I might not be here when you wake up.

I can't think straight
my eyes are blurry and red
tears are rolling down my cheeks
I couldn't bear to wake you up
but I should've
my god, I really should have.
maybe I wouldn't be here
in this place right now
with wet bed sheets now
stained red with
tears of my
blood.

cutting doesn't release pain anymore,
it just lets me feel more.
how am I supposed to let go when
all I seem to do is let the feelings back in?
I can't take it anymore.
this constant pain.
I feel so whole,
yet so empty and I
just cant take it!

I know I am happy
yet I feel so down.
why is it that
every time i feel good
I somehow find a new
reason to get sad
again?

I could kiss you
                            and
touch you
                  and
love you
                for my life time
and more.

Something about you
                                      brings my body
to life
           and my brain
flickering fast
                         and
my heart
                beating like crazy.

Love is quite complicated
                                              but it seems as if
we fall gracefully on top of
                                                each other
as if we were the
                              m  iss     ing       pi       ece
to the puzzle that is
                                    human souls.