can we pretend, at least for now, that i am fine?
as strange as it is here, i find comfort in despair
time gets lost, as forever feels like yesterday
alone inside my head, my thoughts become useless
i close my eyes and drift silently into the void
disturbed by the noise here, i try to remain sane
absent of emotions, with an undecided mind
i struggle to locate, the frequency of reality, in which to believe
i remain hollow, left feeling empty inside
why am i even here? am i even alive?
this memory won't fade, it won't go away!
it's too familiar to me, i'm far from okay!
my world is out of focus, it's so far out of reach
will i ever calm down? it's getting too hard to breathe!
i live in a nightmare, with no closure or rest!
paranoia follows me around, like some kind of pest!
when panic knocks at the door, it's time to hide
stuck in this moment, frozen in time
this is all getting too real! this feeling is all mine
remember before?
let's just pretend, that i'm fine?
This one is out of the second chapter. I had lots of clean and sober fun writing about not so clean and sober days. Actually pretty nerve racking writing about a feeling that you are no longer experiencing, but it feels so good when finished.