The tree portrays trust to tangle in the winds gusts.

Allow your mind to envelope my words in ways the leaves move freely.

Entwine with my body, silent secrets, sweet something's, and shadow my sheer sorrow.

I've always spoken in similes
even before I knew the word.
Id speak and yell for help
but no one understood therefore
I wasn't heard or felt.

So I explained things like my pain or my loneliness or how the rain makes me feel.
I explained colors as tastes and my pain as a constant dull ache, one where my hearts feels like its manually beating and how being alone was like a room with no windows or light accompanied by an elephant that loved to sit right on my chest.
I explained rain like the feeling of hearing a babies first laugh. It's the freeness and freshness that feels like a blessing.
Or so I say.

I explain love more often and most haven't had that true one to grasp what It means,
so I tell them descriptively..
Love is the vastness and brightness of the night sky in Alaska. It's the real meaning of being rich. It's safety and peace. Love is sitting at the table with always something to eat. Love is a northern breeze, ever so changing but always evident.
Love is a dream.

A poets language is universal. Their writings are pure emotion which anyone could relate.
I continue to articulate what I need to convey in a way that we all know and I write so it's on display.

My hairs coming out in single extensions
but they're not that;
they were once rooted in my head.
This happens every year bringing a new fear of what could be and what isn't.
I've said goodbye too many times this year and losing my hair is just
another one to whisper.
They say hair holds value, whether its comfort, memories, or any sense of spirituality
and part of me is dying
but I think thats okay.
Ive been nothing but a phoenix all my life,
rising from ashes,
spreading my wings to fall again
but I always got back up
more of a warrior than the last time.
I run my hand through my hair and sprinkle the shed across the grass much like the ashes
I continue to rise from.
I know the truth is within me even if
it's hard to stomach.
The pit in it will soon sprout and root in my intestines and grow something new.
Im laying this year to rest with both my best friends and the yearning for what I cant have.

Its criminal to live life without who you're meant to.

Yes, I know I'm meant to

But now you've made a decision on a bet I guess that it'll work out between you two.

I wanna say I hope it does but im saying it behind a clenched jaw

I kinda hope it doesn't work out and you realize like I did that you made a mistake. I don't even know why you called me saying you're still gonna walk away after all you said

don't you want real and undeniable? but I guess I wasn't that reliable. im sorry I didn't know sooner. I guess this is goodbye my blue 2    I.D

Trust is hard to come by.

What's harder is knowing you're the reason why.

Meet me at the football field, you know the one.
Just give me a conversation and you can go on.
Lets just live in the moment and reflect,
whatever you want to do after, I respect.
I feel like I've give you both that thus far
and will continue to because
the latter isn't what I want.
I want you to be happy, fulfilled.
and maybe thats yalls deal
but I wont stop yearning until I
know how you really feel.
I swear I know how you feel.
and I know it cant be easy.
This hasn't been for me
but I want you to understand clearly.
I have always been yours
and you know its true.
You have always been mine
and we know thats true.
I've been away preparing a home for you
and none of that really matters
if you've already got that one in you two.
So meet me at the football field
and let me explain, i've let you live looking at me in vain to ease the pain but you do not know the truth that I have proof.
I have reason behind all of my moves.
so please meet me at the football field.

Let my arms be your cradle.

If not my arms, my words,

cause they can be heard, saved for later.

I'm begging you to recognize the pain that Im in.

The walls are caving in..
There's not much more I can Take.
The anxiety is taking over..
All these feelings I can't fake.
I like you a lot.. But I guess now it's too late.
I'll repeat that as my heart breaks

It took all year for the imprint of your promise to erase from my finger
and
In 7 years I will have a body you have not touched.

you took every little light that flickered inside me and smothered them until they were no more.

Then you told me how much you wished I was the old me,

but You killed her.