1
For the small gasp of pleasure
And the world changing colours 
Turning into a painting
And the feeling of flying 

2 
To stay afloat the boat
As the sea tries to drag you down 
Burying you in the depths

3 
Because the pleasure leaves
Reality hits
And the shame grows

456 
As the hate comes back
And your chest fills with water 
And disappointment in yourself

Take me to heaven
The border between this universe and the next
I want to see the moon, and I want to see the grass
Let me see all the lights, manufactured and natural
Let me climb so high only to be brought down to earth
Let me cry and laugh
As the world stretches out before me

Take me to our little heaven
A place both natural and manufactured
Both tall but not tall enough
Where the stars meet the grass
Where hidden treasures lay
Where my heart races fast
But I sit comfortably

Take me to the rock
Where I lay sleepily
And hang on by my fingertips
Where my heart broke
And was stitched back together
Take me to where I first fell in love with you
And stay with me there forever

To the first man I loved
You taught me the harsh truth of this world;
That living is painful, cruel, a burden
I saw it break you bones and tear your skin
I saw you crumble beneath the weight of it
I wish you taught me how to stand up and fight against it

I saw you complacent in your own demise
And learnt from you
I saw you crack from the pressure
And I too began to crack
You taught me how to care for others
You were my first patient
But you never taught me how to care for myself

You were weak and now I am too
A prisoner to your own demons
Unable to protect yourself or me
I thank you now
For teaching me the worst of the world
And allowing me to struggle to find the light