Oh, how the alarm clock goes
I flex my arms and curl my toes
The night air creeps through an open window
I feel the chill of it funnel into my room and grow
I am the harvester of vitality
Reaping the seeds of death that I sow
They lie on their beds with unignited fright
They are a disease to my crops, an unwelcome blight
I strike them off this field of light
Seeing the gore drip, I just have to laugh
This is my yield
A 2 AM bloodbath

Down but never out
that is the promise
my oath to oblige

Torment courses deeply
into my grey matter
at the very spark of defeat

Today I may buckle
Tonight I might hesitate
but know it as truth
when I swear I will not break

She stood there disposed and steady
I sweated anxiety, surely not ready
Her soft eyes were brim-filled with the dark
Her cloaked smile contained neither malice nor spark
I sensed little use in a bargain or petition
My gaze sadly descended in submission
I went up and kissed Lady Death
Putrid decay hung heavily on her breath
Her chalky arms poured me a glass of scarlet wine
Her silky lips whispered seductively
"Baby, you're mine"

Gurgled belches of blood echo through the night
All thanks to a dagger
Hilt-deep in a freak's right cheek
Severed flesh makes a truly stunning sight
Streams of crimson cake the ice
Roars of chilled hatred reach the skies
My blade forever poised to slice

With ragged wings
of splintered bone
Wispy voice
of straining storms
Comes time and tide
of pure morose

Pleasure to finally meet you ladies and gentlemen
How about we make a couple million? 6, 7, maybe even 10!
You people make me laugh with your fancy cars and shallow smiles- a gluttony embellished with diamonds
Thank goodness I’m here to stop all this *******…Tonight your rule ends
1-percenters be ******; they constrain our wills and throw the innocents to roast
Go on, show me the chalice of greed, raise your cup
Speak a final taunt, an exiting boast
My gun drawn, shooting from the waist up

I am not your savior and sure as hell not your friend
I’m the cleanup crew-your life’s dead end
I am not one to be toyed with, not one to be trifled
I’m the clearest voice you’ll ever hear with no way to be stifled
I am not prone to begging so watch me smirk at your prayer
I’m a lie concocted in style, a silver-tongued soothsayer
I am not a guy who feels very much, whose heart can ever cease to darken
I’m a product of reality’s riptides, the thing your nightmares harken

He stood at the beginning of an empty street
Teeming with the hustle and bustle of decomposing memories
A spectator huddled in the shroud of uncertainty
The figure is purposeless: A destitute husk of paper skin and aching bones
Yet, he always walks down this road
A path of righteousness and pure evil
Going neither left nor right
But somewhere in the middle

To the shadows crawling on my walls-
To the faces I see in the dark-
To the things that go bump in the night...

I bump back

The trees are monsters
The shadows are spectral
The electricity belongs to Wisps
The sun is a Great Dragon’s egg
The moss is Troll skin
The wind is Banshee breath

The girl is a victim for the forest to tear
**and I am her swift, merciful death

I remember a time long ago
When each person carried emotional baggage in tow
We held friend and family member equally dear
Kissed every cheek and wiped away every tear
Now we lie cruel and rotting under the sun
Devoid of any sparks or pangs of fun
We’ve forgotten our righteous ways
Seek therapy from bad decisions and ashtrays
All sense of the common good is delivered through slow reactions
Overshadowed by emerald greed and ***-soaked distractions
I’ve tried to convince my children of the change
They just look at me as an old dog ripe with mange
To all my loved ones who have died
I can at least mutter "I tried"
I suppose it’s about time to scrape hope up and wash it down the drain
Sit out on my porch, feet propped up, watching society fall like rain

I sliced open her heart

It's a sparkling sculpture

*Pure Art

I sink during my highs and soar during my lows
I feel brightest during the night and warmest when the wind blows
I’m alone in a crowd of thousands and bitter during Valentine’s Day
To unpleasant “Goodbye’s,” my voice always responds with a “Hey!”
I drink from downstream, conversely from where the river flows
I’ve got feet with feeling fingers and hands gripping through toes
I’ll talk about your hopes but when the question’s turned, I don’t know what to say
I’m an irrational guy and, everyday, paradoxes are the game I play

Confront Insecurity
He is misguided, and he should be unravelled

Hear Trauma
She has stifled her voice, but she must be listened to

Embrace Willpower
They will take you firmly in hand, so you can journey ahead

Cheerful smiles and hearty laughs belie a monster's presence
False stories and impressions of grandeur contribute to an energy
A crackling spark of incandescence
For this beast is not one of tooth or claw
But something far more deliberate and precise
Ready with sarcasm dripping from the maw

A creature of charisma skilled in manipulation
Jaws primed to spew caustic venom
With a malicious intent for social *******
Its bright eyes quickly scan the room
Sorting the sheep and deciding on which's weaknesses to feed
Trusting this monster assures certain doom

It's a slithering fiend flexing predatory instinct
Composed of façades that are cleverly distinct
Thriving in thoughts of darkness and demise
Hissing lies from midnight to sunrise
Whose only desires are simply to make you bleed
The Psychopath is a snake indeed

Sitting in my red Lambo
the wind breathing down our backs like a perve
I look to my right after working up the nerve
She's sipping that malt like nobody's business
Her hellcat smile barely containing a playful tongue
Funny, I never thought I'd be jealous of a straw

My Ray Bans refract the setting Sun's spit onto her shades
We play tag with it before tossing the light through the windshield
Doctor Dusk gave us the full dosage
The tires grind on the gravel of our asphalt Neverland
I Peter Panic when she sheds her masquerade
She's got stunning mocha eyes frosted with truthful lies
I see her spirit phasing into my chest
A pair of luscious lips giving my heart a crimson kiss

She tells me I carry the scent of leather and sorrow on my sin
On hers, I discern daddy issues and untapped sin

The girl's as broken as I am

Sure, I might occasionally be smarmy and sick
by no means, though, a consistent ****
Her giggles wash all the bad days away
so my Lucifer impressions melts her ears with a

*"Baby, wanna play?"

In haunting form and dignified stance,
Dancing Rose waltzes beneath black and blue
crimson bleeding into the aether

She breathes the night's stillness
while energizing its tempo
for it is time to shed the heaviness

The weight of the world upon her petals
the streams of water dripping down her stem
these things shall be laid to rest, put to bed

With the floaty fragrance of home
and thorns to ***** any naysayer
our flower stays strong for the journey ahead

From the moon to the stars
Dancing Rose will spread her lovely songs
let us praise her in both name and deed
for she has bloomed past the sorrow
no longer a timid seed

I am unseen
Existing on the outer rim of this place
One body among the astros of cosmic space

I am a listener
Absorbing every ounce of knowledge I can find
Reserved in a space of my mind

I am a shadow
Lurking among the halls
Seeking solace wherever the light falls

I am a serpent
Calm when at rest
Sorting through prey like a confetti fest

I am a visitor
Fresh new faces glaze over my eyes
Oversaturated smiles are met with shy sighs

I am distant from every peer
Bitten by the fangs of fear
Unrecognized by anyone
Stuck watching from a one-way mirror
I'm not someone who belongs

I am a Stranger

Me and some friends got high and took a night out on the town
Ducking between seedy spots and screeching cars,
we saw **** like talking dogs and bears in wedding gowns,
sipped down galaxies and chugged cups of stars

They pass around powdered sin, taking a sniff
I’m in the corner, blasting away the clock with guitar riffs
They howl, “buddy, grow some *****”
The Devil tells me to give into their calls

My eyelids randomly decide to droop
My muscles give out and the whole world seems to stoop
Booming speakers submerge my cries
so I simply watch my friends drop like flies

Every pained breath whispers the stench of sweat
I touch my ravaged nose
It’s red and wet
That’s how the story goes

What can I say?
It’s my game to play
Even the purest need a break
I’ll **** up my life for fun’s sake

You cannot take the light from the sun
nor the thunder from the storm

A hurricane’s might dare not be tamed
so the dancing kites it animates remain free

You cannot steal the truth from my lips
or the revelations from my eyes

A tsunami’s waves swallow all opposition
so that the sands below may slowly fall back to place

A thousand cuts could not bleed my heart
for it shines and beats in tune with the infinite
It sways to melodious tunes of righteousness
and rises above the hateful's attempts to drown it

I have experienced a schism from mankind
Alone and adrift in the cosmos of my mind
My acension from life has made me anew
False happiness no longer leads me askew
Rage-filled memories are held with great retention
For this rupture has led to a dark dessension
With glorious hate, I take my last mortal breath
I am a soulless and vengeful shadow
Something akin to Death

People always complain that an awful individual won’t their habits
that a human being’s moral wheel, if lodged into the dirt, shall remain there
This may be the most monumental of misconceptions

What if they really are trying to change?
What if they’ve already replaced the wheel?
Chose to go forwards on a new path?

Perhaps, the reason it seems that people don’t change
is that society is cynically unaware of forks in the road
unaware that everyone is just driving past each other

There was a great gust of wind accompanied by blackness
Snoozing breaths ****** in the tainted air of medicine and wasted prayers
The specter took its perch at the foot of my bed
Soulless eyes swallowed moonlight and reflected a pair of voids
Its form was illusory; sentient darkness stretched out across the room and into the pits of my fear
“Open your eyes,” the specter’s wispy mouth sighed
I did as I was told and recoiled in horror at the fright seated near my resting place
There was pure terror swimming in my blood but, even then, I dare not look away
I finally rambled, “What are yo-“

“I am truly Nameless…Breathless. I am the silent oracle to eons of demise. The cloud of fate that hangs above all"

My paralyzed physical form was privy to this ancient force-one uncorrupted by the vestiges of time
In one graceful motion, the being stood and glided to my bedside
Its hand rested on mine, hovering near the cusp of contact; a shadow suspended on dust
Phantomous lips reached near my ears and whispered

“You are but a hollow construct of flesh. Your presence is akin to an ant’s among the stars…”
“…From nothingness you were built and unto nothingness your vessel will become…”

With that, the thing that mortals call Death withdrew to my open window and peered out
There was a great gust of wind accompanied by blackness

The night casts its long shadow over my flesh and blood
Yet, my body chooses not to fall into the natural rhythms of slumber
My eyelids are made of stone and are locked securely in place
My imagination runs amok and dreams fill up my void
The song of crickets punctuates the conversation with myself
Days long since past are still fresh in my memory
I feel like ideas are surging through my head ready to burst through my eardrums
But my arms and legs do not match my metaphysical wishes
They are numb and useless
Like a slow river, the bed seems to carry me to eternity
Gently taking me to a place far away
I need to rest so badly
The pangs of responsibility echo through my being
I have things to do; I have people to meet
It’s a curse
To never be able to match the cycle of the light
To bear witness to the passing of time
Locked in a coffin of consciousness
Ah, the sun is back; time to drag this empty husk out of bed
Light pours through the blinds, in an endless stream
No, arouse yourself from this folly
The shadow still remains
You were always wide awake
Hopelessly thinking of tomorrow
Pondering this night until daybreak

Those ****, metallic wings
No matter how far I flee
No matter how deep I sink
I can hear those blades shriek

The land is suffused with paranoia
We've poisoned sweet Americana
and in its place, soar ebony vultures

Listen my children, I have a tale to tell
How we flew out of good graces
and straight into **hell

I want to fold origami from the ***** of your skin
I want to spread rivulets of your blood in a lucid spray
I’ll etch my mind onto the bleached bones of your shin
I’m going to snicker when you shriek, your face in flimsy pieces
My wicked humor is black-hearted: subversive and oh so facetious
Can you feel your tummy split in two?
Those entrails will make an excellent noose
Your growls of agony serve as my cue
How easily the intestines begin to come loose!
I will discard your humanity with methodical prejudice
Your repugnant form will be an artist’s crimson kiss
I will return you to an easel of decay
To my gallery of dirt, flies, and fleas
You will hang in the decadence of quietus
A pendulum of rot, swinging death’s aroma into the breeze

Every single day, I struggle for my own existence
I shift into imaginary realities without a hint of resistance
“I wonder if that eerie feeling will come back today?”
Of course, it does-in dreadful ferocity and without delay
There’s no use in logic anymore; I do believe my brain’s flown the coop
It’s hard to be stable, to be strong
Especially when your mind’s turned into soup

Hey babe, it’s me, boy blue
been searching around town for a girl like you
You wrung me out dry, left me to die
Flashin’ that smile ever so sly

Hey babe, it’s me, boy blue
been searching around town for a girl like you
I’ve wasted my time, ditched my mind
gave it all up to get back the grind

Hey babe, it’s me, boy blue
been searching around town for a girl like you
I wanna ask you questions, ask you why
but all you can give me is a cry

Hey babe, it’s me, boy blue
been searching around town for a girl like you
Rip me open, what do you find?
a sorry sap who’s busy being blind

Hey babe, it’s me, boy blue
been searching around town for a girl like you
I’ve had this anger, just let it brew
Baby, find someone new to *****

On that lovely day, I tiptoed into a cobbled courtyard of death

The air was fresh and heavy with scents of hog-tied fear

My darling friends struggled to get free: Mary, Susan, and dear Annabel Lee

Among the tombstones I strode and, past the drear, wasted lives were what I saw so clear

Suddenly, putrid hands reached from beneath and began to sporadically spasm

They gripped my sweet friends by the neck, dragging them into an unearthly phantasm

On that lovely day, I tiptoed back from a cobbled courtyard of death

For my pretty little friends had just surrendered their last mortal breath

I like it when you dance in the blue shades of desire
The brightness of my eyes bouncing off those shiny, silver bracelets
As they flow gracefully through the air
While I start to serenade your heart
With tales of gushing romance
And a melody of rhythmic woes

Ashes to Ashes
Dust to dust
Peeling paint
Monuments of rust

You’re struck by thoughts that zip like raging electricity
Charged wholesomely by the eye snatching power of curiousity
There’s that hefty knapsack of guilt constricting your back
A tear stained jacket olive green and not so fresh off the rack
Typical attire adorned by an untamed hellcat hellbent on the attack

You’re always eager for flimsy fellows with paper mache names
Too bad they catapult you back into prewritten tales of ill-ridden fame
You seem to entice the astral glare of scorching stars
To unwittingly interrupt Nature’s frolicking soundtrack at all the key bars

You’re Alice’s protégé adeptly meeting learning goals
Far surpassing her mentor at the art of slipping reality and falling down rabbit holes
A spirit shedding her blouse of light and taking a dip in the lake of souls
Writing new mythologies amidst the morbid company of witches and trolls

You’re burned letters and missed calls on the phone
A slowly sinking stone
Filled with grey from every ***** to bone
Wilting words spoken monotone

"That is not dead which can eternal lie,
and with strange aeons even death may die."*
-Abdul Alhazred

Piercing light digs itself into my eyes
A spread of bird calls funnel past open windows
I lift my throbbing head off the splayed pages
It seems that morning breeze has been perusing my book
The Necronomicon

With groggy effort, I go about my daily routine
Brushing leads to breakfast which leads to brooding
Today is Saturday and I am beyond unimpressed
Not many activities catch my eye like they used to
I think I’ll go for a swim

Thankfully, the empty lap pool provides a haven
Loneliness was never an outstanding issue among our family
That pervasive sense of dull dread invades my heart, yet
There is a thin verisimilitude between loneliness and contentment
I muse upon the power of individuality while submerging

Half-past 11, I notice some peculiar glow spreading in the lanes
Emerald ooze steadily overtakes a pair of arms and legs
It is not long before this strange goo overtakes my skull as well
Instantaneously, terror plunges deep into my amygdala
I assume sounds of thrashing water and stifled screams

How does my body drift deeper than physically possible?
When does my mind disconnect from our tangible world?
Just why are suction-cupped serpents binding me?
Questions spill over the brim and are not met with any answers
Nonetheless, I embrace impending death

Visions assault a cloud of sensory panic
The chlorine chaos takes on saltier flavoring
I see images of cyclopean kingdoms draped in sea growth
Stupendous beings lumber with apocryphal disregard
To these incomprehensible entities, I am dust

They relinquish me back to my microscopic world
I do not know why the cosmic horrors revealed themselves
All I am aware of is that this was a mere glimpse at true evil
One born millennia before the most ancient of stars
One that will persist millennia after such bodies have extinguished
I sink back into the water, exhausted

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
*-H.P. Lovecraft

I know what it’s like when a soul dies
For a Sunday night surprise tainted my pair of heart eyes
On my bed sprawled a man and sweet Clementine
She met his lips with ones that were formerly known as mine

In shock, I hastily began a procedure vaguely resembling a seizure
My mind’s eye saw how I was confused and misused
So quickly came the chill, putting the warm parts of my heart to disuse
A darker side of psyche was ruefully deployed
I turned empty, a void, bona fide schizoid

My fingers now around their throats, I became Death’s harbinger
Love-borne vengeance made corporeal, a cheater’s swan singer
I caught their eyes with mine, bloodred from scornful blame
Turns out souls and bones break quite the same

I remember when the worst thing around were these shadows that dance on my wall
Open windows served as music, for the wind’s rhythm drove specters to sway
Standing in the doorway, with the lazy hum of bees outside, my eyes panicked

That was years ago

The shadows were just glimpses of the realms that resided in my head
From the cavernous depths sprang a Panther colored like silky ink
It prowls both my mind and waking reality with an equal vibe of eeriness
Recently, a quiet day of class turned gruesome within seconds
Caught up in a cold fit of hatred, I saw my classmates’ bodies slumped over
Their blood formed a massive pool reeking of crimson
I saw that **** cat stare at me with liquid eyes while it lapped it up
A few blinks later, Geometry class was back to its usual dull droning

I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore
I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy, I’m not ******* crazy!

Or am I?

Every time things go back to normal, there’s a tinge of sickliness in my gut
The grim expectation of more horror and gore
Every time things go back to normal, I think of buzzing bugs and melodic wind
I think of phantomous felines and shadows waltzing across my wal

He walked slowly and deliberately
Each step had a purpose
Each step brought him closer to the means to an end
His eyes were dark and serious
People looked into them and only saw a chilling layer of ice
His mouth was formed into a tight and grim expression
He didn’t like to waste words
People called him angry and aloof but it wasn’t his fault he was like that
He used to care too much about the world around him
That same world made him like this
Over and over again he was subjected to pain and disappointment
Finally, it got to him and he changed
His smile ceased to have its day
His blood begin to freeze
His steps became precise
His eyes now shot a menacing glare
He became cold-hearted

On the edge, I feel a gust of wind splinter
It chills me like an icy hug from Old Man Winter

I see my target now
And to the Gods of frost, I begin a bow

He is my nemesis, a slimy thief
He stole her heart and left me a receipt of grief

She holds his arm, crystal love in her eyes
Beholding this sight, righteous rage starts to fly

I bound towards them, a hateful beast
My hunger for revenge awaiting its feast

I nudge her aside, unwilling for her harm
I look into my enemy’s mind, seeing the oceans of hollow charm

Unto him, I will unleash my pain
The need for catharsis has driven me insane

My love barely manages to scream, “Darling, please!...”
*I severed his throat like swiftest breeze

In this life or the next,
nothing is promised
In those moral lapses,
we must seize expiation
In our web of bleak moments,
we learn that diamonds are not forever
In one hand, I held my doubts
In the other, my regrets
and I declared the daunting vow
that I would break them just the same

There I saw it, past the skyline
the things yet to come
how they beckoned in the light
beacons calling me forth

With hell nipping at my heels
and a heavy heart to boot
scars both fresh and new
telling the tale of what I have been through

From simple paradoxes
to crystal clear complications
uncertainty is all I know for sure
the one fact that remains true

So I will not aim for sunny days
nothing is promised nor owed
I shall keep the hopes under lock and key
and tread on, as I always have

Come what may

I caught you walking down the street
summer hair and red capris
asked why you did me wrong
Why did you throw me down?

I look up with blurry eyes
to mountains and foamy skies
The tip of my tongues tasting dour
Why’d you toss me off the tower?

You said love was all for fools
hot blood and lusting drool
maybe I’m just a tool
discarded by the Putrid Queen?

This cruel world always reaps
spilling darkness forever seeps
I can’t outrun the flow
Why did you leave me for dead?

I had a gift for heartache
Kept it imprisoned between stanza breaks
For a treat, life is sweet
popped cherries and blown raspberries

No need to bleed out gold on bearskin rugs
No desire for strutting around as soft-serve thugs
We’re different than all the ****** and tools
We’re the ones that shock electricity and frighten ghouls

Complete trust is a must
loyalty too
I ask for a lot
I give you my all

*like kisses beneath the blue

Heavy flakes collide
upon a face, stiff and sly
leather boots shriek against salt
souls sliding on ice

Steaming breath billows
clotting from that which speaks no evil
dreamland swirling free
steering clear of flesh and meat

Even a thousand planted kisses
would have a modicum of meaning
save for hearts worn on sleeves
and frozen memories

Tiny, shiny cannonballs from above
pelt the forlorn few
while one shifting through slush
hopes their aim is mighty true

My Salvation did not stem from an angelic force
It didn’t even shine from God’s Paradise
Rather
Mine came from the Earth below
From flaming magma and frightening heat
From the crimson hand
That reached out to greet

You come with doubt
with a knack for disparaging

You come with ego
with a conviction of having seen it all

You come to the foot of the solar system
with your cosmic disregard for virtue

You leave as you should
with a singed tongue
with eyes dripping ashes

Here's to the man in the mirror
the ascending sun
not some saint of sinners

Here's to a higher route
with its timely turns
and harvests wrought from drought

Here's to the ones who scorn
their hearts yet lined with lead
their purloined peace, I mourn

Here's to the blessed and grace-filled
who have left their radiant marks upon me
and fields of hope still to be tilled

The rain is almost silent with its stealthy pattering
I can still decipher our little song though
The rhythm of the drops is a mirror of my heartbeat
This road is empty in the dark leaving me to tear myself apart
Deconstructing what makes me whole and putting the pieces back once more
Ripped pieces of flesh shoddily sown together

Street lights shine dimly in the downpour
Even they are victim to the dark
If only the water could clean me anew
The distance from this mess would be welcomed
but here I am left to deal with the fallout of consequences
Time and time again I make the same mistakes
and the frustration makes me want to roar until the world shakes

I feel like an idiot to place my faith in those unworthy
and the tears of the sky serve as a constant reminder
The rain continues its quiet assault
and I just have to look up at the night sky with a grin on my face
while a certain finger sticks up

With my friends, I goose-stepped down a dingy street, us all chomping down on pigs’ feet meat

My wet ears, inexperience glistening, opened up to the city eagerly listening

Heard orders for ****** and boy toys which, essentially, created walls of white noise

Found my way onto a queen-sized lump of trash and determined it a quality place to crash

Woke up suddenly to find the third eye of my mind permanently blind

Watched my body plunge into the absolute abysmal solely due to a habit of feeling terribly dismal

Started painting an accurate portrait of daily life using the ornate hues of continuous strife

Made a recipe for misery with some sassafras and a dab of the other side’s greener grass

It wasn’t until I chomped down on a half-finished Baby Ruth that my noggin’ tuned into the truth

Turns out, birds of a feather are held together by the absolute weakest of tethers

Let’s go down to La La Land, ladies and gents
There are quite a few dangers to circumvent
zombified crowds of unimpassioned creeps
we’ll start spilling their lipstick-shaded blood just to watch it seep

We’ve given away our hearts calling out these fake, sons-of-*******
They’re vicious and pernicious, held together by skin deep stitches
It’s about time that artificial apathy is dusted off society’s seat
We will have our glory on the throne, it doesn’t matter how fleet

Let’s go down to La La Land ladies and gents
For there, our smiles may forever be slightly bent
It’s the disarray we crave, chaos letting us contemplate
dancing out woozy blues with flaws on our faces and sealed fates

I feel your agony and make it my own
I see your smile and mirror the expression
It’s almost impossible for me to stop
To cease draining the emotions of others
Simply because I am numb
Unfeeling towards my own existence
I am an empath with fangs shining
Feasting to restore my humanity
In tune with everyone’s mind
Unsure of my own
I am a reservoir of emptiness
A connoisseur of consuming souls
An emotional vampire

“In his fist, the righteous sword is raised...and all that is wicked, he will tread beneath his feet”

I came, I saw
I shall not be conquered
Opulence and luxury are minor distractions
There is no time for stardust relationships
No need for the jangle of change in my pocket

We are not owed by any twist of destiny
Fate’s fingers crawl across those years
I swat them away in disgust
My teeth sank so eagerly into a simpler life
I was home, my skin stopped burning

Now what do I have?
All those comforts have been stripped from me
Regardless, I could not kneel
With every step taken, I tore
Concrete convictions warned they might crack

This life will smother your resolve
It will ****** smiles and muddy your heart
but I will be ****** if it makes me yield
Destroying every single doubt
Slaying insecurities with impunity

I am certainly not some exemplar
but I will still dig my nails into the filth
scrape my toes against the brick
I will climb out of this slick well
Whatever it takes
Whatever the cost