the flowing tears of a screaming-
a screaming that binds your soul
unable to move
pinned to the spot
with heart tearing horror
the drops fall from opened wounds
eyes turned glassy
as if turned to mirrors-
mirrors that reflect back:
nothing

feel it tug at the edges
a cold fist gripping at a heart
every pump of your heart
circling blood through your veins
that will all spill
feel the scribble of thought
running ruthlessly
around in a fury,
previously forgotten
always feared
the melting flesh in your skull
overthinking
overthinking
killing slowly
as if you've lived a thousand years
as if you've seen the circle round
forgetting
forgetting
remembering
remembering
regret hearing
regret ignoring
spin your web of lies
feel the power,
words
have over your emotions
smash them down
**** them slowly
torture those feelings
till they are no more
don't pick up the tool
refuse to write your tale
don't come back
once you leave
there is no more
overthinking
overthinking
remembering
remembering
FORGET IT
remembering

I had a dream,
once when i was young,
of a tree
- a cherry tree
to be exact.
the tree's branches were covered
with white cherry blossoms.
they danced in the wind
and sang
and laughed.
all except one,
very out of place flower.
It was white,
yes,
just as all the others.
but it told all who would listen:
i'm a apple blossom
and they said back laughing and teasing
silly cherry, you're a cherry blossom
the cherry blossom tried to explain
how it knew it was what it was.
after so much laughter
and rejection,
the cherry went silent.
but every night it'll whisper to itself
i am an apple blossom
i am an apple blossom
i am an apple blossom
one day it tried again
and again
they laughed
and, in sheer desperation,
the cherry blossom picked itself
and
      f
        e
          l
            l,
to the ground.
its petals opened
to revel ,what the cherry blossom
had known all along.
a huge apple had been hidden
behind petals of an apple blossom.

I saw the train coming before everyone else.
Yet I ignored the rumble of the train tracks.
I said the whistle of the train
Was nothing but the wind.
I saw the train coming.
Yet said nothing.
Because no one would have heeded my warning.
No one wishes to believe that
the one who bares ill news
Is telling the truth.

Hush my little one
And sleep
I promise not to leave you
And to watch over your Sleeping form
In moonlight or day
Not a wink
I will sleep
While you still slumber
I blunder and cry
And apologize
My sweet little baby
I tried to leave again
But it was your smiling face
I remembered
In my dark hours
And I came back for you
I'll never leave you.
My shooting star

I'm tired of being the
                               loudest
when I suffer in
                      silence.
I'm tired of being the
                             happiest
when I fail the
                                                 hardest
I'm tired of smiling the
                                   biggest
when I shed the
                       largest
tears

I'm tired of laughing the
                                        most
when I whimper
                                                       alone
I'm tired of being the
                                         loveable one
when I'm the one
                       casted aside

I'M TIRED
of being a doormat
of holding everything in
of Forgiving
of hurting
of APOLOGIZING
of hating  myself for caring

I'M TIRED
of acting like everything's okay
of not being able to trust  anyone

I'm so tired
but I know I'll never stop
being the doormat
for the world

Watch the leafs blow across the ground
Around in circles they go
One falls out
And I feel bad for it
Then the wind pushes back
Lucky little thing
And then I see the one waiting
for a wind that'll never come
Poor litte thing
All alone
just like me