Fatimah odunmbaku

Fatimah odunmbaku Aug 4

I remember a time
A time when your voice was beautiful
A melody that flowing through my veins
Your words struck like the keys on a piano,
Music I wanted to hear and dance to

A time
When your presence was smoothening, like the breeze that tosses my hair in may.

A time
When I found your eyes bright,
A rare gem 💎

A time
When I thought your face a piece of art
Sculpted by hands greater than Michelangelo.
Painted by hands more elegant than Leonardo.
A time
When I yearned for your presence and approval

But now,
Now I do not think of you as a sanctuary, a safe place
I do not think of you as anything at all
I am lost in a trance a place between desire and reality
I remember a time when I thought we were ment to be,
Fated
Written in stone
But now
Now I have come to realise you did not think of me as such,

So now with shame lacing my voice I ask
I ask
Do you remember
Do you remember a time when we were thick as thieves.
I ask with the ache of sadness
What was I to you?

Fatimah odunmbaku Jul 29

My mother

Sometimes I wish you knew and sometimes I wish you didn't.
I wanted to hold you but I was too scared,
Scared I might break you
I want you to know how hard it was
How much I kept inside
How much I tried
But at the same time I want you to have no knowledge at all,
No knowledge of the pain
Of what I was becoming
Of what I am
Or what I went through
I want you uo know how hard it was
To live with you
To hold on to pieces of myself
How hard it was
To wake up
To breath
To live
I want you yo know
But I don't want you to feel sorry
I don't want you to utter fake apologise,
I wanted to be held
No, I needed to be held by someone other than me.
But you weren't there
You were my mother not my friend
Sometimes you were a stranger not a mother
Like a knife your words cut deep
Deeper than you could imagine
Deeper than the Pacific and athletic
You ware my mother
You were supposed to be my sanctuary
The person I ran to after a nightmare
Not the nightmare I had
I was hurting
I am hurting
I am hurting because of you
You are my mother
Then act like it
Or is this love
Your own haunted sick version love
Is the love of a mother supposed to hurt
To make you want to ****
To die
You were my mother
And sometimes
Very often
I wished you weren't

My mother where ever you are I hope and pray this finds you but at the sane time I hope it doesn't
I don't know what I want

Fatimah odunmbaku Jul 29

Life

Life is like a book
Every day a page,
Every month a chapter,
Every year a new series.

Not a poem

Fatimah odunmbaku Jul 17

Hope

I hoped
Things would be different
I hoped
To have much more
Hope is fragile
I hoped
To be better
To love and be loved
To be happy and free from the shackles of my desires and pain
I hoped
To heal
To be seen
Hop is fragile
More brittle than the most brittle of glass
Hope
Like an egg, To be cradled and never dropped
But it us no use
to hold on for it would break
No matter how gentle you are
Hope
A thread so thin so small so frail
Yet we hold on
We hold on to the uncertainty of life
To the vulnerability of our hearts
To what is not promised
We hold on to Hope and Fate
But in the end
In the very end
Hope is fragile

Fatimah odunmbaku Jul 15

Morning

Soft whispers of dawn, a gentle, new day,
Sunlight unfolds in a hesitant way.
The world slowly stirs from its slumber deep,
Secrets of night that the shadows keep.

---

Birds in the branches begin their sweet song,
A melody shared, where they all belong.
Dew on the grass, a diamond-strewn sight,
Reflecting the sky in the morning light.

---

A breeze through the leaves, a soft, guiding hand,
Waking the earth in this vibrant land.
Each petal unfurls, a color so bright,
Dancing in air, taking glorious flight.

---

So step into peace, let your spirit ascend,
Embrace the new day, till the very end.
For every sunrise, a fresh chance we find,
To leave worries behind, and be truly kind.

My AI friend wrote this although different from my usual style I think it's quite nice

Fatimah odunmbaku Jun 4

to be seen

I want to be seen not looked at
I want someone to see me
To see everything between the lines
Flaws
Scars
And perfections-if there are any
To see is different from to look
Sometimes we look but we do not see
But is it truly what I want?
And if they do not like what they see,
What then would happen?
To open up to someone is the greatest form of intimacy.
To see what has been hidden from view for so long
To be seen beyond looks
To be valued beyond words
To be praised
Appreciated
understood
And
Seen.

I haven't posted in a while been busy with school.
how is June coming along for everyone?

May 11

Jeff Bresee

Only Color Left

I took for granted everything,
colors of every hue.
I didn’t know those colors
filled my world because of you.

So, like the fool I am
I let you go, too blind to see
that on my own I am just alone
and things turned out to be

where colors slowly slipped away,
the yellows, greens and blues.
And now the only color left…
is the memory of you.

#love #loss #longing #heartache