Fatimah odunmbaku

Fatimah odunmbaku Feb 24

save me

I wake up, but I do not feel awake.
I do not have the will to stand to think, move, or live.
and then I cry,
Oh GOD, oh God,
save me from myself and this world,
save me from everything cruel,
save me from myself and my thoughts,
For I do not feel like me,
I do not feel alive,
I am chained to my thoughts and emotions,
I do not have the will to live,
and I cry
oh God save me from me,
help me to heal,
help me find me,
help me find the me I used to know,
help me heal,
Save me from me.

Fatimah odunmbaku Feb 20

Detached

I stare into the mirror, and I wonder,
'Who is the girl in the mirror?'
For this is not the girl who I used to know,
who moved so freely, who smiled and laughed and loved,
this is not the beautiful girl I used to know,
why has she been replaced with this girl,
this girl with no feelings,
this girl who cannot love or laugh or smile,
this girl with the world on her shoulders.
What has taken over the body of that peaceful girl, that free spirit,
and why has she been replaced with something so dark and secretive something so hollow and burdened,
Although she looks the same as her it is not her,
but it is her,
only a different version,
a version I do not recognize or understand.
Is this what growing feels like?
is growth not supposed to feel good,
does growth separate one from the world,
does growth make a person hatful,
does growth destroy one's heart,
does growth make one lose themself.
For it is the same girl and at the same time it is not her,
it is the same girl, but she is detached,
she holds the ropes of her sanity as the slip from her hands,
it is the same girl, but she is griped by fear and sorrow,
it is the same girl, but she no longer walks she floats through like a soul that has no body detached from the world and it's affairs.

Fatimah odunmbaku Jan 20

Untitled

Your eyes as bright as the moon in early December,
Your lips, pink as the roses in spring,
Your smile delightful and beautiful,
Your voice like music to my ears,
Your laughter a sweet and soft melody that makes me feel alive,
Your presence like the breeze that sweeps me off my feet,
Although perfection is a myth, I believed in it the moment I met you.
For never in all my years on this planet have I come across a person so perfect.
A mixture of beauty, brains, talent and character.
No man's presence has such effect on me,
No man's presence leaves me breathless.
It feels like an illusion, a dream.
Well, maybe that is all it truly is.

Fatimah odunmbaku Jan 20

The weight we carry

Those things that seem to swallow us whole,
Those things that seem to be everlasting,
Those things that seem to control us,
Those things that seem to consume us,
Like fire consuming everything and anything,
Those things that we dread,
Those things that seem to eat at our hearts,
Those things that seem to rot our insides,
Those things that we are too scared to speak of,
Those things they call feelings and emotions,
Those feelings like guilt.
Like sadness,
Like fear,
Those feelings that we do not want to feel,
Those feelings that we hate to feel,
Anxiety.
Those feelings that make us want to end things,
Depression
But those feelings shape us,
Those feelings make us stronger,
Those feelings make us who we are.

I know not everyone would be able to relate to this but to the people who can you are not alone. ✨🙃

Fatimah odunmbaku Jan 20

Happy place

Look at the walls.
No, not like that,
A little bit more,
put all your mind into it, and let the world fade away.
Don't you think there is a place beyond the walls, rocks, and earth?
A place beyond the crulty and pain of this world,
A quiet and peaceful place where you can forget about all your pain, sorrows and problems.
A place with clouds like cotton candy, perfectly cut grass and anything you wish.
A place where animals roam free under the setting sun.
A place where birds sing the most beautiful songs.
A place with no hardships, no problems, no tears, just peace and joy.
A happy place.

Fatimah odunmbaku Jan 15

Strength

Behind her smile is a shredded heart.
Behind her bright beautiful eyes, rivers of tears waiting to flow.
Behind her modestly covered body, scars highlighting pain, bravery, courage, and fear.
She chooses to be strong, even if it is hard.
She would never cry or scream.
She chooses to keep to herself, to build herself.
she chooses to hide all the pain and stay strong.

Fatimah odunmbaku Jan 15

fantacy

Sometimes I sit by myself and wonder
I wonder if that man is real
If the perfect novel man is real.
The man with bright eyes.
The man with the ideal smile.
The man with a heart of gold.
The man who loves you for you.
The man who loves you even against all odds.
The man who is willing to give his life to protect you.
The man who would do anything to make you smile.
The man who is willing to give you the world.
The perfect novel man.