A little place in the woods
hidden by trees on three sides
Its where we first started hanging out
Its where I taught her how to fight

Its where I watched her grow
from a frightened shy girl
who couldnt defend herself
To a tough as nails woman
Who didnt need a man to protect her
she could protect herself

It was there that I started to feel
It was there that she started
knocking down the walls in me
The walls that had ben in place for years

Its where I fell in love with her
and swore to myself
I wouldnt let anything harm her
I would keep her Pure
I wouldn't let the bad things in life
Taint her.

But then I left
I choose to leave her
and all the promises went down the drain
The bad seeped in
and her halo was tainted Black

I thought leaving would protect her
I thought I was saving her
from a life time of pain

never in a million years
Did I think I meant something to her
I thought it was all just me

Never in a million years
did I think I was important to her
That she needed me in her life

She made me realize
that this life is worth fighting for

And it all started with that hideout in the woods

The adreniline rush I get
as my fist
connects with
some poor saps face

The thrill I get
When I know
They aint gunna win

The High  I get
When I see
that stark fear
spill into their eyes

What can I say?
I live off of violence
I grew up swimming in it
I crave it
I love it

I wasn't there when you were born
Daddy was struggling to get better
I met you six months ago
for the first time.

I missed your first steps
and your first giggle.
I missed your first word
by only a week.

Your big brown eyes stared up at me
I could tell you were afraid
who is this strange man in this strange bed?
I guess being in the hospital
with wires all attached to me
wasnt the best place to meet.

I'll let you in on a secret.
I was afraid too.
what if she doesnt like me?
What if I fail her?

But you reached out to me
with your short little one year old arms
and I held out my hand to meet yours
Your little hand in mine
so tiny, so Fragile.

Being one you don't know any better
You reached out your other hand
and touched my left eye
where the scars still Stand out

You didnt cry
or try and run away
You looked thoughtful
the way only one years olds can.
does that mean you accepted me?

I missed out on some of the important firsts
But that day with you in my arms touching my face
I promised myself

I would never miss another first again.

IN the hospital
with my friends all around me
Or well almost all
Shoulder in Massive pain
The docs wont give me the good stuff
what with me being an addict and all

But something is not right
I cant catch my breath
and I feel like I am burning up.

Wait where am I?
Whats happening?
Right hospital
I got shot

My eye lids wont stay open
even though I want them to
My body sags
as if it weights a ton

What the **** is HAPPENING TO ME?
Havent I been through enough
cant a guy catch a ******* BREAK?

I slip into a sleep
half awake half not
I hear voices all around me
I hear a girl crying
Gotta be Angel
Panda and Kaitlyn don't cry like that.

I hear a man speaking
somewhere on my left
his voice is deep
Gotta be Magnum

Why cant I wake up fully?
Why does my body feel so weird.
Like its been lite on fire
Why can't I catch my breath?
Its like I ran a mile or something

Where Am I?
What happened?
Right the hospital
I got shot.

WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING TO ME???????????

I stand there
With twittle by my side
Waiting for the others
Waiting to make the exchange

They come
High out of their minds
Threatening me
Tell me what I have is a lie

Their leader pulls something out of his coat

GUN

I hear twittle yelling something to me
but I cant hear what he says
my eyes only focus
on the barrel in front of me

Why I didnt run
is a mystery to me

BAM

I've been shot at before
I've been stabbed more times
then I can count

I felt the bullet go through me
I felt myself stagger to the car

Slump against it
trying to hold on

my vision blackening
around the edges

My hearing
disapearing

Is this what its like
To Die?

Twittle?
Where is he?
Will he be ok?

My strength leaves me
And I welcome Death

I am not a king
I will never claim to be
I am not the guy
everyone worships

I am the guy the king calls
when He wants someone dead
I am the assasin that creeps in the dead of night

A gun ever present
always on my person
scars from past fights
covering my body
my face
Scared and mared

A recovering
forever recovering
coke addict

a man not afraid
to Beat the **** out of someone
and then get paid

A hitman
A killer
a monster

the beast under your bed

I am not worthy
of a tittle such as king