I am wasting my life being afraid.

I am such a helpless case for tragedy.

Playing mind games with myself hoping for a glimpse of actual reality.

All I have got left is my deceiving recollection of my past playing and rewinding until the ribbon breaks.

All I can give is my mind and heart.

I have nothing left.

I am taking on this voyage with nothing but a pen and paper.

I sail your oceans, watching you drown the sun.

I stare to your stars above me, your explosions do not reach me.

She's a thunderstorm and I find shipwrecks beautiful.

She's a thunderstorm and I am dancing upon the clashing waves.

I am taking on this voyage, I have grown tired of running on quicksand.

I am taking on this voyage without an anchor.

I'm taking on this voyage and I know one day I'll find myself washed up on shore.

Days merging with nights.

Spending an eternity in a waking dream.

Stars shadowing the sun.

Moonlight showers us.

We’re drenched in shivers.

We’re breathing.

Filling our lungs, getting high on the night’s sky.

We are awake.

We are dreaming.

You have started battles within me.

My love for you is a war.

I am fighting the hurt.
The longing.
The depression.

I am fighting, and I have grown tired of battling myself.
Restricting myself.
I am deranged, battered bruised and scarred.

I have grown tired, and I am afraid of the dust clearing up.

I am giving in.

I surrender.

I surrender myself fully to you.
I surrender my arms and let them wrap around you.
I surrender my lungs and only breathe the breath you exhale.
I surrender my lips and kiss the skin that covers you.

My armour crumbles at your touch.
My knees are weak at the sight of you.

You have invaded my mind with everlasting images of you.

You have won.

Now please, chain me down.

I long to present myself to you as a glass of water.

Clean and clear.

Quenching your thirst.

I wish I could seep between the corners of your mouth down to your neck.

Living in a little pool between your collarbones.

The fact of the matter is all I am is this water I'm trying to hold between the palms of my hand.

I present to you this tainted water from the shallow wells within me.

Salty and bitter.

It’s leaking and I can’t hold my arm out to you any longer.

It’s leaking and it will leave my hands cold and shivering.

Misguided will I ever find a way.
Will I ever let go of the the thought of finding something or someone that is not lost or forgotten.
Filling an imagined void.
When I’m whole and doing almost alright.

There’s no void.
There’s no road.
There's no void.
There's no road.

We were lost souls colliding.

We were lost souls that have found what we were too busy to search for.

Under the night’s sky we were souls colliding nostalgic for one another, but have just met.

Our hearts synced, our hearts were beating in harmony.

I recognized the loneliness in their eyes.

It was within me too.

We were together intertwined and inseparable, but we have just met.

That night was ours.

It was timed and timeless.

It was an early winter’s night.

My skin was beating against yours.

I rested my head across your stomach and held your hand against my chest.

I could hear the faint steady beat of your heart.

The melody of it calmed me down.

That night was ours.

It was written in the perfectly aligned stars above us.

For once I was not afraid.
For once I did not fill my mind with expectations that could not be met.
For once I spoke my own words without manipulation.

It has passed.

That night has passed and others will never understand.

We are women.

There’s you, me and her.


She lives with her heart on the ground beat, run over and almost dead.

She lies because she doesn't recognize the truth any more.

She let you down, but that’s the only direction she knows.

Shattered pieces of glass left behind. There’s not much of her now.

She fears sobriety.

Her limbs are shaking.

Her bones turning into ashes.


I'm unstable but I'm not broken like her.

You say we’re all the same.

I don’t want to be you. A bore sane and plain.


Let her go.  Leave her be.

For the sake of me let her go.  Leave her in disguise, even though she’s
naked in front of you.

We’re naked in front of you.

This is me.
I'm here.
I'm shifting the words that you’re reading, altering them from whatever you wrote.

I've been here for awhile.
For as long as you can remember, anyway.

It's getting dull.

Sometimes I say your name as you’re falling asleep, whispering hymns of destruction in your ear.

Do you remember the time that I screamed, throwing panic through you and setting your heart racing?

That was fun.

You’re wondering who I am.  
Of course, you already know.

I'm you.
I'm the real you.
I'm the mind that existed here before you stole my body, before you forgot about being a parasite.
I'm the child who looked the wrong way, asked the wrong question, saw the wrong thing.

I've grown up with you.

Lately, you've been distant.

You may have forgotten me, but I'm still here.
I've always been here.

Soon, I'm going to get out again.