Gulishta

Gulishta Dec 2017

I have a confession.
I'm scared.
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm not thinking straight.
I've never been more afraid.
I'm losing it.
This feeling is becoming an essential.
I can't accept a partial.
It's cutting me deep.
It's making me bleed.
It's grazing on my heart.
It's tearing me apart.
It's blurring my vision.
It's raising the suspicion.
And It's becoming consuming.

Gulishta Dec 2017

Running out of time.

I'm running out of time,
I have to make a life ,starting from a dime.
I don't know how it came to this!
I was living in an oblivious bliss.

My life is hanging from a thread.
I can't even take it as a threat.
They say it's all for the best.
But my mind can't seems to understand.

I'm struggling everyday to make something stand.
I'm trying to control it,
But it keeps getting out my hand.

This flame of the desire that burning inside,
Oh how much more should I have to sacrifice? .
I want something, but life keeps getting in between .
It's such a mess,I want a blank screen.

I wanna write on it.
Make something beautiful.
But why there are always other obligations?
That I must fulfill.

Gulishta Nov 2017

Be my friend.

I was high on your love.
But the reality sobered me up.
I was floating on the cloud nine.
Then I realised that you'll never be mine.

But I'm okay! !..I've accepted it.
That sometimes that just it.
This thing between you and me.
I'm gonna behold and cherish it.

I promise to be your sacred place.
Where you can be anything you want.
I promise to be always there for you.
No matter what it is that you want.
Just be my friend,
Trust me we're gonna have a blast.

Gulishta Nov 2017

No us!.

What do you actually think?,
When you think about me.
What do you actually see me as?
If there isn't any us.

Do you actually care about me?
If we are just you and me.
Do you care that I care for you?
Or you just want me want you.

You want me to care.
But your mind isn't even here.
You want me to come along.
But still want to be alone.

You want to have a home in my heart,
But refusing to give away yours.

Gulishta Nov 2017

An unwanted love.

He said,
I like you, a little.
I want you, a little.
I trust you, a little.
Wanna be with you, a little.
Wanna love you, a little.

I said,
I don't think it's possible.
That my decision is irreplaceable.
That I wouldn't let this happen.

Then why?
I was the one to fall.
I was the one who couldn't be alone.
After knowing everything all along,
Why am I the one who couldn't keep,
My head and heart apart?
Why am I the one,with a broken heart?.

Gulishta Nov 2017

A mess.

My mind is a mess.
This game of life,
Really similar to chess.
I don't know what is right or wrong.
I don't know ,if I wanna be with someone or stay all alone.

I'm trying to solve this puzzle.
Everytime I come close ,
There's another one.
I don't know what to believe.
I don't know,if I should be scared or relieved.
Should I enjoy this feeling?
Or run for the hills??

Maybe it's a bad thing,
My lack of experience.
Or Maybe I shouldn't,
Take this That seriously.

Gulishta Nov 2017

I saw a man.

I saw a man walking by..
Hunched in himself.
Like he wanted to be left alone.
Like it's hurting him,
The sun that just shone .

He was a resemblance of the night.
Cold ,dark and all dressed in black.
With an aura of loneliness.
A walking example of heartbreak.

Maybe he was going to say goodbye.
Or Maybe he was coming back from it.
I wanted to reach out.
To make him less lonely.
To tell him "it's not it".

Then I realised. .
I'm the resemblance of the night.
he was a figment of my imagination.
Just to feel less lonely.
OrMaybe he was the other half of me.