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Grey Aug 2021
Sitting in a chair with a coffee in one hand at a breakfast restaurant , the sun was shining and everyone was walking by going about their everyday life.
Just as I was about get to leave I heard your voice,
“hey Josh”
I turned around and saw you there smiling,
Even though I knew something was wrong.
You didn’t need to explain you sat down immediately and we sat there in silence as if we were honoring a loss.
He had broken up with you because we were all supposed to meet to discuss our lives together.
When you’d finally told me, you tried to leave.
And I responded with
“I have loved you from the moment I met you, everyday I wanted to be a part of the world you are in. I was an young and stupid idiot who never could get control of their feelings or emotions, but you I finally saw that it was possible. And that anything is indeed possible. I look at you and you are the strongest and bravest person I know. I’ve loved you when I was able to hold you in my arms. I’ve loved you from afar when you’d left to find yourself again. And I will always love you no matter what.”
She smiled,
“Can we just run away? Can we just go?”
And just like I woke up.
Back to reality where I know I’ll never be able to call her mine again
Grey Aug 2021
Jolted up in a cold sweat,
I remember why I try not to sleep.
The dreams are back again, the horrible nightmares.
Seeing her smile, hearing her voice before I wake up in the dream and I get the call.
“She’s gone”
Grey Aug 2021
It was dangerous the way he loved her,
Fierce & intensity rising.
He found that even in his cold dark heart there was a warm soft just for her.
The demons of his past would never stop chasing, the sins of his father bloodied his sleeve a deep crimson red.
Left with one option, to keep her safe.
Push her as far away as possible,
And yet still here we are.
Entwined in each other’s lives.
Grey Aug 2021
Your first mistake was thinking you could even speak her name.
That’s my world and I’ll still do whatever it takes to make sure she’s happy and safe.
Even from you.
Grey Aug 2021
The world accepts my chaotic mind, for they find it beautiful.
Dancing with my demons, no more hiding.
Yet the perfect world turns dark when I’m asked those questions
“Who have you loved?
.
.
.
A girl with golden pocket brown eyes.
The one who saw me as more.
It was always her.
Grey Jul 2021
It wasn’t that I wanted to be the one you wanted.
It was that I knew as much as I love you,
I’m no good for you.
I want to run wild & free.
You deserve stability & security.
I could say right person wrong time.
In the end I don’t deserve you.
And that’s okay
Grey Jul 2021
Break me again? That’s okay
It’s all good.
It’ll be okay
Break me as much as you want Ill recover
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